Phil Pelucha 0:00
Between our business and our clients, we did just shy of $10 million worth of additional revenue with $0 in ad spend. So what you need to do is figure out the thing that you're best that right if you're best at making those runs, and scoring those touchdowns. Don't try and play quarterback to attract the things into your life that you want. Whether that's money, job, career, love, happiness, friendship, you have to be prepared to let the old stuff go.
Harry Turner 0:25
Consciousness is always evolving in our present perception becomes our conscious reality. Is life happening for you? Or is it happening to you? A life of authenticity is the life of skillfully practicing your values. You're perfectly human and even when we stumble, still stumble forward. If you see truth and move in love and your family, I invite you to have a seat at our table. You are listening to an authentic outlier. The nocturnal therapists themselves every time
Welcome, welcome. Welcome to another episode of Is that so I'm excited today. I'm excited to have a brother on here who's well experienced in the podcast industry. He knows how to get people to number one. He's coming on and this man is his website is WWII billionaires in boxers.com. So hey, you don't have to explain to me how he came up with that. Be I need to understand how this man got on Business Insider Yahoo News, finance Forbes, BBC Two ft. Africa The Times RTE Virgin Media Campaign Asia Korea tech live s ABC DSTV Fox sky s ABC C NBC times now your I don't know he got to get up in here and talk to us about how he turns people or rather people's passion specifically for podcasts how they make them to turn them into number one. Number one podcast. I'm inviting my guest on. So this man has done a lot. That's my intro. You know, I'm bringing them on. Welcome. Phil Pelluca to the IS THAT SOO? show.
Phil Pelucha 2:00
Thanks for having me on brother. A lot of fun man. Well, listen, just even the first few minutes of what you were saying. I was like, I have answers for days, we're gonna go full Joe Rogan with this thing. So I'm Phil Pelluca, founder and CEO of a business called Billionaires in Boxers. And I'm sure we'll get on to where that name came from shortly.
There are three main areas to our business, there's a business broadcast network that worked with 15 Different satellite television networks globally producing around 250 to 300 hours worth of business TV content per month. And that's elevating a lot of businesses, particularly across the emerging markets. There is an investment and fundraising part of our business that works with businesses who are currently private, who are looking to go public, and they're looking to generate funds to be able to do that. So we're typically playing in the realm of, you know, 1050 100 million dollars plus in terms of additional sales and revenue, which is a lot of fun. Our fastest one was $365 million in the space of six months. That was I was particularly pleased with.
And then our other side of our business, because I'm still very passionate about it is our micro business and solopreneurs. It's working with coaches and people who are ready to become that authority that influence and showing them how they can get off that cashflow rollercoaster by introducing these things.
And it came about because when I left the corporate world, I had no idea how to win clients. Not but I previously grown and sold to sports podcasting, that works. I knew just how powerful this was as a VIP backstage networking pass. I was getting Champions League tickets, Super Bowl tickets, I was getting World Cup tickets, I was getting to meet players and managers that, you know, I dreamed of meeting and should never have had the opportunity to if it wasn't for the podcast. And I started to wonder, I wonder if I can use this for business.
So fast forward to where we are today. I've grown and sold to professional services agencies using podcasting. For the past six years, we've been teaching hundreds of other people how to do that with 100% success record. For the past three years, we've been ranked number one in the world for that exact skill.
So podcasting well and truly changed all of our lives.
Harry Turner 3:57
Did you say number one in the world?
Phil Pelucha 4:00
Number one in the world for the past three years in a row?
Harry Turner 4:02
Phil Pelucha 4:03
let me answer with this one. Because you've been having this conversation about advertising and getting yourself out there and using it to grow and reach more people. Your vibe attracts your tribe and all this kind of beautiful stuff, right? vibe attracts your tribe, I must say at least 10 times a day. It's kind of like the the core that runs through our business, right. But I also want to stress this because if you want to dive into this, we can.
But during the pandemic, there are two stats that I'm most proud of in the fact they got sick with pneumonia for six months, which wasn't great. That wasn't fun. But the two stats that I'm most proud of are between our business and our clients. We did just shy of $10 million worth of additional revenue with $0 in ad spend $10 million worth of additional revenue with $0 in ad spend. Okay.
Harry Turner 4:46
All right. Yeah, talk to me talk right.
Phil Pelucha 4:49
We also wait for this we also did $365 million worth of investment and fundraising with $0 in ad spend. We use podcasting and new media We use strategic alliances, you know, you want to know the fastest way to grow your podcast and get to number one, it's a pair on as a guest on other people's podcasts that already have that, that audience, add as much value as possible and your vibe will attract your tribe. That's how we got to half a million subscribers and downloads. That's how we get to millions of people watching a TV show. We're about to release our third season of a TV show. Every single piece of this was done, because we appear on other people's shows, we had tremendous amounts of value. People stick around, listen and go, Oh, I like what this guy's got to say. And he's got his own podcast, and he's interviewing really cool people. I'm gonna go stick around and engage with that person.
Harry Turner 5:39
Come on, man. But why? Okay, so let me make it personal. Why? Well, maybe it goes into my first question here, which is how can I and others use media to gain more market share in media coverage? But how can little ol me, you know, this little southern boy from Louisiana? You know, how can little me Why would anybody you know, except me on this show. If they have like all of these followers, I mean, I'm pretty sure they looking for like Oprah. And Will Smith, and I'm, you know, I'm not Oprah, we'll Smith, I would have that all mean.
Phil Pelucha 6:11
So here's the answer. The power of podcasting is a new media in general and social media in general, the power of podcasting is not in the audience.
That's where everybody thinks it is. But it's not.
The power of podcasting is built by having a VIP backstage pass to network with whoever you want to network with within that industry. So if you now start to think of this as a networking tool that you can speak to anybody you want to, you can be mentored for free by anybody that you want to work with, and not have to pay hundreds of 1000s of dollars, because they're going to have that one on one time with you. On a podcast,
you're going to create strategic alliances with people that I call NCPs, non competitive partnerships, who works with the same target audience that you do that doesn't deliver the same service or product? How can you elevate each other's businesses and make introductions for each other?
You know, so when you start to think of it this way, and customers I mean, customers is a great one. If you want to you're in the world of business, and you need to meet people to win customers. Now getting booked on keynote speaking gigs, summits, events, exhibitions, meeting people one on one speaking to professional services buddies, everybody's out there already. They're not sat at home with blinkers on just waiting for you to talk. They're already looking at something they're already watching. They're already trying to learn and improve their lives. So instead of trying to put your stand up in the middle of like the mall and shout and say, Hey, everyone, come to my store, go and put your store smack bang in the middle of where they're already looking.
Harry Turner 7:36
Ah ha. Okay, so I'm taking notes now, brother, cuz I'm learning. So NCP, what does that stand for?
Phil Pelucha 7:41
Non competitive partnerships. The way I describe it is they'd work with the same target audience that you do, but don't deliver the same service or product.
So in my world, for example, that's a lot of executive coaches. That's a lot of people who work in the investment community. So private equities, m&a is in family offices, you know, VCs, who influences the influencers in a business, but people giving them the money, right? So that's who works, who might noncompetitive partnerships. Hi, I can introduce companies that are looking to fundraise to funds that I know and trust, they can introduce businesses that they're giving money to, to say, he can get you to number one, he can get you that media attention that you need, go and work with him. And as a result, we're all elevating each other.
And a great example of this. So if anybody's ever done a keynote speech that will know this, right? The very first time that you're booked as a speaker at an exhibition, the very next question every single time that you are asked is, “who else do you know that I should speak to because we're still looking for speakers, exhibitors, sponsors, workshops, posts,” right?
So if you've got a team of people, and I say business is a team sport, right, and the problem that a lot of entrepreneurs have is we try and wear too many hats. So what you need to do is figure out the thing that you're best bet, right? If you're best at making those runs, and scoring those touchdowns, don't try and play quarterback go and partner partner yourself with a quarterback who's going to pick you out every single time you make that run.
To use a soccer analogy, if you're great at scoring goals, stop going back and defending, you know, use back there, go and partner with people who are going to defend, get the ball back and send it a field so that you can score the goal.
That's how you need to start looking at business. And if you do it in that way, and you start looking at who's speaking at the events that I want to speak at who's working with the people that I want to work with?
Podcasting is a great example of this. Because in the world of business, it's all very competitive, right? It's all very, like, I'm not telling you my secret, even though it's the same secret that you've got, because we all need to be really protective of our stuff. In the world of podcasting, that doesn't exist, right? You don't have the whole you know, Apple versus Microsoft thing going on.
Most people won't just listen to one podcast in a sector or genre. They'll listen to multiple podcasts. So one of the best ways to elevate yourself is to partner with other people in that genre and in that space and you elevate each other's content you cross promote you introduce guests you meet somebody great, you introduce them to them you meet somebody awful you warn them. Hey, that dude is terrible. Don't interview them. Help each other, avoid the banana skins and climb that ladder much faster.
Harry Turner 10:11
Okay, brother. So is this is that the response to this one? How can I use media to gain more market share media coverage?
Phil Pelucha 10:17
Look, what I want to say is this three, I talked about the three P's and I'll add this in here, right? Because I think it's important. Most people when they're doing interviews or guest appearing, mainly guest appearing, it works for your own show as well. So we'll talk about that later. But most people will start podcasting by guest appearing right, they won't start their own show, they'll go and appear on somebody else's.
And I speak to people, I've done hundreds of hours of interviews, and they're like, ah, you know, it did some stuff for me, I got some leads, I got that speaking gig, but like, it doesn't really do a lot for me. So I get to the point where it's like, is it worth investing the time into a conversation if it's not producing me any money or helping my business grow? And it always comes down to this? They're not speaking with their three P's. The three P's are Purchaser, Partner, Promoter.
Purchasers, pretty obvious. Are they going to become a customer? Partner? Are they an NCP? Can they introduce me to more of my ideal customers? promoter? Do they have a stage a podcast, television show radio show Facebook group that can introduce me to more of the first two?
If the answer is no to all three of those questions, don't do the interview. That's how people can invest so much of their time on interviews that never seem to go anywhere. It's like, why did you do that interview? Oh, well, they invited me and I felt flattered.
Like, what that makes no sense, like time is your most valuable commodity, and you're just gonna give it away. Like you wouldn't spend $50,000 on Facebook ads without a strategy. So why would you start podcasting without a strategy? When time is so much more valuable than money?
Harry Turner 11:49
Oh this is good. So purchaser, tell me what the purchaser does again.
Phil Pelucha 11:53
So Purchaser a Partner or Promoter. Purchaser's a customer, are they going to buy your stuff?, are they going to work with you? So a great example, in my world, for example, we have three different levels of our business, we work with investment, medium sized organizations, and micro businesses, where we teach coaches and small businesses how to do this.
I would say the place that I spend most of my time outside of the investment and TV stuff, is that agency world, right? It's kind of 50 to 200 employees, for businesses looking to try and do the whole David versus Goliath. They're trying to fight the big guys that employ 10,000 people a pop, and they're like, how on earth are we going to do that, right? And media is the way to do that. Because big wheels turn slowly. Those big companies, they're not agile, they're not personable, they're not approachable, they're not known. You don't like them, people buy people, right. So if you can get yourself out there and go and do that, that's really going to help you. So it's an phenomenal business development tool. It can be repurposed for all of your marketing, like you literally don't need to do any more marketing, if you just repurpose your podcast interviews properly.
Alright, so one of the things that I do in my world is I will do interviews with agency owners who I know are already doing a couple 100,000 a year, but they want to be getting millions, maybe even into the 10s of millions realm, I'm going to do an interview with them on a podcast. And if I resonate with them, only if I resonate with them important distinction. At the end, I'm going to say let's facilitate another conversation to see how I can help you get to that stage, because I'm very selective over who we work with.
But each of those deals are worth 30k, 50k, $70,000 a pop. So if I just do one of those types of deals every month, that's an extra 50k in my back pocket and in the back pocket the business by meeting people on podcasts. So if you have a high ticket service, and you're thinking, How do I get more meetings? How do I get past the gatekeepers? How do I get in front of people? See this little thing right here? This little podcast mic? Yeah, there's your ticket.
Harry Turner 13:42
Sir. Sir, I will definitely be keeping in touch. I know we have we have way more to talk about, but I will definitely be keeping in touch with you. Because clearly, I'm doing it all wrong. You know, I'm out here just being authentic thinking that, you know, my tribe eventually will find me. But apparent I gotta strategically placed myself in some positions in some places as well.
And I see purchaser customer will, will they buy my stuff? Which then for those of us who are for those of you who may be taking some notes, make sure you have product? no product, no purchase, right?
Phil Pelucha 14:12
Harry Turner 14:13
All right. And then partner, so collaborate with other people who can introduce you who have larger crowds, and who may be able to introduce you to those crowds,
Phil Pelucha 14:25
not even necessarily larger crowds, but crowds. I mean, look, you only need to know 10 People that know 100 People each and you've already built up a decent tribe. I mean, you kind of mentioned something earlier, I would rather be famous for 500 of the right people and 2 million of the wrong people.
Harry Turner 14:39
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. All right. We got that one in promoter. What does the promoter do again?
Phil Pelucha 14:45
So Promoter can introduce you to more of the first two. So do they have a stage at Summit, a platform, Facebook group, podcast, television, show, radio show? Whatever? Do they have an ability to put you on a stage and introduce you to mode the first two
Harry Turner 14:58
Brother, I love this Because I'm putting on my head and I'm writing a lot. I mean, I know those those of us like I do about roughly 15 minute edit to put on YouTube of the broadcast like this. No worries if you mess up, we just edited it out. But no, this the whole episode is going to be on my podcasting platform on my website, on Apple on Stitcher, stuff like that. I will say, for those y'all who cannot see us and see me in particular, I've been having my head down this particular episode more than ever, because I'm literally taking notes. And I know y'all y'all can't see I can't see my scribble scratch because this is going to podcast. But for those y'all who watch the 15 Minute, like, you know, buy in trailer there. Just know that yeah, I wouldn't write down something that I thought was like he said,
Time is money. And right now. It's it's it's very, it has been dire in the past for me in both of those areas. But again, I affirm our reality. So I say I'm not broke, but I am overcoming a financial situation. Thank you, Les Brown. But anyway, sir, please continue. Please continue. Tell me what, tell us more. And I have another question for you. And lets, you know, hit me with it. Okay. All right.
So my next question is, how can I and others identify and attract the right investment? for our projects?
Phil Pelucha 16:17
Yeah, I like that. Look, investment is just like trying to recruit somebody, right, you want to have the right person, it has to vibe, it has to gel. This isn't just a financial transaction. Because there's a big difference between an investor who's going to throw a million dollars at your project, and nothing else. And an investor who's going to throw a million dollars at your product or service, and has a lot of introductions and people that they can introduce you to they're going to champion your cause. They're going to want to be involved in the conversation, they keep vibration, the spirits high.
Now the thesis, what you're looking for here is the kind of person that when you speak to them, you bounce off each other. And like every time, I mean, I must have at least six or seven of these guys in my life. And girls, for that matter, that every time we have a conversation. It's like bang, bang, bang bang is like a tennis match at all, we could do this, oh, if we do that, then we could put this in. And before you know, you get off the call, and you're five to 10 steps further closer to what you were trying to do.
And you've the energy is so high, like you're so pumped up those conversations effect between you and I, I can't have those. I work us time, even though I'm in the UK. And I cannot have those conversations any later than 10 o'clock at night because I don't sleep. I'm too pumped up on too wide, like cannot sleep. So as a rule, it's like Phil can we have a chat at 11 about this thing. It's like, No, we can't. Because otherwise I'm gonna sacrifice sleep again. And I'm okay but the next day I'm like a zombie, right?
Harry Turner 17:39
Phil Pelucha 17:40
The whole Your vibe attracts your tribe thing appeals to every aspect of your life, it appeals to your friendship group. You know, it appeals to your investors that appeals to your customers. It appeals to the people you employ to work with you, it appeals to your partners, right? You have to learn to trust that thing inside that intrinsic guts, action and gut reaction.
And here's an example that we've all kind of experienced, right. And I'll give you a good and a bad. So we have all experience working with a customer that we really wish we hadn't bothered. Every single one of us. And when we think about the customer, particularly at the time, when we realize it's all gone belly up. And it's painful. It's not just painful, because it sucks it painful. Because we go, I knew that was gonna happen. If you knew it was gonna happen, why did you do it? And the answer is, you needed the money.
Let's call a spade a spade, you needed the money, you needed to pay bills, that person was offering you money, you went ah, they're not my favorite person, but you know, five grands five grand, I'm just gonna do a deal, right, and you take the money, and off you go.
And then you instantly wish that you hadn't bothered. Because it's always the ones that you do that for you do a massive discount, you go above and beyond you change your process for that ends up being a pain in the backside. And the reason is, they don't love value you because they're making you change you to fit them. Which means that that's not your kind of person.
So if you trusted your gut instinct and was like, this isn't vibin and you trust yourself enough and trust, whether it's God universe, spirit yourself, I don't care what it is you're putting that trust into. But if you have enough faith and belief that even if you're flat broke at that moment, saying no to that deal is still in your best interest. Life will reward you with the rewards that you deserve.
You keep saying yes to the wrong opportunities. Life recognizes and goes ugh, he'll just do anything. Let's just keep giving him this. Some really careful because the intention that you put out there is what it is that you're going to get back.
The positive example of this is we've all met somebody and let's use the example of a friend of a friend because we've all had this scenario, where you're going out to watch a sports game or something or you go to a bar or a family wedding or whatever, right. And somebody brings a friend a good friend of yours brings a friend with them that you've never met before.
How often do you instantly feel like you've known that person for years? You spent the whole night laughing and drinking with them talking, like this person is my kind of person, this girl's my kind of girl, this guy is awesome. I'm keeping in touch with this person. Why does that happen? It's because Your vibe attracts your tribe. So the people within your tribe are attracting other people like them. Now flip that into a business sense.
Harry Turner 20:20
Phil I gotta say, I'm feeling pretty good talking to your brother, I have to make sure I stay in contact with Yo. But that makes that makes sense. Because my friend group, the very small friend group I have, when they bring along another, I they that my person is my friend for a reason. And they understand me. And so more than likely the vibe that they're on, they're attracting similar vibe. And so they bring in people without me having to go ahead and do the whole history check and background check, they're bringing in people was already on that frequency, you know.
And when you have multiple people on the same frequency, there is no more giving, you don't lose, you give, but there's no losing. In the sharing, you're merely sharing and you build each other up, y'all share back and forth, and you amplify each other. There is no losing when you meet when you're on somebody on the same frequency as you.
And I just really, really wanted to bring that point because I bring this up. Oftentimes, in my practice, you know, when people talk about interpersonal relationships, and why can't they or why am I not getting and I've been trying for so long. Well, if you go into a connection, and you already know that the the frequency is not, not, not on the same vibe that y'all are unevenly yoked for some who need that phrasing, who understands that phrase, and y'all are, y'all are just not, you're just not on the same page with things.
And so what happens in that space, everything energy seeks harmony, cold, if you see cold, cold seeks to be a little bit warmer, right? Warm seeks to be cold. You see, whenever you add hot and cold together, you get lukewarm. So this is balancing act that occurs, right? It happens we are bodies of energy. And so when we get with someone who we may be hot and they may be cold, quite naturally, the experience is going to be lukewarm current, because they cannot reciprocate.
There's no reciprocity, where the frequency where there's no where there's no even yoke-ness, there can be no reciprocity, when you are not on the same frequency with the people that you depend on, there's going to be very little reciprocity, if anything its going to be chaos, and you want to expend more energy than necessary just trying to fix what isn't going according to plan, based off of what you saw.
Phil Pelucha 22:35
Well, you just mentioned a really important word there. So I talked about law of reciprocity all the time. And the challenging part with more Law of Reciprocity is one of the greatest laws that you could ever implement into your life and into your business. The challenging part of Law of Reciprocity is, if you want to think of it this way, it's an advanced skill.
And the reason it's an advanced skill is because if you don't trust your gut instinct to know who should be in your tribe, and who shouldn't, what ends up happening instead is you give you give, and you give, and they take and they take and they take and you become cynical. You go, well, no one ever gives back to me. So why do I Why am I always there to help people and they're never there to help me? Because they're the wrong people.
Harry Turner 23:15
to grab this magazine cuz you were speaking about something. And it goes on psychotherapy. Yes, psychotherapy, social worker, psychotherapy work. So it says who heals the healer? Yeah, who heals the healer. And, and when you were, I forget exactly how you were putting it. But it really touched my heart, when you were talking about the fact that we, we give so much. And then when there's no reciprocity, eventually you get burnt out. And then when you get burnt out, the very people that you gave all that energy to that served as a catalyst to that burnout will abandon you.
Phil Pelucha 23:54
So Right. I mean, look, what you find is, I mean, and many people might find this at the minute and you mentioned that about your friendship group before. At one stage, I must say it was the same for you, because it certainly was for me, I had quite a large friendship group. And then I went through some pretty difficult and challenging times and loads of Pardon the language loads that showed itself out. Like they were nowhere to be found, like I needed that help at that moment, and they were nowhere. But I had about five or six friends who were there for me every single step of the way.
Like I'll give you an example. When I fell sick last year, I caught long COVID And I had like pneumonia for like six or seven months. It was it was a really bad deal.
And when I was at the worst of it, I was I realistically I should have been in hospital. I should have been in hospital on a drip but because of what was going on with COVID They had no beds and I didn't want to be there. So I was in bed and I don't think it's unreasonable to say because I don't like to exaggerate. There were times when I wondered whether I was dying. Like that's how bad I was feeling like I wondered whether I was getting pretty close to the end here.
And it was only when I started to get better that I started to realize like everything had just carried on like the business had carried on, and like even stuff like in my house and I was like, Wait, since my wife like I do like the home shopping like for the food and stuff is on my account like I don't remember setting up one for this new supermarket because we had this thing for like a delivery had come from a new supermarket. So our foods our cupboards were full of this food from this grocery place. And I said, Where did that come from? And she said, Oh, your friend Jonathan did an online shop for us and just sent us a monthly shop. Right? Like he didn't ask, he didn't ask whether that's what we needed. He messaged to see if I was okay. And I didn't respond back because I was asleep. So he messaged my wife and said, Is he okay? And she said, he's been in bed for a few days. He's sleeping like 15 hours a day. Like he's just trying to recover. And he said no problem. And he sent over money to my wife's account without telling her and did a grocery shop and just sent it over
They're the friends that you need in your life, right? I'll tell you what I did for him. The end of it. I mean, him. We love football, soccer. Both big Liverpool fans, we've traveled all around Europe together. So not only did we sought out tickets, I bought him a PlayStation five and FIFA 21 and sent it over to his house in Ireland so that we could play computer games together. That was my gift to him. And he's like, that's way too big a gift. And I'm like, No, it's not like because I can't tell you. Like it's not the monetary value. It's not the monetary value. I can't tell you how much it meant to me that in my hour of need. You were there without me even asking. Like that means more to me than you will ever know. And that's the people that you need to start bringing in attracting into your life. And the only way you can attract those people into your life is by being bold enough and brave enough to say goodbye to the people that aren't right.
Harry Turner 26:46
Oh, whoa, man. Oh, man. All right, you and I will do another episode. I'm just letting you know if you have your friend. Can you say his name for me, please?
Phil Pelucha 26:57
Yeah, his name's Jonathan Higgins. He's a he's a very good guy. He's my best friend,
Harry Turner 27:01
Let me take some Jonathan even I don't know your brother. I know that you're a kindred spirit based off of what your brother just said about you. You know, and so I applaud you because you know, principled people and loving people. For some reason. We're like an endangered species out here. Some people that move in love and truth like that. Look, I have all the love and respect for you, man, mad respect for you. And hopefully more people, we get to begin to spread that energy.
Some more people adopt that there's not many people who've ever been there during my time of need to show me that they actually gave a damn so as far as I'm concerned as long as I can, if I had something for them, then I would call them up. Because I know there'll be we're ready to receive. But as far as me in my time of need, I don't look for anybody to be there. You know. And that's, it's sad that, in my opinion, it's disheartening. That that is the way that we are now and in our society.
Phil Pelucha 27:58
I want to stress the point that letting people go from your life is not easy, because what you'll quite often find it like these people could be family, you know, like, I'm not just talking about letting go of that relationship you have with a neighbor that you say hello to once a month, I'm talking about maybe cutting off a sister,
I'm talking about if somebody isn't right for you, not keeping them around just because of the title that was bestowed on them at birth. That could be a mother, a father, a brother, a sister, a cousin, it could be anybody like that's related to you that's close to you that's in your circle, it's not easy to let them go.
One of the most painful ones for me, and I've never shared this on anything, but you've been very honest with me. So I'll do the same for you, was my godfather, my godfather was there for me, like more than my father was because I didn't know my father growing up. And my godfather was at every graduation, every school play every event, every sports game, I played professional sports used to travel around the world watching it.
I then married a South African, Indian Muslim, and he instantly had a problem with me, because I've married somebody outside of our faith. And as a Christian man, I found that really difficult to have because he was somebody who is very involved in the church. And you know, it was always been teaching, love and discipline and respect. But that only applies to his own people.
So what ended up happening was, I tried for a long time to keep that relationship going. And one of the things that I realized was, he wasn't really responding to my messages, we kind of came to that point in our relationship where we probably message each other every Christmas and New Year. And that was it. And then there are a few times that I was messaging. And I realized I'm going through some serious stuff in my life. And this guy has no idea about any of it because we haven't had a proper conversation for 18 months. Right? Haven't had a proper conversation for 18 months. And I'm thinking that's not a relationship that I need to hold on to what I'm holding on to right there is the memories of a relationship that was once good. Mm hmm. And but by letting but what I realized is you can separate the two, I can let go of that relationship. because it no longer serves me and keep hold of all of the great memories that I love, and I keep warming my heart from when I was younger and when we had a great relationship, the two aren't mutually exclusive. You know, they are, they are intrinsically linked, you can have both. And by letting those people go from your life, it makes room for other people like there are people that I've met in the last 18 months to two years that I know are going to be involved in my life for the rest of my life.
And 100% I'll give you I'll give him a shout out there's a guy called Mel Bibbins. Mel is a guy from Florida. So again, somebody from the other side of the pond, right? Yes, business owner from Sarasota, great guy in the MLM space, make money online. But one of the things he hates about that space is he's very ethical and moral and a lot of people in that space aren't so he's constantly coming up against people that he doesn't agree with as people. We met at an event fell in love with each other and set with the conversation literally went like this. How can we get involved in each other's businesses so that we can spend more time together? Let me tell you what's happening right now. I have been dealing with health. I've been dealing with appointments, I've been going back and forth to the doctors, I'm still recovering from this thing. During those times despite the fact he's managing his own business. He will pick up sales calls for me on my behalf and have conversations with my customers to make sure that my business doesn't skip a beat.
Harry Turner 31:23
Can you please say his name brother,
Phil Pelucha 31:24
Mel Bibbins. Mel,
Harry Turner 31:26
hold on a second respect to Mel Bibbins out there in Florida? Yeah, I agree. Yeah, we got to pay homage to the real ones out there. We got to pay homage to the real ones, because they could they're few and far between I tell you that much. But please continue.
Phil Pelucha 31:43
When you find them brother it you know, they will start to resonate like Jonathan and Mel get on incredibly well. Like, like you said, your friendship group. Like you don't need to do the pre vetting. Because if somebody brings something to the table and someone that you love and trust, and you can say, Listen, I resonate with this person, I think you'll like him, 9.9 times out of 10 you're going to. And that's really, really special. But again, I really want to stress this point. If you don't have many of those people or any of those people in your life right now, there's one simple answer as to why that's happening. You're accepting that, instead of letting them go, release the, let's say you've only got room for six good friends, or your current spots are being taken up by douchebags that don't deserve your love and attention. Get rid of them and replace them with somebody else. It's better to have nobody for a short period of time than six of the wrong people draining your energy.
Harry Turner 32:35
And notice that brother, the brother said wrong people draining energy. So basically, the frequency is not on the same. So I'm gonna say that I don't know if you I don't know if you heard me speak on this before. But I just want to emphasize for those of y'all who are part of the fad, declaring anybody that that you know, you are not friends with "toxic", bad.
Understand this, I believe that this concept of toxicity is nonsense. I believe that it is a fad that must die immediately. Because there's nothing I can declare true for you and not declared that same thing true for me. We all can have toxicity inside of us. That doesn't make us toxic people just like a flu. I don't become the flu, because I have the flu is just in me. So we all have certain levels of toxicity within us is that some people because of their pain and their unwillingness to to do the work to heal, like any virus, it progresses.
Phil Pelucha 33:24
You're so right. I mean, it's like we don't know, what goes on behind closed doors. We don't know what other people are carrying. We don't know what other baggage people have. I think what you just said is really profound as well, like it's the people who are in that position that would potentially be called toxic, that actually need your love the most like that they're in that place. It's a reaction, right? That the way that they're behaving, which might suck, it might be really painful, it might burn you, right? But they're doing that because of a reaction. I truly believe that there's no such thing as an inherently bad person. There are only bad experiences. And what's sad about that is when you continue to have bad experiences, you start to wonder whether you are just a bad experience.
The thing that gets me about that is that time that when somebody is in that mindset and in that place, that's the time that they need love and support the most and it's the time that society shuns them. And that's a hard thing to accept.
Harry Turner 34:17
Speak it Phil Come on, man. Yes, it is that's brothers that many times that that this giant of a powerhouse that I am that I fall ill. You know what I noticed? A I see I liken it to like being Bruce as it is a Bruce Banner. Yeah, I liken it to this is like when I when I'm not myself because of whatever it goes, you know, I'm not I'm not myself.
I wake up out of that trance of turning into the Hulk and I look up. Now I can look at the damage and the shame around the damage. But then there's something else I look at too. And that is how people treated me in that space. How my so called friends is treated me in that space. And this is is where I had to do the shadow work to get away from this belief that abandonment is always going to be the case for me. Because abandonment will always be the case for you, if you continue to connect with people that you want to give to and have no intention are never given anything back to you, because when you will fall ill and you can't give anymore. That's when they're going to go South. That's when they gonna show you who they truly are.
So definitely align yourself with people who are evenly yoked people on the same frequency with you, so that one day you can wake up with groceries in your damn house without you ever asking for it. You get people in your life that are supplying your needs without you even telling them what your needs are. Like I said, there's only a handful of people that even know that I'm struggling with something that you know, they're trying to assess whether I have cancer or not. And again, I don't know. That's not to say I'm not saying this or announcing this to say I because I've been dealing with this all this year, it's my first time saying it on air, you know
Phil Pelucha 35:59
I appreciate you sharing.
Harry Turner 36:00
I appreciate you being real, because that's the only reason I'm being well, no, I would be real regardless. But when I'm around authentic people this this comes up, right. I don't deem it important enough to tell many people know, and I very well, good, you know, I mean,
Phil Pelucha 36:15
but you know what, you know why that is, don't you because you recognize that for some people that you for the right, let me put it this way, for the right people that you tell this to that's a trigger for them to start reacting in a way that supports you. for to tell the wrong people that that's an opportunity for them to push away or use it as something to hurt you. So by not sharing it with everybody and saying, right, here's the whole world, like, here's what's going on, you know, cuz you don't want people giving you look, this is the whole energy and Karmic energy thing. You don't want people sending you negative vibrations when you're trying to get better. I only want to tell the people that I know are going to send me positive vibrations back because that's going to help me to recover good.
One of the best things I did when I got sick was leave all of the I started joining groups like long COVID support groups and all this kind of stuff, right? The best thing I did was leave, right? Because Because in my head, I was going, I'm gonna get better. I've got it. I'm coming back, baby, I'm going to be back stronger. Like I'm going to use this time I'm going to reflect I have to be on my ass in bed. Sleeping fine. I'm going to meditate. I'm going to spend time reflecting on what's important to me. You know,
I introduced a four day workweek to my business that I'll never go back to anything other than this. Monday, Tuesday, Thursday, Friday, because I'm always at least today, I'm always minimum two days away from rest. Something new and I'll never stop doing that in my business now. But the point is this when I was going on those groups, all I was reading is what if this is us forever? What if we're always like this? Reading people six to eight months further away than I am saying, I'm back in hospital with a heart attack. I've got this going on. That's really negative. All I'm now thinking is oh my god, is that what I've got to expect? Like everything's gonna keep getting worse? No, listen, if you if you want to get better, if you want to get and I'm going to use that term subjectively. If you want to get better financially, if you want to get better terms of business, if you want to get better in terms of happiness, if you want to get better in terms of health, surround yourselves with six people who are going to give you the vibrations in order to facilitate that. That's the only secret you need.
Harry Turner 38:14
Oh, brother. I'm already three minutes late for my next podcast. Ah, you have to come back brother.
Phil Pelucha 38:22
Well, I'd love to, I think conversation.
Harry Turner 38:25
Yeah, man, because there's so much on what you're saying. I'm gonna make sure that we have at least an hour and a half to two hour time span would be good just because there's so much to what you're saying and so much you're touching on so many things. Like I haven't heard. I haven't heard people speak like come on and speak to like, what I'm going through my heart you know, and things I've been pondering on the way that you have and what I mean by that is like all of this about the friendship and fallen ill and this and that. I hadn't had the opportunity to even really voice how I feel about all it is and what occurred until just now. I'm on a freakin podcast on air. And and this is where I meet my opportunity with someone on the same wavelength to say, Hey, brother, I'm going through these medical issues. I've lost a crap ton of weight. But, and honestly say as cold as it as it may sound, I don't know how many people a lot of people know me. I don't know how many people would care if I died tomorrow or the day after, you know, outside of the few people I told about it.
You know, but I think about how much I give to people, strangers, whoever it don't matter how much I give because I always want to do is spread love and I want to spread that mission, the truth. So people see the truth of who they are. So they move in a more authentic space. This is why I'm here but I'll tell you what brother and I get I'm not I'm not terminally ill nobody told me I'm terminally ill or anything like that. You still have to continue to run a test. But I'll tell you what, Brother if I were to close my eyes tonight, you will have made my life richer via this authentic conversation we had and for that, I thank you.
Phil Pelucha 39:57
Thank you Brother. Thank you. And you know what I think I think I want to say this. And this is the last thing because I appreciate you've got to dial for your other podcast. I think lots of people can take away from this, but I'm saying this specifically to you, right? You're a giver. You're a healer, and you're a giver. And it's hard to be a healer and a giver, because most people go to a healer or a giver when they want to take not when they want to reciprocate. Right. So, when you're talking about, you know, how many people would care if you weren't here tomorrow, right?
Here's what I want to tell you, the people who matter, it would matter a lot to right. The people that don't matter, in the sense of they, you know, they wouldn't really care that much that you weren't here anymore, even though you've given to them. That wasn't for them. That was for you. Because you have a good heart and a good soul, you would not be able to rest easy and go to that big place in the sky. If you'd have had that loving heart and just held on to it to yourself forever and gone screw everyone else. They don't want to give to me, I don't want to give to them. There's plenty of those people out there. You and me are not that person. So you're giving to people. Yes, it's helping them. But it's also helping you to serve your life's mission and your life's purpose. And that ultimately is the only thing that matters.
Harry Turner 41:09
Come on, yes. Again, people again, standing ovations, standing ovations. Man Phil, Phil, look, I'm gonna let you close this out, brother, I'm going to please let the people know where you're from to but I'm gonna give you the screen one more time by yourself. All I want to say to my people, before I give you this screen, though, is this has been an amazing episode. Like, I hope y'all have taken notes like I have, I will invite him back on again. And this time, it's not gonna be a time limit. I'm not going back, I have something right behind this. I'm not gonna run too, because I didn't know that this would be such an enjoyable and meaningful for me personally meaningful conversation dialogue that I would have with somebody. And I need more of that I thirst for conversations like these. Brother feel you got to close.
Phil Pelucha 41:57
Thank you so much. Well, I really appreciate being here. I appreciate you. And I appreciate everyone for taking the time to stick around. And listen, you know, there's some some deep stuff we've discussed today.
But for everybody that needed to hear this, and I believe that that's what the universe does is it puts this in front of people that need to hear it either when it came up fresh, or you might be listening to this 2, 3, 4 or five years down the line. The points remain this right to attract the things into your life that you want. Whether that's money, job, career, love, happiness, friendship, you have to be prepared to let the old stuff go.
What we want as humans is for the new stuff to come in so that we can let the old stuff go because that feels better. It's not how the universe works. You need to take a look at your life right now and start to say, Am I doing things that serve my best interest? Now what are the things that I love to do? Am I making sure that I find time to do those things every day, every week? Am I making sure that I'm spending time to elevate the people that I love that also love me and vibrate with me? Start to see who works start to see who's resonating with you. And don't be afraid to say no to opportunities that don't serve your higher purpose.
Harry Turner 43:01
I wanted to put your contact info down here please go check out the contact info for those y'all who are listening to this via audio because it's now been turned into a podcast the website I'll read www.billionairesinboxers.com www.billionairesinboxers.com. All right brother look man love and respect to you and your family. Man. I appreciate the friends the connections that you made out there Miami. Thank you Miami. Where are you from? Again, just outside Liverpool in the UK, Liverpool UK out here in the UK.
Phil Pelucha 43:35
I was gonna say I'm wishing you a speedy recovery as well man hope I hope they get the get to the bottom of what's going on and they help you make a speedy recovery because you've got to you've got a lot more people to light up and you got a lot more to mission yet left so many more years whether many Thank you.
Harry Turner 43:49
I received that and I'll say the placebos inside of me so I'm already healing 100% Man, I'm confident but again, not my will but Thy will be done I accept it all radical acceptance. I appreciate life and if my if my time to transition is tomorrow, I know that my purpose was well served and I will be happy having had this conversation with you, sir. Likewise. Alright, show we are out of here. I'm gonna talk to you soon. All right, sounds good. You take your time what to do? When does your time tell you what to do? Are you living? Are you merely existing? Are you constantly reacting? Or are you responding to life? Mix beliefs create confusion creates a life of stagnation, desire change, visit www dot become an outlier.com/about that is www.becomeanoutlier.com/about a b o ut to start your journey. Stay tuned for more episodes and keep listening to the Nocturnal Therapists himself, Harry Turner.
Transcribed by https://otter.ai