Brandon Croucher 0:11
So I want to ask a question then. All right, a lot of us have, and I'm going to use terms that are very popular nowadays, but like childhood traumas and all that, and a lot of us go back and blame our parents, which I think is ironic, because the fifth commandment, no matter what version you're on, is literally Honor your father and mother. Now for me, I sat there, and I'm like, Look, my mom and dad, I was very, very, very blessed to have the parents I have, I'm gonna say that I was blessed, that my mom has a heart of gold. She does amazing things all around, helping people in volunteering. So when my dad has that old school men's mentality, but the thing is, a lot of people don't have a good relationship with their father and mother. How are you ever going to heal from your traumas? How are you ever going to be able to remember to love yourself, if the people that brought you into this world, you have a negative mindset towards, and you can't sit there and let them bring you down the entire time without them. Without that one night of anything, you would not be here, it doesn't matter who you are. Without them, you are human, and you are a miracle, by God, you have a higher statistic chance of being born than you do of actually being born anywhere else in the universe, because of the fact that we have no proof of it anywhere. You are one of 8 billion people in a universe that's so big that we haven't even seen a quarter of it yet. And you want to sit here and think my mom and dad were bad to me, my friends were bad to me. And guess what it takes stepping all of that back, Honor your father and mother by even if you disagree with them on everything, showing them how amazing you are by being your you. So Honor your father and mother by showing them who you are.
Jeff McKoy 1:59
If I can just add to that, and I totally agree, I know that not everyone has had the best experiences with their mother and father, according my faith. And as I as I believe is that in all things give thanks. But this is the Word of God concerning you. And when you talk about something concerning you, because there's, there's certain things that we go through this intended to birth, the next level of who we are, and sometimes those who came before us, they may be our mother, and they may be our Father, and they may have not been able to love you or or care for you the way that you may have felt like they should have they operated from what they had and what they were they weren't made, they may have not been able to fulfill their purpose. But if they didn't, their purpose was birthing, participating in the birthing of you so that you can do yours. And if you understand that, and if you can get to the place where you elevate beyond your pains and your sufferings, and understand that there was a purpose and what am I to get out of this. Now you can't, it's like things that happen to you aren't necessarily your fault. However, once you understand that, the the potentialities of things and how everything operates in connection that has a purpose in his own timing. And once you understand that, and you can tap into that you can accept responsibility for where you are, and don't use it as a crutch, to lay back and remain this functional or or non contributory. If it's so made a board or whatever to society, but you understand where I'm coming from. If you don't have to stand back and say, Hey, I'm not going to be my best, I'm not going to do my best because they hurt me, or as I've heard him say, they hurt me or he hurt me or whatever the situation may be, biologically speaking, but the point of the matter is, is that it may have been their fault. And they may not see it as having been their fault. But it but even if it had or had not, it's still your responsibility to sink, accept the role that you play, and how you move forward from where you are at this moment. Because you have a choice once you come to the age of understanding, and you can make and you know, right from wrong and you can make decisions, you say, hey, if they didn't, they didn't have to be right. However, I do not have to make every one of my children pay the same price that I had to pay because I got a different path I can follow. I can do something different. And I can become who I was meant to become, as opposed to just becoming another statistic that relies upon the setbacks of pains and struggles from the past that I can't change anyway, from back then.
Brandon Croucher 4:32
No, I love that. Well put well put,
Harry Turner 4:35
again, just synergistic flow. Yes. And it just flow. What I was saying. And add to that gentleman is in for those listening. Honor your mother and father by respecting them. Now, I know there's a conundrum there. How do you respect that which you consider not worthy of respect? This is where we have to remove some limiting beliefs. Oops. And get out of the mindset of worthy or unworthy. We honor and respect the fact that if they've been disrespectful or absent or harmful parents, that they can't harm you or could not harm you, without first harm themselves that they could not show hate to you, without first hating themselves to the nth degree. So accept the fact that they've chosen that for that journey on this life. honor that. And you honor it through acceptance, because you can't change what you don't accept radical acceptance is to observe what is happening without judgment. You see, when you remove your evaluation of your parents from the scenario, you can begin to see that, oh, this story is connected to their parents story. And that parents story is connected to their parents story and their parents before them and their parents before them. Almost like it's a generational curse or something. Let me tell you, this is why you are getting the knowledge that you are getting right now the mere fact that you can see further than they can is because you stand on their shoulders, if we see further is because we stand on the shoulders of giants. They didn't know back then what they know now, just like you are ever knowing anything that growing is dead. And we'll be growing to the day that we die. And so understand that many of our parents and our parents before them, they still lived in that eagle rooted fear based reality of the matrix. And in that space, they did not break the cycle of trauma. And so it kept getting extended down generation to generation, but you know better because you've come to break it. That's what you must accept. And you accept, through letting go. You accept through forgiveness, again, don't look at the colloquial understanding of forgiveness, because this world says one thing but doesn't understand what the hell are you talking about. So when you look up the origin of forgiveness, you understand it is to relinquish your desire to see the person that has caused you harm punished, if we give them by relinquishing your desire to see them punished. Yes, it is still punishment, if you care and resentment because Buddha said, resentment is like holding a hot piece of coal with the intent of throwing it at somebody else only person that gets burned is you accept the fact that it couldn't love you the way that you need it to be loved, except the fact that they couldn't respect you, because they didn't have it in them first, a person can't give you what they don't have. So if I asked for a cup of sugar, you got to have a first in order to lend it to me. And if your parents didn't have it, even though they may have wanted to give it to you. That's why they couldn't give it to you. I know they're suffering on the fact that they've lived a life of living and regret and fear and shoes wise, that's what wisdom is. Yes, you have the knowledge now. Now moving that knowledge, let go of the past the past is history. The future mystery today is a gift, which is why it's called the present. What will you deal with your president now?
Brandon Croucher 7:44
It's funny how you use a word and how, how quick it changes for people. You hear the word, like, be present. And you think of all I'm here, but it's not that it's a present. It's like you just said Harry. And it's funny how when you say a word a certain way, it changes how people think see things. That's the whole point of these, this conversation is building that mindset that changes though, so I just And Jeff, you got to admit that's why you call them Rev. You heard it right there. When he started talking. He like took a deep breath in. And he's like, I have to be honest, the first time I met him, I wanted him to record a bunch of like meditations for me just for myself. Yeah. He's gonna be brain and he's time to medical
Jeff McKoy 8:28
Jones and his voice.
Brandon Croucher 8:31
Then he's all calm, and he's quiet. He's laughing and talking with us. And then he switches over on it. Let me let me break this down
Brandon Croucher 8:46
I think the nail on the head with that though, and it wasn't a difference of opinion, Jeff, I didn't think it was at all I think it's saying the same thing. And just another form of it. And it's it's, you honor your father and mother to what Howard said, you literally they you're standing on their shoulders, metaphorically. But the truth is their knowledge only got them so far. And I'm not being mean to my parents. But I knew in seventh grade, I was smarter than my mom and dad, and had nothing to do with me being like, a smart ass little kid. It was I remember my dad looking at a spelling word going. Let's look this up. And I remember knowing what it meant and already how to spell it from school. And it's one of those where, at that age, we're not realizing these kids are leveling up at a younger age. We want them to stick to the certain things, remember, and they have to honor their parents because without their parents, there's no growth. There's no seeing the future without your parents. There is no number six already. added my friend.
Harry Turner 9:46
Let me honor mine real quick and say this. My oh and that's all our time. Just
Harry Turner 9:58
real quick my My father is the most brilliant man, I know my mother is the most compassionate person I know. And I don't know if I'll ever reach those levels of compassion, or even brilliance. But at some point, I decided that that wasn't the goal. The goal was for me to work and grow into being my most authentic self, absent labels, absent whatever I want it to look like. You'll see, at some point, you move from having even the greatest of people who are worthy of being your role model. At some point, you stop moving, you move from having a role model to deciding, I'm going to be my own role model. And I don't quite know what that looks like yet, but I'm working on it every day.
Brandon Croucher 10:45
It's Steve Harvey says it's like jumping out of a plane without a parachute. Sometimes you have to just know that you got to take that jump straight up. Come on, look. Alright, you ready? So this one, my favorites. So number six, all of them. You're ready for this Buddha's principles. This is number one, just so everyone knows. It says don't kill. Literally just two words don't kill. But yet in the Bible, it says don't kill another human, don't kill another person. You shouldn't murder, blah, blah, blah. It has many different versions. But the thing that I thought was really funny is why did the Buddhists start with don't kill? But then the second thing they say is, don't have any other gods before us. Why is that? Because you're not supposed to hurt any part of yourself. So that's why you see don't kill anyone. I took the any one part off and put part of yourself because the truth is, how many times do we let part of ourselves go for acceptance, camaraderie, teamwork, things like that. And we use justifications behind it, you have to know that your yes means yes or no means no. And that's why a commandment, like from religion, and all this is put in place is to understand why these words are chosen the way they are. So when you go out and you do things, are you being negative to yourself? Are you being negative to others? Are you turning around and saying things like this place is a shithole because then you turn around and you're putting that negative stuff out there, and you're putting out the killer words that break you down, and break others down. So you have to be able to know don't put the stuff out there that's gonna kill you, or bring you down or break down those around you. You're supposed to uplift, love and give compassion.
Harry Turner 12:24
Mm hmm. Please, please real, the real McCoy, the real McCoy like round, we just pass it around.
Jeff McKoy 12:38
Yes, it's Mike toss you talking about it? No, don't kill anyone. Don't kill any part of yourself. There's so many ways that we do that unaware. And so there's a reason why the word tells us to love our neighbor as ourselves. I love God, Lord, Lord your God with all your heart and love your neighbor as yourself. Because just understanding from the, as the Bible says law of sowing and reaping as other people say, or even out in the streets, they say that what goes around comes around the saying the same message. But the thing is, is that when you are are harming others, you are doing harm to yourself. So there is a direct correlation to how you show that love towards others as to what you will experience it experience because you are vibrating at a certain frequency. When you are sharing love, you are setting yourself up to receive waves of love that is to cast your bread out upon the waters and in many days we return back unto you and so whatever you putting out there, that's why even says the Justice mindset, the law because because even though it didn't talk about it right there that that particular point of even scripture, he was saying that, hey, there's a law of attraction, there's a law of reciprocity in place, and you don't have to get revenge because that thing that they did to you to harm you, it has to come back. It's law, it's principle, they have to pay for everything that they did to cause harm or suffering to another. And so you can show love to them and you can let go while they still have to reap the the repercussions of the things that they have put out there because they have to come back but we're not going to return void when you are choosing to love others can't nothing can really come back to you but love, you might have an occasional riff or somebody tries to come at you the wrong way. But somehow it either misses you or it doesn't impact your spirit, which is where your emotions and everything's are is anyway and and so it doesn't tear you completely down. They can yell out, jerk out the window because you you pass them on the highway in a way that they wanted to go. But you can say hey, it ain't personal. They don't know who I am they just throwing that out there. I can just let that flow away from it does not have to change my day does not have to change the way I feel Because I have the responsibility for how I see and how I interact and what experience I am going to carry with me as I go through the life as a part of humanity.
Harry Turner 15:09
Ah, yes, sir. Yes, sir. Do not kill any part of yourself. There was a man read so many years ago. And they showed, I believe it was monks meditating on three different samples of water. And the first sample, they asked the monks to focus on only negative things like I hate you, I wish you would die, so on so forth, they took it and froze it overnight. The second sample they said, clear out your mind and just be neutral, took it frozen overnight, the third sample or pot of water, they meditated, and they said only think high frequency. Thanks, I love you, I wish the best for you. so on so forth, you want to do great, and they took it and froze it overnight. What they noticed with the first sample were the next day when they took it out. What they noticed was the first sample with the water molecules, it was exactly what they expected on the slides, frozen water molecules, just frozen dots. They noticed what the second sample were, they were thinking neutral, not hateful thoughts, hateful thoughts. There were no organization to her just frozen docks, neutral, it began to form little patterns, like flakes that we see towards and this in during December, and we think the Christmas holiday commercials and whatnot, they started to form like little flicks, there was a pattern being distinguished and with the most positive meditation, the water molecules begin to form even more elaborate and beautiful patterns of flakes. And so the researchers were, were thinking if, if, if monks can do this with meditating on water for a short period of time, and we are made up of 70 plus percent water, what are we doing every day with our thoughts about ourselves, you see some yellow walking around with headaches, and I'm gonna prescribe as no therapy advice. But some of you are walking around with headaches because you don't communicate with yourself in a healthy manner. You're constantly judging yourself in the Body Keeps the Score. So you continue to judge yourself and put those poisonous thoughts into your energy, which then creates chaos and then that pain comes in the form of a headache or migraine. And pain is not there to judge you but to say I need you to pay attention. And wherever that pain is, that's what you need to be paying attention at what is the head center the head center represents the communication center, how am I communicating with myself? You see this is what the lit effect and life coaching this is what I teach my clients that lit effect this is what the lit effect about it's about understanding how to use these different spiritual tools and put them together the right place and time so that you can understand your plan of approach for any situation in any given moment. So if you haven't that headache, I'm I'm I asked you to look at your commute after you talk to your doctor because I don't give a no no medical advice. But after you get done with your dog and they give you a medicine come back to me and I'm gonna ask you what guilty thoughts have you been having? No guilt are you holding?
Brandon Croucher 17:51
Can we elaborate? Can we have some fun, please? Anyway, we hit then then look at what number seven is? Oh, come on. So controlling yourself what that means. So it says don't look at your neighbor and honor what you're basically don't want what your neighbor has right Jeff? Pretty close. Yep, don't call it your neighbor. Don't covet her. Why See, my neighbors covered my cat because this thing loves the hell out of me. You see this? She literally is around my feet or something the whole time I'm trying to get rid of her. She's no doubt your home. The thing is control your urges. And I mean that let's let's go back to the urge of being a man. For the first thing you think of is men think, Oh, you need to be strong. You need to be powerful you need to represent. You got to have a beautiful partner with you. You got to be someone that but then if what happens if another beautiful partner, someone that maybe isn't as good walks by, but she's prettier. You know what I mean? All of a sudden, this temptation comes by, you're not controlling your urges and you're not grounded in who you are. Guess what happens? You get distracted, you get distracted away from the person you are. The first thing that always will come about is sexual temptation when you are going to be sin when you're going to be tempted with sin. That could be from somebody sending you an inappropriate picture message. Oops on accident. So you go on social media and then Instagram is marketing to you. Or Tik Tok. I'll tell you what, tick tock after 10pm My tic tac turns into something crazy, like all of a sudden, all these girls are dancing half naked. Right And I'm sitting there going first off, where's your dads they need to beat you and take away your phone second off. Like they we lose sight of who we are. And I use this as men because we're men and none of us can understand what it's like to be in a woman shoes. But the truth is, if you're attracting a partner, whether whatever your partner may be if you're attracting a partner that you want to build with, that means there can't be any other partner ahead of them or anyone else that's going to distract you. That goes from relationship to the food you choose to eat. To the books you choose to the read to the stuff you're listening to in your car while you're driving. I talked to a guy yesterday and he's I literally turned off to PA started listening to audiobooks. And I got a good laugh out of that, because I thought, well, how old are you two pucks been gone for a while. But he's, he's the thing is, his point is change the station. And that doesn't mean oh, we're going to go from this to rap to heavy metal, it means you're going to stop listening to the things that maybe aren't glorifying to your body, maybe aren't helping you elevate out of that vibration that's negative for you, but is helping that needs to be controlled, and get balanced, so you can shoot up and become the best version of yourself. So number seven, control your urges. So you don't want to hurt any part of yourself. And it brings honor to those father and mother. Sorry, I'm going backwards up at now. But you see how it flows and why they are important.
Harry Turner 20:42
We go, Okay, I appreciate your brother. Yes, Real McCoy.
Jeff McKoy 20:49
He really, really nailed it. I mean, those thoughts are going to always when you're looking at your urges, it's going to be thoughts, it's going to precede them that are going to create those urges. But the problem comes in is that most people aren't aware that thoughts are real things. And they, they aren't aware that every thought that comes into their head isn't necessarily their own. And when you have been taking those tabs, I can go back a little bit further and gotten silent, to, to understand the real source that speaks to you. And that speaks to your heart, you began to recognize a difference between thoughts that belong to you, or does it belong to you thoughts that don't belong to you. Because the thing is, when we radiate those thoughts in the forms of frequencies and waves, they go out to the atmosphere, they go up into the air, and it's just like any radio station, they connect with similar thoughts, and they begin to multiply, the longer you stay on that station, they're going to get more, you're going to get more and more downloads until you change the station. So you have to recognize what belongs to you, and what does not belong to you. So if something comes to you, that does not belong to you, you have a decision to make, am I going to continue to stand here and listen to this particular station? Or am I going to turn the dial to something that's going to serve me and serve my life and serve my contribution to humanity and mankind? And when you make that decision, you recognize what's yours and what's not yours, then you can shut off that which is not yours, because you already know what's going down a path that's contrary to where you want to go. And you can actually redirect and say, Okay, I'm not so you have my attention over there. Because I'm not trying to send my energy over there. We know that where attention goes energy flows. So we want to send our attention to the direction that we want to go. And so we redirect our thoughts. So urges, and our tendencies will follow
Harry Turner 22:41
brothers. Okay, that sums up my Oh, yeah, I got it, I got it. All I had is the, I guess my perspective, which is in alignment with yours, is control says control your urges, and you put a list of examples behind it, but let's just stop right there will control your urges.
Harry Turner 23:01
The reason why we control is because passion must yield to what's prudent, your passions must yield to what's prudent, and how to you know what's prudent for you, or what's wise for you, or what's right for you, or what's righteous for you. It is in alignment with you. And so when you are out of alignment, and you are not in control, or managing or balancing your urges or your passions, you fall victim to mixed beliefs and mixed energies and understand that mixed energies and mixed beliefs mixed beliefs create confusion and mixed energies want to call them on for and coming together, storms are bound to happen. So then you create a inner storm within you. It's it's about aligning, and I'm just like, I want to get away from the condemnation because Jung says not to say that any one of y'all not one of y'all I felt the condemnation come from. But what I'm saying is a young for those out there who may be feeling some type of way I want them to understand that
Harry Turner 23:55
Jung says condemnation does not liberate and only further oppresses. And so I don't want to reject those parts of you that or have you be a model for rejecting those parts of you, that you push them into the dark because until the unconscious becomes conscious, it would wreck your life and you will call it fate. Your some of these compulsions or impulses, they represent a need going unmet, because when a need goes unmet for an extended period of time you go into a state of deprivation. deprivation is the pain of not having a need met for an extended period of time. And when you are in a state of deprivation for an extended period of time, you eventually lead to compulsion. Yes, I might choose a five star restaurant if I'm hungry, but if I'm homeless, and I go eaten for a few days or even a few weeks, that garbage can start looking a lot better. So recognize that oftentimes we are trying to meet needs and so when you give yourself compassion first and not judging yourself, choose to radically accept what's going on because you can't change what you don't accept. So first, accept what's going on. And then look at yourself with clarity and understand what needs on not being met ask yourself, What need do I need to meet right now?
Brandon Croucher 25:05
Well said well said well done