Harry Turner 00:10
Hello, hello, hello what's going on outliers? This is your host of course welcome to another episode of Is that and for those y'all who may be new to the show, understand that is that so represents I'm getting this right real quick is that so represents equanimity. And this year, we're talking about shadows Hold on a second. I'm getting my, my inner James Brown coming up. All right. So again, welcome outliers to this episode, and I have a wonderful guest. I mean, she's, uh, we are in alignment. Of course, this season, the focus is on shadows and Shadow Work and facing your shadows. And so my guests that I have on for the season, I strategically chose because of their ability to articulate exactly what it is what it means to face your shadows. And so without further ado, I want to just give you all a brief, a brief intro my guest, Miss Lewis Hollis is a shame guilt, educator, counselor, and filmmaker. And you can check her out at www.loishollis.com and Lois is spelled L o i s h o l l i s.com. All right in Ms Lois Hollis volunteered as a nurse's aide at the age of 12. And her desire to understand and heal the body continues at the tender age of 77 as a shame guilt, educator, counselor, and filmmaker. And so I know she has a lot of fresh information to give us because, contrary to popular belief, we don't grow older, we grow newer, so she has the newest information on top of the all of the information that she collected from my experience over the past. So I'm just I'm glad to have someone with her experience and insight to shed light on facing shadows and why it's important that we really deal with this like head on and how we can face our shadows. Without further ado, let me bring in my guest, Miss Lewis Hollis.
Lois Hollis 02:11
Hello, thank you for that wonderful introduction. And you're so right. And so smart.
Harry Turner 02:22
Thank you. Appreciate it.
Lois Hollis 02:24
Well, you want to know what? Yeah, okay, you lead it. You're leaving.
Harry Turner 02:29
All right. So of course,
Lois Hollis 02:31
Lead me where I need to go.
Harry Turner 02:33
Lead you where you need to go. So let's let's begin with what is a shame guilt educator. What is what is the shame get out the educator and counselor.
Lois Hollis 02:42
Well, that's someone who was dying at 55 Because I had many, many broken bones and heart disease and leaky valve and my shoulders were pulled in like that, because that's gonna scoliosis so bad. And I couldn't breathe and okay, I found a wonderful, miraculous healer that helped me with all my broken bones. I had a very severe childhood problem, physical mental abuse, and that carries forward to you. And 40, 50 you go downhill or miss you like, "Hello, how can I help myself?" So that's where I was. And I was given maybe a year or two to live. And I really didn't believe all the three doctors that told me I was dying. Because now it's seven. I'm 78 now and I rollerblade with my grandsons. So there you have it. But the secret was recognizing there is such a thing as shame, guilt and shame and guilt. And this is new information is going to turn your head around and go. Oh my goodness, that makes sense. So this is why we've been suffering with this shame, guilt nonsense since Adam and Eve.
Harry Turner 03:57
So you're about to introduce the actual precise shame guilt concept.
Lois Hollis 04:04
Yes, sir. Okay, this podcast today on this
Harry Turner 04:08
podcast today. Y'all heard it first right here on is that so with Miss Lois Hollis. All right, here she goes.
Lois Hollis 04:15
Okay. Now, we all know about Love Energy. What does love energy give us joy and happiness, confidence. We can do anything. We never have a doubt. We are intuitive. We're loving. We're sharing. We don't have this bias. We're just love being because love energy brings us into all these different emotions, happiness and joy, or dancing or singing.
Lois Hollis 04:42
Then on the other side, we have shame, guilt, energy, negative emotion, negative energy. That brings us depression, anxiety, bullying, I can do it and I'm bullied I procrastinate. I'm angry. It brings all the negative emotions to us.
Lois Hollis 05:06
Now, I see depression and anxiety, anger, hatred, as symptoms, not mental illness. It's a symptom that you have Shame-Guilt energy within you.
Lois Hollis 05:20
Okay, different viewpoint, you don't have to go to therapy for depression and anxiety because I had more suicide and hatred and revenge and distrust, hurt. I said, "I'll be dead before I get all these emotions repaired." Okay, so that's what shame and guilt energy it's like a computer virus.
Lois Hollis 05:42
What happens to your computer, when you get the almighty computer virus starts slowing down. It goes berserk, like this doesn't work. And that doesn't work. But your computer works differently than my computer. Even though we get the same virus, right? I mean, my Microsoft Word will go when your hard drive goes. It's like crazy. That's why Shame-Guilt energy has been such a misunderstood because it affects everybody differently.
Lois Hollis 06:11
Okay, now, what do you do? When you have a computer virus? You get a computer virus removal program.
Harry Turner 06:21
I would get a new computer. I'm not
Lois Hollis 06:24
I'm giving you today. I shame guilt removal program.
Harry Turner 06:28
Come on! Okay, all right.
Lois Hollis 06:30
Okay, but because she can't say Oh, get away. We don't have that. We don't have that. I can say that to my computer. And this dumb thing still has as a virus. I need a computer virus free program. And you all of us need a shame guilt removal program. That's me. Okay. Okay. Yo, show. The Wire shame. Why do I say shame, guilt and that shame and guilt?
Harry Turner 06:58
I was wondering about that.
Lois Hollis 07:01
Yeah, we have two nervous systems. One is the conscious and one's the unconscious. But both of them work together to make us breathe and think and love and eat and be happy and sad.
Harry Turner 07:14
Are you talking about the autonomic nervous system? Yes.
Lois Hollis 07:17
Yeah. I try not to use technical things, because that's not going to help you. But thank you for being smart. Okay, shame, which is a different feeling than guilt. Shame is in the unconscious mind. And guilt is in the conscious mind. But it's the same energy. And this is where we are derailed all the time. Because, oh, I got to work on shame. I don't have save I have guilt. I have guilt. No, I have shame. It makes your brain split. And I'm bringing your brain together.
Lois Hollis 07:56
Okay. Now, why is it called shame and guilt, not shame, guilt. Because in the medical field, which I've been privy to forever, if I have a virus in my brain, they call it meningitis. If I have the same virus in my liver, they call it hepatitis. If I have the same virus in my lungs, they call it pneumonia. If I have the same virus in my kidneys, they call it nephritis. If I had the same virus in my elbow, they call it arthritis. Okay, do you see where I'm going with this?
Harry Turner 08:34
I'm picking up what you put now,
Lois Hollis 08:36
this Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of medical disorders. This is what they use to diagnose you with depression, anger, hatred, not whatever. We have 915 pages. Yeah, never once is Shame-Guilt mentioned. But it has 950 pages of symptoms.
Lois Hollis 09:01
Okay, this is like when it rains, I have water in my bathroom, and water in my kitchen, so I have to clean it up. And then next week, it rains again and I will get the buckets out and clean it up and then clean the bathroom out in the kitchen. And then I get a very brilliant idea. Why don't I fix the hole in the roof?
Harry Turner 09:23
Why don't you fix the hole in the roof?
Lois Hollis 09:26
And that's what I'm saying about Shame-Guilt Energy. Why don't we work on shame, your energy and spending all our time with the depression and anxiety and the hatred. And I'm not good enough and the boy and procrastination and eating disorders, sexual disorders, mental disorders. There's there's 915 pages of it.
Harry Turner 09:47
Understand that theory and of course I agree with him. So tell me why. How did you come to the conclusion that it's a shame and guilt that these are symptoms of shame and guilt?
Lois Hollis 09:55
Because in my 15-20 years of doing work with people, every . . . you can try this yourself. If you have depression or anger or . . . . Everybody's got something, we're human, that's when I like your humaneness. We all have this situation.
Lois Hollis 10:13
If you go back to, like procrastination, and you procrastinate, procrastinate, eventually when you deduce it down, deduce it down . . . . you are shaming yourself, you're guilting yourself by procrastinating Crusher, don't feel good enough to get that report out because then you'll be exposed. . . . . You can deduce every negative emotion down to "I'm not good enough".
Lois Hollis 10:41
That's pretty profound. That is amazing. And you can do it yourself. I mean, when you get off the show, and the people in the audience, think about your depression, and see where it is. And how did that happen. "Well, my mother said this and my husband said that and then I'm just depressed because I didn't get the scholarship and now I can't get the scholarship. I have no money. I'm just no good."
Harry Turner 11:05
So let me jump in here and ring for a bit. I loved I love being in the audience just listening to you and of course I agree with everything you're saying because we're in the same business here. Well, of course, I'm there I'm a therapist, so I do deal disorders and whatnot. But of course what you say that's, that's really my target. It's always been my target and shame I've come to understand it and again, through studying my own of course, it's it's amazing I come to notice who we are not in a space of darkness, this this space, the shadows, the shadows, right. And in that space, it's the mind doesn't know what we don't have full access to our truth in that space. And so the mind codes this place of mixed beliefs and unknown truths. It codes a with Shame so we don't look at it.
Lois Hollis 11:54
That you said the magic word. We are coded with shame.
Lois Hollis 11:59
Now I have that's why I became a filmmaker. I make shame guilt visible that you can see it is a thing. It's something a cloud that comes over you and all you do is you take it off. Shame-Guilt. Energy only has one flaw was that it dissolves in detection.
Lois Hollis 12:20
Now remember the Wizard of Oz Dorothy goes up the Yellow Brick Road in anticipation of seeing the all and powerful on she shaped Oh my in fear. Fear is shame. But fear is double shame is locked shame within you. Anyway, it's another story. But when Toto pulls the curtain back, what a start, they see.
Harry Turner 12:44
It's been about 15 years. what she saw
Harry Turner 12:46
a little old man bald and gray stooped over, cranking out a big big machine with smoke and the smokes coming out of the machine. And that's shame, guilt energy coming out. That's all it is a puff of smoke. We have been. We I want to diffuse the fear of shame-guilt. If I do anything today, it's the last podcast I did. They called it the "shame-guilt leech". Because it's like a parasite that lives off of your energy. We don't need us. But when we're small,
Harry Turner 13:22
say that again. Say that again. Because I think you froze for a second,
Lois Hollis 13:25
Shame-Guilt needs us. We do not need shame, guilt. We are human, we are God given we have a right to our power. Shame. Guilt can only push us into disempowerment and victimhood. And that's its purpose. That's another long story. But we do not need shame, guilt to never say my shame, my guilt, never never own the enemy. It's thus shame.
Harry Turner 13:53
That's good. That's good information. So I definitely own it in again, what you're saying is in alignment with the my own practices, I tell people it's about life of authenticity is the life of skillfully practicing living through your values and my values. That's my anchor. That's what lets me it always, it's always a clear route to who I am either I get lost in what I call the matrix, which really, the matrix consists of this illusionary world of guilt and shame. Well, we can continually sack nation and whatnot. But, you know,
Lois Hollis 14:24
We only have one enemy in this world. . . It's the Shame-Guilt energy. It's not your mother, father, the Pope, the president, your state representative, your kids, your mother, the father, the cousin, because everybody uses it.
Lois Hollis 14:38
But we don't know it. And this is why I call myself an educator. I'm opening it up and say, Hello, all these words that you use, all these words you use to yourself are shaming, but the culture taught you that way. We went to Culture School.
Harry Turner 14:54
Okay, see now now now see, I've been trying to I'm really been trying to sit back and just be alone. But now I got to jump in here and ask you this. So what is your opinion? We're gonna jump back on this topic. But when we read not getting off the top, we got to talk about young and shadows and shadow work and what that is and everything like that. But I wanted to ask you what is your opinion on toxic, the phrasing toxic people?
Harry Turner 15:16
Well toxic people, we live here in the world. It depends on your degree. Now. Everybody has shame, guilt energy, okay? It's not normal, right? That on your refrigerator shame, guilt injury is not normal. It's a parasite that takes my energy. Okay. That's step number one. Step number two is, we all have it. But some of us have this much. And some people have this much. And some people have this much as the world turns and the medical world goes, well, they're just a little bit off key. "no, they have a slight mental disorder." "No, they have a severe mental order." "No, they're incapable of living into society. Oh, they're toxic people?"
Harry Turner 16:03
Well, it's your gradation of Shame-Guilt accumulation, though, yes, there are toxic people that we sort of say, but it's because of the amount of Shame-Guilt we carry. That's what separates the so called "crazy" from just kind of, "not you", you know what I'm saying?
Harry Turner 16:24
I know exactly what you're saying, Let me tell you my stance on it. Okay. And you are actually saying it without saying it in that is that it's i How can I distinguish a term that's supposed to represent that you are some otherness, you know, if you are the same as me? so how can I call you toxic if I have toxicity within myself as well. So ultimately, if we're talking about the same thing, and we're talking about being human, now, just like any disease, the disease the virus can, will progress and then eventually overcome the host. Even then I would call that person a victim of their own shadows and pain and shame as opposed to some toxic person.
Lois Hollis 17:03
Yes, exactly. And you're very, again, I It's true. I'm not trying to be corny, but you're very intelligent to see that a lot of people can't see that. So now, with that in mind, I would like for you to write something. Now the people that are driving the car, please don't do this. But
Harry Turner 17:25
.let me get my cue card, let me get my cue card.
Lois Hollis 17:28
Please proceed. Okay, now, at the bottom of the pyramid, or whatever you want to call it. You put hurt. At two year old, I wanted my lollipop and they wouldn't get and we get hurt somebody said I get hurt. But it doesn't anger. It isn't hatred, you just get hurt. I just didn't like that you got hurt. So that's a little bit of shame, right? And then I start thinking, Oh, I go to people and I go, "Oh, I hope they don't hurt me. I hope they don't hurt me hope I'll be okay." Bam, I get shamed from the teacher. Again, you should have been better at doing that you can't read right or whatever happens. I was raised by the nuns so you know, I got a lot.
Lois Hollis 18:08
So now what we call that when I'm looking around who's going to hurt me? They call that word anxiety. And it's a bigger block of shame. Because now I'm anxious. Okay, okay. What's gonna happen? I'm Dorothy growing up the Wizard of Oz. Okay, what's gonna happen? What's going to happen to me I know something's going to happen because it happened before they get me again. My my, the kid into school hits me because I don't I have wear different shoes than she does. And she shames me, whatever. So now I'm, I'm just angry. I got angry because I'm a good person, and they keep throwing this stuff at me. But the anger now I'm got more shame, guilt, because now I have more punch.
Lois Hollis 18:50
Remember, Shame-Guilt and energy, my little punch, a bigger punch. Now I'm angry. I'm really angry. I'm so angry. I'm so angry. And I'm tired of being angry. And I just have to accept the fact that I'm just no good. Nobody's gonna help me. Everyone's going to hurt me. I am depressed. Depression is a larger amount of Shame-Guilt Energy. And that's true because what is the sign of someone who's been depressed for a long time?
Harry Turner 19:25
Lois Hollis 19:27
Yeah, but when they start getting angry you call it they're getting better.
Harry Turner 19:31
Right? When they start getting angry
Lois Hollis 19:34
well, because they're becoming more alive.
Harry Turner 19:37
Yeah, more and more motivation. Yeah, that depression sits you down and treat you the same same way as the flu. The body treats it the same way as the flu shut down. Yeah.
Lois Hollis 19:44
But but you shut down but so once you start getting, "oh, I don't like that person". That's a healthier attitude than just being depressed in bed all the time because there are people that are so depressed. I was depressed in bed for a couple of months. I know
Harry Turner 20:00
that feeling Yeah, I've been there before too.
Lois Hollis 20:01
And then I hate the world. I just hate it. Bigger shame, guilt. That's what psychology calls it "hatred" now, because it's not heard. Now you're hate, you actually hate. But that's more shame. More shame gives you deeper emotions, more violent emotions,
Harry Turner 20:20
I the way that I And just to co-sign what you are saying the way that I teach it is the deeper we go into The Matrix, the more tendency we have to fall into the delusion of "separateness". And in that space, we, we project more so the more lost we become, the more we project onto the other and say, You are the reason for my pain,
Lois Hollis 20:40
right? And the more shame we take on the more isolated we feel, because shame makes you feel isolated. Shame makes you feel fearful. Shame, makes you feel not good enough. Shame makes you feel I don't want to communicate, I want to stay in isolation. That's shame. And "I hate the world because it wronged me."
Harry Turner 21:02
And look, and this is this is what I find fascinating about shadows as well and not really accepting who you are, is that I can't give you this advice. I can't give you what I don't have. And so if I have a disgust for myself, and I refuse to stare at my shame, or stare at my gosh, shame, the shame Excuse me. Thank you. Thank you. The shame. parasite that is shame. Yeah, if I refuse to see that parasite, that is shame. If I refuse to look at it, I treat others I treat the shame that others bear the exact same way that I treat the shame that I carry, the parasite that I carry. If you're seeking a life coach, nocturnal therapist is the name and mental alchemy is the game. If you want to understand how to transmute transform and transcend these challenges in these challenging emotions, by me at the School of outliers at become an outlier.com/links. Again, that's become an outlier.com/links stay lit and agape.
Lois Hollis 22:14
I would suggest people say and shame over there, I can't do anything about shame but kick you out of me. You don't belong to make remember shame. Guilt only dissolves in detection and that's why we have been hoodwinked into saying shame is part of us.
Lois Hollis 22:34
No, it is not shame yield is outside of us. It's a leech, a parasite, whatever word you want to come up with, okay? You come up with a better word, please tell me that shame. Guilt is gone. And you will never ever, ever, ever get rid of guilt, until you get rid of the shame that's causing the guilt. So it all circulates around Shame-Guilt, you got to find it within you, and you can find it and you can release it. So after we have Hatred, the big one is Fear. Then we go into fear. And I think that's where we have "toxic people". but they're not talking they're not bad people. They just carry more shame. That's all that's all there is. There ain't no more.
Harry Turner 23:17
That's that's that's what I'm saying. That's why I take issue with titles I really don't like labels because when you armed the populace with labels, and it populace doesn't know how to deal with the shame that, the parasite that they carry shame, then it becomes this whole another weapon. And so now you have toxic people, now you have how to stay away from the narcissist, Now everybody is a narcissist.
Harry Turner 23:37
And the thing is that I know as a mental health clinician that, you know, narcissists, they were the least people who suffer from narcissistic personality disorder clinically significant features that manifest as that, they are least likely, one of the least likely populations to ever go seek therapeutic help. And so now you have this culture that is constantly talking about it with this negative connotation on it, bam, their chances of facing their shame, but somebody because they literally need somebody else. Use me the parasite that they carry, they carry the chances of them looking at that parasite because they're so afraid of it. . . it's eliminated. If I say this attack this, this, this, this, the culture right now is only going to produce more
Lois Hollis 24:20
it is and that's why I'm finally talking because 10 years ago, they go "we don't talk about Shame-Guilt because it doesn't exist." I go "that's the problem. You got to talk about it because shame guilt dissolves and detection." So when we talk about the shame, guilt, Parasite energy that comes upon us now, we can make friends with our inner critic.
Lois Hollis 24:48
Our inner critic is the Shame-Guilt producer inside of you, because he was taught . . . he or she was taught to shame you when you were two years old, so you didn't go off and run away from your mother, or fall on the cliff, or ride a bicycle down the hill when you don't have brakes, . . . . And so we needed that. But now it's your 40 and 50. And you have to say, where my inner critic is calls himself call sums. I didn't name him. I asked him what is his name, and he said, "King". Okay, so "King" is now living in the tool. 2022, not 1950. I asked him to come and live with me. in now, in the present. I'm a grown woman, I do this for a living, I learned how to shame words that other people give me and I go, when they're talking on the phone, I go, I don't want to take it. Don't take it. Don't take it, don't take it. And I throw it away. Now, it took me a couple years to figure out what to say in your words are because that's normal culture living, right. So
Harry Turner 25:49
that's, that's my, my, my approach to and again, I'm an Outlier. Ergo, School of Outliers. I'm an Outlier. But my my approach to even "triggers" I've always, . . . not always, let me take it back, as I come to understand, come to a deeper understanding of myself, I've grown to understand triggers as being the doorway or the pathway to a deeper, deeper understanding of oneself, because it leads to the shadows.
Lois Hollis 26:16
right, and the shadow is really where your most important aspect is. Now why can I say that? When you're a two year old? And they say, or a four year old? And they say, What do you want to do? I want to be an artist, or I want to be a musician. And the parents say, Well, you know what, you can never make any money on that. That's kind of stupid, why don't you go to college and get a degree in business and all that. So you are Shamed for your own (sacred power). They call it "Sacred Power", or whatever word they use. Now, we all have a very different gift. So our gift is always covered in shame. So we have to get rid of the shame. And then you find your true self.
Lois Hollis 26:57
It's just like a big blanket over you. And shame is a thing is that thing, you can take it off of you. And you go, Oh my god, I can't believe it. Shame-Guilt distorts our brain. It turns our compassion to depression. It turns our intuition to anxiety. It turns our passion to anger. we are ready, we'll already have been, we don't have to go take a course to find it. God gave it to us, we have to get rid of the blanket of shame. And then your emotions turn back to positive
Harry Turner 27:33
tomorrow. So shame when you look at the origin of shame. It means it literally means to cover up.
Lois Hollis 27:40
Exactly. That's it. So it's a black cover. I have I did a play with Shame-Guilt. And people cover themselves with a black blanket. And I do that they're in town, and they just take it off. That's all it is.
Harry Turner 27:55
I'm gonna be honest with you down here from the side. I'm afraid of white blankets. But go ahead, proceed.
Lois Hollis 28:01
But you know, because black is it's a shadow. Yeah, Shadow shadow. Say I can't say I discovered someone said to me, what do you do about shame, and I went, that's an odd word. I don't know what that means. So that's what I start looking and looking and finding out I had so much shame, I couldn't see shame. You're in a black room, dark room, and you somebody, and there's a dark thing in there you can see it because everything's dark. So that's why people can't see it, because we are so covered with it.
Harry Turner 28:36
And then that becomes the false evidence appearing real magnifying that shame and fear going back deeper and deeper into a fear state. I've said before we make choices out of one or two things love or fear
Lois Hollis 28:47
and fear is shame.
Harry Turner 28:49
There we go. It is the parasite. It is the parasite that is shame and it only grows and like a mirage, you know, I say I've said this before, but like a mirage, when we turn from that parasite, it grows bigger and stronger and more real for us. But when we turn towards a mirage, and we go closer near it dries, we draw nearer, and we realize that it was just a mirage. It dissipates. It was nothing. It was false evidence appearing real.
Lois Hollis 29:12
The curtain back and they see a little man puffing the machine with smoke. That's Shame-Guilt Energy, we have been taught to fear it. And when you're in fear, that shame, guilt energy and you it's not part of me. Now. What do you do? Well, I feel depressed. I feel miserable. So I get out my pencil my paper, and I say "hi depression. What do you want to tell me?" I talked to my negative self. I'm not talking to Shame. I'm talking to anxiety. And I have a person inside of me. "I don't give a damn." "Hi. I don't give a damn what you want to tell me today?" Because my emotions are good. I want to talk to my negative emotion because that's my superpower.
Harry Turner 30:01
OOOO WOO you and I, we will have to do a mini series. Because the when we talk about fear so much I know we don't have enough time to go over all of it today, but there's so much we can talk about, but fear. I've said it, I've said it before, you know that, that that energy of fear it. You know what? Let me let me go back. Let me go back for a second. Let me think about it what I want to say, but you continue, please come back to me.
Lois Hollis 30:25
Okay, if you can see a padlock inside of you, I have this on my film, right, the third, the third episode only 15 minutes, because we can do more than 50. And it's these days,
Lois Hollis 30:38
fear is a padlock inside of you. So you have fear from childhood from the teacher, the government, we get it from any place . . . .from ourselves. And that's locked in you because it's been like 10-20 years. And then now we're given fear. "If you don't do this, you don't do that." All this stuff that's gone and globally, it covers it more. So that's why fear is so intense. It's locked into you, but it can be removed when you know it.
Harry Turner 31:09
And then you do it anyway. Courage is the intentional . . .
Lois Hollis 31:13
is the thing but KNOWLEDGE. I'm given information, it's knowledge. We have been told untruths. I had a near death experience when I was a kid. So I think that's because I How did you come up? Well, I've always I started the first kidney hemo dialysis unit in the country have always been first doing things a trailblazer. So I couldn't believe nobody picked up Shame-Guilt needed to study because it makes it's everywhere and everything, and somebody had to do it. So that's what I did.
Harry Turner 31:46
Speaking on the shadows, and this is why my focus is that when we face our shadow, we understand why we understand what happened. And most importantly, we understand WHAT NEED WENT UNMET. And that truth that you speak about see that truth. That's why they say the truth I say the truth sets you free, but they I've been taught that the truth sets you free, it liberates you from what who you are not. Who are you not? . . . that parasite that is Shame.
Lois Hollis 32:13
Exactly. And we can call it out, we can call it a thing. That's what I want to impress today. shame, guilt. Energy is the thing that's outside of us. And it doesn't belong to humanity. So we can kick it out. It serves no purpose.
Lois Hollis 32:32
There's an agenda purpose on another layer. But for us, being human and being real, we kick Shame-Guilt out. And then we say "Hi depression, Hi anger, Hi I don't give a damn," then we can talk to ourselves. We don't talk to Shame-Guilr
Harry Turner 32:48
and as that fear as we are as we free ourselves from our fear because freedom exists. The fear, the fear, the parasite that is fear. Like we've got it, man, you got it a parasite as we free ourselves from that parasite, that is fear. We have more access to our truth and then we naturally shed off what is "inherited", and going back returned back to love or returned back to what is "inherent" to us
Lois Hollis 33:18
our original blueprint of love quest. It's there it is there. It's discovered up by the shadow. You're right. That's right.
Harry Turner 33:28
And so the shadow so for the for the shadows, shadows, it contains our our shame is the areas that I mean the parasite, look, I'm telling you, thank you do that every single time because I'm telling you, but by the end of this show, I'm gonna have it.
Lois Hollis 33:44
Okay. I've been doing this what 15 years now and I'm editing my third episode of my film. "I'm good film". And I say my shame. Do you believe that? Hmm. That was ingrained in us okay. So I'm with you man. So I had the editor take out that word.
Harry Turner 34:05
The parasite that is shame. Okay.
Lois Hollis 34:07
Yes. how your mind works differently now though. parasite that is shame. So you're actually separate . . . because it's all about the mind that they call this now and the mind hacks, and you got to change your wording. (Psychitecture) Yeah. The power side of Shame-Guilt does not reside in my body. Now I'm depressed. I'm anxious. I'm don't give a damn I have hatred. Okay. Let's work on it. We'll talk to it.
Harry Turner 34:34
Okay. I grew up and this is interesting. And this is why I talk about what I talked about because it's personal. It's personal to me, right. I grew up in I was pretty shy, and I carried that parasite pretty heavy early on because of my uniqueness. So
Lois Hollis 34:47
yes, definitely, again, and you're Sean Ford. I was I talked to angels when I was a kid. Do you think by now I had dyslexia so bad and I had stuttering because of all the brain traumas and I was shunned, I was called "a stupid idiot kid". They kicked me out of school because I was unteachable.
Harry Turner 35:06
Lois Hollis 35:07
Yeah, no, I'm serious that this school came to my parents and they said I am unteachable because I could not read. I had Aaron syndrome so bad from the all the brain traumas from the abuse that I had, and I pick up a book to read and all the words would move.
Lois Hollis 35:23
60 years ago, they didn't know anything about dyslexia. I wrote everything backwards, completely backwards. So the teacher said, "call my parents" and I remember I don't matter about my childhood. Remember this, they called her and my parents in and said, "Your child is an idiot, child. She cannot be taught, because she cannot read and she cannot write. But we are a Catholic school and we will keep her in school. But she has to sit at the back of the school. And we will not teach her because she is unteachable."
Harry Turner 35:55
Lois Hollis 35:56
Okay, that's true. And then when I got into University of Pennsylvania and college, which is an Ivy League school, I went, Holy mackerel, I'm a smart dude.
Harry Turner 36:07
Wow, yeah, yeah, look at me now.
Lois Hollis 36:09
Yeah, cuz I used to tap dance a lot. And I think the use of the right brain . . . help the dyslexia so much that I actually help heal the dyslexia.
Harry Turner 36:20
So anyway, long story. Oh, my goodness, this is this is awesome.
Lois Hollis 36:24
So that's where I came from. They called me an idiot child that's unteachable.
Harry Turner 36:29
Yeah, talking about being . . . brutal in their clinical assessments.
Lois Hollis 36:34
That's what I that's what they that's what I was labeled that. And you know what, it was a blessing, because they left me alone. And I just talked to God. So it was okay with me.
Harry Turner 36:44
My favorite on pain. He says "the pain is the breaking of the show that encloses your understanding. It is the bitter potion by which the doctor within heals your sick self." I know that my studies that pain makes us aware of a thing, which is why I know that it that we must face our shadows, because our pain always draws us right back to that space. It's calling us, like, release me, like, release me. And that's why I develop I've been writing this book over the years called "you don't have to be incarcerated to be in a prison" because many people don't understand
Lois Hollis 37:15
Oh Oh that's a great title.
Harry Turner 37:16
Come on, come on. Thank you. Thank you. It could be as many of us don't understand that the the worst prison that we can see the worst prison to try to escape from the prison that we can't see touch taste smell. It is a prison created and sustained by the parasite that is fear, that illusion. And what I noticed is that the more I had to the more embrace my journey, the more I had to face my fear. This right here, I'm terrified. The fear, the fear, excuse me, the fear. This right here, I never saw myself like could never imagine myself speaking and being in front of people and being on online to put myself out there and be vulnerable and this and that it didn't Be authentic while doing it. But this is the path. This is like my authentic path that I like is full of paradox. Life is paradox. And so this is my authentic path. I'm coming down now. And so literally to be on this path to continue on his journey. I had to face the parasite that is FEAR.
Lois Hollis 38:09
Yes, today and you got it. Thank you. Thank you. Give me hope.
Harry Turner 38:16
Look, look, by the time I get done, because I'm gonna think about this all through the weekend. I will I will change that verbiage and say the parasite that is fear or the fear but it will be externalized moving forward. It's just it's just everything we do as a practice whatever we practice we become so I'm gonna get that right. I'm gonna make sure that my audience that that my not only my audience, but my students, so thank you, my students, my life coaching students that they also externalize it as such.
Lois Hollis 38:42
And watch my film, "Imgoodfilm.com". It gives you the background more and it's animated. Everything's animated. So you can see see in is we only believe what we see. And that's why I became a filmmaker at 65. I was giving lectures like I'm talking to you and they go, Lois, I don't understand what you're saying. I don't see what you're saying. I say Can't you see that? And they go, no. Okay, there you go. Got to go to film school. Make a film so people see what I say. So what I'm good film that oh, Imgoodfilm.com
Harry Turner 39:17
film. Okay, let me change that up. Let me change that up.
Lois Hollis 39:21
Yeah, we know you're good, but I'm good film.
Harry Turner 39:27
I am good. film.com I love it. film.com Y'all go check it out. I am film. Imgoodfilm.com Okay, go check that out. Yeah, and you and I, I'm not done yet with you. But you and I, we definitely have to do something together. I'd like seriously we wanted to get together because this is . . . so many people don't understand and I focus . . . .
Harry Turner 39:47
When somebody comes to me and asked me, How long will it take to get through therapy? I say "You didn't get here overnight. So it's gonna it's a gradual process of course. course. But if you want to shortcut, we can take the shortcut. If you want to take now, again, you you, you're accepting the risk if you say that you want to take this shortcut, but we can take the shortcut starting right now on day one." And then most people, they'll take me up on it. And I said, "Okay, well, instead of the six months that will take for you to begin telling me the truth. Right now, right here. What are you ashamed about? What is the parasite that is shame, telling you about yourself?"
Lois Hollis 40:27
right. And they'll probably call it the inner critic, and they say, We gotta get rid of it. Our core inner critic is our friend, he is my best friend. He goes, he changed his job from criticizing me, he shows around the world to get podcasts he has. He wasn't my best friend before I start working with shame. But the third episode of my film discusses the Shame-Guilt, inner critic, but if you go into my "out of discord into harmony", it's 20 minutes of how to speak with your emotions and your inner critic. And some, some teachers and therapists are using it as an introduction to their work.
Harry Turner 41:10
That'd be using it as well. Using as well. And because
Lois Hollis 41:14
there's nothing like a visual, there's nothing like of the I talked for years. And they go, Oh, it's I don't know what you're talking about. And I got, oh, my goodness, I gotta go to film. And that wasn't easy. But I did. And I have a stage play of all our emotions talk and then the inner critic. And that's not out yet. But how cool would that be?
Harry Turner 41:35
Come on that, please keep me posted on that. And also, let me say Jung, I'm teaching, I opened up this year began teaching life coaching and I call it mental alchemy. And what I'm focusing on is, is three components the the personality, our strengths, our becoming one sidedness, identifying and one-sidedness and creating this balance between the four functions, but as you talk about, they didn't understand and so I became a filmmaker and, and how they called you, you idiot, and this and that, like professionals, like administrative stuff, and your child, an idiot child, like all of these things, these these experiences these painful experiences from the past, they serve as this catalyst of sorts sort of kind of like a coal, the process of a coal turning into a diamond, it, it creates and it becomes conducive in that moment of tension for the transcendent function, what Jung calls the "Transcendent Function" to come online.
Lois Hollis 42:37
Yeah, I have spoken with young men, therapists and so forth and so on. And they get what I'm doing more so than traditional therapy. But I'm not saying that that's all wrong. I'm just saying, any therapy that you do any work you do, you must put in the Shame-Guilt work, because you will do it forever and ever. I'm not saying your work is wrong. You just have to add the Shame-Guilt monster,
Harry Turner 43:04
there's books I have, I have books on it. But any therapist can go and purchase a book on Shame-Informed therapy, there's Shame-Informed therapy, it's one of the things that I teach or incorporate with my clients in my private practice. I'm gonna let you give your last message to the people. I mean, not the last message, but you know, the ending closing message. All right,
Lois Hollis 43:23
the best thing to do is to watch "Imgoodfilm.com". It's in three episodes of 15 minutes. And also visit my website, Loishollis.com. And there you will see the many podcasts demo on resources, and also sign up for my newsletter, which is 500 questions, one answer. Now as you would know that I'm talking about 500 different ways we shame ourselves and other people shame us. And that's important to know, because you have to know your enemy, too. So sign up for my newsletter, Lois hollis.com. And watch Imgoodfilm.com Bless you.
Harry Turner 44:07
That's not the last time you're gonna see her. Yeah, of course. I mean, this is this is so amazing the journey that you take in life, it's the synchronicity occurs so you're just doing naturally what you know that you're called to do, or at least in that moment, what you're told that you're called to do, and you don't need the physical evidence to show up yet but you know that you know that this is what you're supposed to be doing and then synchronicity kicks up and then you align with other people. I had no idea I knew that we had a lot in common, but after listening to speak my guests speak it's this is not gonna be the last time y'all see her. Y'all, if y'all have not checked out my freebie go to become an outlier.com. You get a free guide on facing your shadows and about repressed emotions. I want to put that out there by becoming outlier.com/links but please please go check out Miss Lois Hollis at Loishollis.com. m li s h o l l i s.com Loishollis.com And also Iamgoodfilm.com But I didn't even I didn't even look at that when it can I got that memorized already. Iamgoodfilm.com And we will continue to address I'm gonna bring it back on so we continue to face this parasite called "fear" and "shame" and "guilt". We're dealing with them. All right, y'all stay lit. Stay living in your truth and I'm out