Harry Turner 0:05
Welcome seekers of truth to another season of his debt. So, here we embark on the journey together a quest not just for answers, for the right questions that lead us to the core of who we are. Season Four unfolds with many insights and revelations that challenge us to peel away the facades and meet our authentic selves. Let's be illuminated, transformed, and indeed become lit. The knowledge of our true selves, welcome outlier. What is happening out there outliers? Welcome to the newest season of Is that so? I am your host, the nocturnal therapist, and I have a very, very special guest. You know all my guests especially let me say that because you'll hear me say that often. But I'm very intentional about who I choose as guests because what intentionality reflects relationship. In order to truly experience what it is that you seek to experience, you have to first regulate yourself internally. And then intentionally respond externally. And that level of intentionality is the matrix or the mother that gives birth to transformational change. And so intentionality reflects relationships. So every guest that I have on this season, I've been intentional about reaching out to personally, I don't have any, you know, me, and today's guest is going to be a special one. I'm gonna give you a little background on his brother real quick. Joe Pomeroy. I just had to be dropped real quick. Yeah. Oh, I feel all that. All right. My guest Joe Pomroy. Let me tell you a little bit about this brother. He says and I quote, business came easy, but marriage and family did not bleeding, broken. Bleeding scuze me broken and live in a facade. It was time to decide what I really wanted. So I believe that this brother gonna have a lot to pour into us today. Let me go don't stop there for a second abruptly. No fade out abruptly. But the live in a facade, y'all know. I'm all about digging deep. I'm a deep sea fish. That shallow stuff. I can only stay there so long. So you know, I'm gonna tune into this live in a facade and exactly what my brother was talking about how you came to that realization and then how you got out of because I know that that's a sticky place to be in at once you've come to that realization. Y'all heard me mentioned liminal space before but liminal space is the tension that exists between here and there. You see, when you realize here no longer works out for you. And you know, you got to move to there. There's a certain level of tension that's there, a certain level of discomfort that's there. And it's in that space, you got to realize and tell yourself that salmons are they swim upstream, right? That planes fly against when not with it. And so you got to lean into your discomfort and follow with your intuitive awareness is telling you because your intellect is going to tell you keep doing the same thing that you've been doing because it sees backwards 95% of what we see in the present is constructed based off of what we've already experienced in the past. And so the mind scenes hindsight, but you're trying to see via foresight. In order to do that, you have to look at that insight from that intuitive awareness. And then bring that knowledge into your external via intentionality, because intentionality is the matrix of transformational change. Y'all know, I had to give y'all a little some some before I brought the guest on but, you know, looping it all back. So we're gonna talk about that facade, but a little bit more about my brother, before he became a coach. He helped grow an eight figure company from nothing, won an international competition for entrepreneurs, and earned his MBA focused on strategic development. And I have more,
Unknown Speaker 4:12
she said, So I
Harry Turner 4:13
became determined to discover how to succeed as an entrepreneur, a spouse and a parent. I spent the next 3.5 years and invested over $40,000 searching for a better way and I found it. Over the last decade, I've used my 3d framework as the foundation to help hundreds of entrepreneurs across the globe, not just in the country, but across the globe. To build the life they actually want with the family. They deeply love. Not only that touching, now, through sharing my personal journey and lessons, US outliers we can apply and receive the true value that keeps us coming back for more. So I'm gonna bring without further ado, I'm gonna bring my brother on the stage and we're gonna get it right in to it. Welcome to the is debt. So show. Welcome to the show, sir.
Joe Pomeroy 5:06
Hey, Harry, thank you so much for having me. I'm so excited to be here and honored to be able to speak to fellow outliers and carve this path. I love what you started the podcast with. I felt like when you talk about intention when you talk about transformation and all these terms, and it's like, Man, those things really resonate with me because it's, it's so true. And and I feel like I mean, I hope you all stay on. But I feel like you could turn off the show right now and just be had been lifted by what you shared. I hope I'm hoping everybody will stay on because I know we're gonna get into some more good stuff. But I'm just saying, Man, what a powerful start. I love it.
Harry Turner 5:41
I appreciate you're my brother. I appreciate it. Yeah, they they know that we serve and spiritual stakes around here, you know, so they know to come hungry, you know. So you know that. That was just the appetizer? I know. You're about to come with Andre. So, man, welcome to the set. Welcome to the IS THAT SO show? It's a pleasure to have you, brother. Thank
Joe Pomeroy 6:01
you so much. So excited. All right, man, I'm ready for the heavy questions. Okay,
Harry Turner 6:05
go? Well, well, well, we're gonna start off with a little salad, you know. Perfect. So, I have a few questions for you. Can you share a bit about your journey from growing an eight figure company to realizing that professional success was impacting your family life?
Joe Pomeroy 6:25
Yeah, absolutely. You know, it starts with so you talked about hindsight 95%, of how we view the present is based on past experiences. And that's absolutely accurate. And all my past experiences, said that my role as the man of the house as the husband was to provide income. And I needed to make sure I had enough bread on the table, I needed to make sure that we had the right clothes, the right shoes, the right car, the whatever, that that was my role as a husband, and that my wife's role she was to keep the home put together, keep the kids happy, keep life at home going. And so that's kind of what I when I went into marriage, I just, and I don't feel like it's because I was a bad person or because I had, you know, I was selfish or anything like that. It's just what it's just how I was raised. It's just kind of an the interpretations I took from watching my folks. And so you know, I get married, going to school, and I like, Alright, my jobs provide, I need to dive in and get my education so I can get a good job. And I can get that paycheck and provide that bacon. And that's what I did. And in doing that, I've partnered with my friend and his wife. And we started building up a company from nothing. And it was an in an industry that most businesses might do 500,002 to maybe three quarters of a million in a year. And by the time I orchestrated my exit, we were doing close to 12 to 15 million a year. So really exceeding the industry standard.
Harry Turner 8:07
But what happened is, is sign me up, Sign me up.
Joe Pomeroy 8:13
So I spent four years in college, get a degree in marketing, spend a couple years getting my master's, I've got six years of education plus all the on on the job training in this industry, right. So all this time and energy put into figuring out business, how did I communicate with clients? How did I connect with customers? How did I resolve conflicts? How did I build and lead a team, you want to know how much time I spent in school for marriage, not a how much time I spent in school for being a parent. Nothing. And yet, somehow, I think that I'm going to be able to go into marriage and parenting with the same skill set. Or like it's all just gonna come like business did. And that's what I ran into. And so I'd be a business man, I was a superstar people loved me. People loved hearing from me, people have talked to me, I can solve solutions. Man, you have a problem. You take it to Joe, because he'll help you figure it out. And boy, what a hero. And then I go home. And it's as soon as I opened that door, just whoosh. Daddy Daddy, oh, we need this. Oh, honey, I'm so glad to hear him. I have this problem. And we need to figure out this. And this just happened with the dishwasher. And did you ever talk so and so and I'm like, and everything I thought I was about a communicator, gone out the window, no idea. Try talking to my wife, Try communicating with my kids, you know, my two year old and trying to explain something to her like she's, you know, colleagues. It's just it just wasn't working. And so it got to where I didn't want to be at home. I wanted to be at the office where I was a hero where things came easy. I want to come home where I didn't have answers. I don't know how to handle things. And I was just Joe. I wanted to be Joe the hero. And it all came to head you know, so the pressure builds up. I mean, I'd get home. I'd sit in my car for 1520 30 minutes, not and I got to wear And I'll say that can be a good technique. I come home refreshed, take a few deep breaths. But Harry, I was doing it to avoid going in the door. It wasn't about letting go of what was at work, it was about void, avoiding going in the door. And eventually, that and just everything that I was hiding this pain, this frustration, this doubt and guilt, I felt guilty like that I didn't want to be with my family, I felt like there was something wrong with me that I'd rather be at work. And all that it just bill and one night, my wife and I got an argument about something that is so small that I'm not even entirely sure what it was. But it just it was It wasn't even that night, whatever we were arguing about it was everything that had built up, and ice exploded. And I turned to some cupboards in our upstairs pantry. And and I just And I'll be honest, this is an embarrassing story for me. And I'm ashamed that I did this. But I'm grateful for what I was able to learn from the experience by turn to this cupboard and with my bare foot. I just started kicking in the cupboard door. And I was just yelling, just angry to skipping in the cupboard door, my wife walks right past me in the hallway, she heads downstairs, and I stop, the adrenaline fades. And I can hear her getting the keys, grabbing her things and saying that's it, I'm done. And then as the adrenaline fades, the pain kicks up, I looked down, I've got a chopstick sized piece of wood sticking out of my foot. And she's headed to the door and I can't figure out how to get it out. And it's starting to bleed on the carpet. And I kind of hobbled to the top of the stairs because I'm like, is she really leaving like or is this just kind of a game? No, she's leaving doors opening. And it's this moment that I had to make a decision had to decide what do I really want? Because I wasn't to your point earlier, Harry, I wasn't being intentional with my family. I wasn't being intentional with those relationships. I wasn't being intentional with that time. And so now I was going to lose it. Well, did I? Is that what I really wanted? And I didn't know. Then everything kind of froze. Yeah, those moments and TV or movies, whatever. We're just slows down. Like that was real. Everything just kind of froze. And I started to remember why I got married in the first place. Why I wanted a family in the first place. And I started to see in my mind's eye, a future vacations time, laughter, joy playing games, taking pictures, traveling doing things. And it was no longer this empty space that it was when I was single. And like I said, Where's my lady who's who am I gonna be dealing with this, whether it was my wife, and I knew that I wanted her. But she's headed out the door. Now how to do something. And so I just as best I could bug got something out and it wasn't pretty. I tell you, you know, like Joe the communicator, right? But it wasn't pretty. And it was just a pleat, wait, Help, please don't, don't call, I need help. And she stood there for a moment. And I don't think my heartbeat at all. During that she closed the door. She came upstairs, she helped me get the piece of wood out of my foot. And then we sat there and said, Okay, what now, that's what started this journey, realizing that if I'm going to invest, you know, six figures into an education, you know, business career education, and six years into that six figures in six years, then Isn't it worth it to become that intentional, and how to learn to be a better dad, and husband. And that's how that journey started, my friend. Thank
Harry Turner 13:29
you for that sharing. Pain is the rigging of the shell that encloses one's understanding is the bitter potion by which the doctor within heals one's sick self. So drink the potion in peace and tranquility. As Khalil Gibran, the Prophet, I love I love that. And I broke it up. That's not the whole, because he has a whole, like, you know, but I picked up pieces just to make the point. But yeah, I hear that man. And I also feel that, you know, this, you know, sharing with you backstage, part of the reason why I'm transitioning is exactly what you said, you know, all these years of grinding it out grinding and grinding and our parents getting older, siblings getting older, everybody's getting older, and I'm getting older, and just work. It's been work. You know, it's been work. And so I know that I have to be intentional. All sometimes you have to oftentimes actually, you have to remove or desist from not removed, but the cyst, which is to change direction different from resist, which is to fight with, but change direction, and just where attention goes energy flows. And so it's like even though I can't, I don't I'm not really skillful, yet, where I'm going to I realize I don't know how to do it. But anything worth doing is worth doing poorly at first. And so I'm going to continue to do it until I become skillful at it because it's it's significant to me which significance by definition means it's worthy of my attention is worthy of my energy. So just as you were talking, you know, I was moved by what you were saying, and you know, just that the work life and missing so much of the family life. Like I feel that that's part of my current transition right now, you know. So thank you for that, Sharon. And it was several, a few of the Oh, one more thing. You said I am. If you don't mind me speaking here, frankly, because you know, as outliers, we like to keep a candid. You said, shame. You know, I'm ashamed of this. And I want to just say that, Carl Jung, he said, the condemnation does not liberate it only further oppresses, it's fine, I find it healthiest or most in alignment with just accepting that the inner conditions at that time were what they were. Because we don't see things. When
Joe Pomeroy 15:57
I say I appreciate that. And I think shame was probably one of the biggest things that I've had to work through it because it's this comparison, it's this measurement, it's a story of who we think we're supposed to be versus how I think I'm showing up. And so it's interesting, because, you know, I'm new to the outliers and new new in our connection. And so sharing this, like, this poor choice that I made. And I'm you know, it was a bad choice. I'm not a bad person, but it was a bad choice. And that it's interesting to still feel kind of this embarrassment about what I did come up. And so then to feel like I need to put qualifiers on it. I mean, I've told the story dozens of times, if not hundreds of times. And so it's something that that is just interesting, but I appreciate you pointing that out. Because I always need to be mindful of is shame creeping back in? Is something coming back? And if so, why? Like what's going on internally, what's changed that that's now having an impact again, so I really appreciate that. Well,
Harry Turner 16:56
the pseudonym is not nocturnal therapist.
Harry Turner 17:04
Yeah, man, um, you know, I am definitely tuning in to everything you're saying, like I said, you know, in vulnerability, nobody brought Brown, she talked about it. It's been a while as I listen to her, but I heard her briefly talk about how the importance of vulnerability and how that actually is a core component of true connection. I don't, I don't, I don't care for pseudo connections. You know, like, I want, like I desire authentic connections. My mission, you know, that I've said, pretty much every episode is to assist others in developing the audacity to live unapologetically authentic. And so authenticity, vulnerability is a part of that. So as you courageously shared, you know, that opened me up more, to courageously Share and Like failure. And Marianne Williamson said, As we are liberated from our own fears, our very presence gives others permission to do the same. So thank you for the permission.
Joe Pomeroy 18:02
Absolutely. Well, you started I told you what those are appetizer, you started that. I feel like that was more than just like a leaf salad that you know that the salad that was like that had some meat in it, maybe some chicken caesar salad or something. So we gotta wait to see what the entree is.
Harry Turner 18:23
It was one of those endless salads, you know, you could just, you know. Perfect. Alright, so my next question for you is, well, you talked about this already. See, I had a few questions for you, but that you already mentioned a turning point for you. But can you explain the 3d framework you've developed and how it has helped entrepreneurs balanced their professional and personal lives? Yeah,
Joe Pomeroy 18:47
absolutely. So use the word real quick that I want to address that's balance. And the way that I view balance isn't kind of historically how people view balance. I don't believe that we live on these scales of work on one side and family on the other, and I need to put in two hours to work and two hours to family. Like that's not balance. I think balance is more where we're at mentally, emotionally and spiritually, in terms of where's my heart? Where's my focus? Am I present? There's a lot of balance to be had. When if if somebody's working, you know, leaving the house at 730. So they can clock in by eight and then they're not getting home until six. And that's what they're doing to provide for financially for their family balance. The way I look at it comes in and says, Okay, what are other ways that you're meant to provide for your family is socially, physically, emotionally, mentally? And so what can you do when you get home at six o'clock? What can you do to be balanced in your time with them to be centered in your time with them and be present? So when I talk about helping others to find that balance, it focused As I'm becoming intentional with what I'm doing in my business or at work at my job, and what I'm doing when I'm home, so that I'm being intentional, which I don't think you knew that when you started out talking so much about intention, but I know you speak to that anyway. And so I love that. So the 3d framework basically stemmed from, uh, you know, you mentioned three and a half years, and I'm doing my wife and I were doing workshops and group coaching and group programs. And we went to counselors and therapists, and, you know, life coaches, and anything and everything that we could do, we've done, hold me tight program, which is a powerful program for couples, and I've read all Brene Brown Books, you brought her up, and like anything that I needed to figure out to figure out this home stuff. And it started to feel like it wasn't making any progress. It started to feel like I'm trying to learn a new language. And it was frustrating. And I'm sitting in this group session with these men. And I wasn't the only one that was frustrated. There was another guy, and he owned a pool cleaning company. And he's in there and he's frustrated, he's communicating something, and I go, I go, Hey, are you open to feedback? And he says, Absolutely. And I said, Okay, what if this was like, you know, if this was happening in your pool cleaning company in your business? How would you handle that with your employees? Oh, that's easy. I do data data data. Okay. So what if you were to do that at home? Oh, but my family is not like a business i Okay, well, so don't look at it from you know, the best leaders anyway, or servant leaders, or people that can connect and resonate with us. But don't look at it like that, like, what if your approach was the same? And what you wanted to communicate and how you wanted to talk about it and approach it and resolve it? What if you did that at home? And man, you can see the light in his eyes just being the light bulb goes off? And he's like, oh, and so I started thinking about it on the drive home. And I was like, how would that work with me? And then next group session, I tried it again, with somebody else who had did new business. Well, same thing. I thought, Man, I hear you. I think I'm onto something here. Obviously, at the time, I didn't say here, because I didn't know you. But you and I are talking now. So hurry, I think I'm onto something here. And, and so then I started to do it more with me. And I started to reach out to friends that I knew were struggling. And I said, Hey, I have some ideas do you mind if I kind of work through this with you? And they're like, Sure. And I realized the problem was, I was living a one dimensional life, I was living when I was at work. I was just Joe the worker. And it was anything and everything. When I was there, and there was no connection, there was no integration of my life, which is part of why when I'm spending 910 hours a day at work, and I'm not thinking or focusing or planning or preparing or anything with related to my family, then I get home. And it's just such a jarring turn. And so I was like, you know, I need to live more three dimensionally. I need to have better integration, I need to be able to use that. So that I know. I can plan, I can be intentional, I can prepare, I can do those things. And that's kind of where the 3d framework came from. Living a three dimensional life and the three B's are discover, decide and do. And they're based on fundamental business principles, things that companies do from the start to make themselves stronger and be successful. And it starts with Discover. And there's really, if there's one question that people can ask themselves, you know, if the outliers if y'all are going to ask this, after this call, the one question I would ask is, what do you really want? What do you really want? Because that's what it starts with. That's what I that's what I had to ask myself at the top of the stairs, is what what do I actually want? And we live in a time where sometimes we're made to feel guilty for wanting things. Or maybe we go to church on Sunday, and we're so and we hear oh, you just need to be happy with what God's given you and how dare you want for more. And we misinterpret this idea because so I you know, I believe in Jesus Christ, I believe in the Bible and if and outliers if you believe in anything else, hey, I love you. I respect you. Like, that's okay. For me, if I'm going to say that I believe in the Bible. And the Bible says Ask and You Shall Receive knock, and it shall be open to you. And yet I'm feeling guilty for wanting something like there's something off, right. So discover, it's about discovering your vision, or what it is that you really want. After that, you won't need to discover your values, okay, if I want this thing if I want this successful business, if I want a strong united family, if I want to be a true leader in my home, if I want to protect my family from changes in society and and things that I may or may not agree or agree with, then who do I need to become? Who do I need to become in order to achieve that? And that's where you discover your values values that are directly connected to and directly integrated with your vision and what you want Which means, which means Harry, that you are the outliers, you're not going to be living by anybody else's rules. You're not going to be living your life because well, this is who my dad wants me to be. Or because this is who my parents raised me to be, no, this is, who do you want to be? Who do you need to be to achieve what you want, and you define those values and those become guardrails. They help you in decision making. They help you, you know, I share more stories about that as we go, but they help you in decision making, they help you stay on track. And here's the best part, Harry, when you start living those values today, you're starting to live your vision today. Because this thing that you want that you see out in this future that almost feels so untouchable, you're now able to say well, to be that I need to operate with intention, that's going to be one of my values is to be intentional. Okay, well, I can start being intentional today. I don't have to wait until I'm making six figures are beyond, I don't have to wait until I hit my goal weight, or, you know, I'm able to bench a certain amount or whatever. Like, I can do it today. And then from there, and I'll share this one last part and then I'll stop talking for a second is you discover your why. And the reason you need to discover your why is because visions feel great when you're in your vision, right? Values, man, I know that's important. But it's really easy to say that you have a value to be charitable giver. And it's really easy to give charitably, when you've got flexibility of time and flexibility of finances. But what happens if you lose your job? Or what happens if some clients drop off of your list? And now suddenly, you don't have that flexibility of finances and that flexibility of time and you go, Oh, but one of my values is to be a charitable giver? What do I do? Well, you go to your why. And your why is why do I want that vision? Why do I want to have a strong? Why do I want to be a strong leader of my family? Why do I want to have a united home and you think you don't want I'm going to be a chair and whatever that is for you? And say, Well, I want it because I believe that's the true path to lasting joy. Which means I may not be able to give my normal charitable amount that I like to support financially, but maybe I can go volunteer at the soup kitchen, maybe I can give a smaller amount, I can still operate on that value. And I'm going to figure out how, because I know my why. So that's kind of the first part of the 3d framework. And from there, we build on letting go of the past so that we can move towards the future and creating a plan accountability and getting that resolve to do things anyway. Whether you feel like it or not on those on those certain days,
Harry Turner 27:46
huh? Yes, there's some fluid through there, man. I dig it. I dig it. Yeah, there was many things many aha moments that came up while you were talking. One of them I believe, that was Nietzsche that says that he that has a why can bear almost anyhow. So that's one of them that popped up. Another one that popped up was one of my favorite quotes by George Bernard Shaw, which says the reasonable man adapts himself to the world, the unreasonable one persists in trying to adapt the world to Himself. Therefore all progress depends on the unreasonable man. Yeah, yeah. So you got to get unreasonable because what is what is the alternative as being reasonable, or operating under the reason that you've been operating under, but if the reasons, if you've outgrown those reasons, then you're going to have to become intentional about moving towards a new direction, which is a deviation, which appears to be unreasonable to the logical mind, which is where the attention comes in between here and there, that liminal space. But that's where you tune into that intuitive awareness. You have the insight now, and you intentionally respond based off that insight, knowing that you must walk by faith, and not by with your mind's eye sees, because what your mind what your mind, eyes sees, is based off of your current logic. And Einstein said that tomorrow's problems can't be solved based off today's thinking. So you know that now is a moment for evolution. You got you have to evolve, you have to grow. Change is inevitable, inevitable, but growth is optional. So we have to choose wisely, you have to choose to grow. And so with that growth, you know that it's going to be uncomfortable. for a certain period of time, there will be moments where you just don't feel like doing it. But when you connect your daily mission to your values based intentions, your motivation gets turned on autopilot because you are living in truth. li te now you lit up and that's what I tell you You know, that's what I speak on it with the outlet community is that it's about being lit. Live in truth. When you live in truth, you're lit for life, because you're in alignment. And that alignment allows you to become embrace your power, you become more empowered in that space, because now is no longer about the external, you no longer slave to the external. Now you realize it's about this internal, and dealing with that internal and allowing that to continually to manifest via your intentionality externally, when you were talking about y'all trying all of these different things, you know, you and your wife, you know, this is the amazing thing about intentionality is that it's about the process. Happiness is not a destination to be reached, but the way we travel, and so the intent to know seeking, you shall find the intent to know that right there is what super energized and then your action behind that attend represented faith, by your faith, you're healed. That's all was necessary. Everything else was just a physical medium, for that be an exercise a testimony of what it is that you believe in are continually to intentionally respond to an in one day clicks, when the clicks have the one client and my psychotherapy practice, you're not one of them, but it's sort of kind of wanted, but in the consent forms, I have to ask them, or let them know that, hey, this may get worse before it gets better. And more than likely, it's going to get worse because I focus more on trauma traumatology. So with traumatology, you've been repressing so that you're numb yourself, typically. And I'm going to ask you to feel, and so it's gonna feel worse before it gets better. But don't, it's important to not pour energy into the way that you think right now, because your thinking is based off of the past. And now you have to have a vision, where there's no vision, the people perish. When you don't have a vision, you begin to perish on the inside. And so you have to have that vision to, which means you have to move to the right side of your brain and see something that is not there and begin to respond to it as if it was already there. intentionality reflects relationship, to move to the right side of the brain, you have to feel safe enough on the internal and so then you have to send to yourself. And in that level of acceptance, that happens, which then rushes in peace, you get more clarity. And with that clarity, you find yourself in a space where you can develop and cultivate a vision again, and then all it's needed for you to do is respond to that vision intentionally. And the more that you pour into that vision, just like water molecules falling down to the earth, the denser it becomes, the more intentional you respond to it. And until eventually it has to collapse from the realm of petsitting potentiality, excuse me, it has to collapse from the realm of potentiality into an actuality, intentionality eventually takes possibilities and turn those into an add in add up inevitabilities it's inevitable when you intentionally respond to it, you know, and it's gonna be frustrating. But somebody told me a long time ago and said it again and again and again, until I got it in my head that the race is not given to the Swift, but to those that endure it. It's about endure, and you have to be patient because love is patient. And when you look at the definition of patience, is the reservoir to hold pain or discomfort for an extended period of time without becoming dismayed only way you're going to become not become dismayed when you are holding discomfort is if you have faith, because what you've seen is gonna be all jacked up. I'm gonna stop right there. Come on, brother. Come on.
Joe Pomeroy 33:44
I love it, you know, as you're talking about that we talked about, because I didn't I don't think I realized different types of trauma that I was holding on to that were interfering with my ability to see my worth and my value. Perhaps that's why it took as long as it did. And it just made me think of sometimes how I have to rephrase the question, because I'll say, alright, ever, you know, y'all, it starts with what do you want? And so often I hear, you know, there's this limitation of you talked about present thinking, what am I thinking about presently? And well, a lot of times present thinking is that I don't get to ask for what I want, or I don't, I'm not allowed to want something else, because I just need to figure this out. And so there's this real limitation on this idea of creating a vision and can't not being able to switch to that right brain and seeing in the future. And so another way to look at the question is, if you were allowed to want anything, what would you want? So essentially, sometimes we need to give ourselves permission to dream permission to look forward permission, permission to make mistakes, permission to acknowledge that, hey, you know what, like, like the story I shared before, and how you know, sorry, outliers, I'm new and so I'm a little embarrassed to share this with you. Well, you know what, outliers? If y'all give me permission, I'll continue to be vulnerable. And so there's permission for each of us to be vulnerable permission. And Harry, I really appreciate that you do that with the introduction and how you how you lead your people, and to to give them permission to be outliers. Because how often does society say, oh, sorry, you're outliers, you just need to stay quiet. Outliers are meant to stay quiet, don't draw attention to yourselves, just do what you're supposed to do. Because we're all happy in our little insider bubble. And yet, with what you do with the School of outliers in the community and the work that you're doing, you're able to give people permission, let them know, you're allowed to be an outlier. In fact, big secret, you want to be an outlier. Because that's where the true growth is. That's where the true recognition, the opportunity to possibilities. And so but so the second D, in my 3d framework is decide. And I think too often we live by other people's definitions. Like I was living by someone else's definition of a provider. Now, my, my dad never came out, my parents never came out. Nobody ever came out and said, Hey, Joe, this is what it means to be a provider. But as a 10 year old, 12 year old, a teenager, I created a definition based on my understanding at that time. And yet now, you know, at the time that I'm making this transition, I was in my 30s, I'm in my 40s. Now, but I'm was in my 30s. And I'm still living by the definition that I gave myself when I was, say, 15. Like, that's silly. It's ridiculous. And so I had to look at it. And I needed to decide, first of all, first part of decide is decide your stories. I don't believe that life is a series of experiences. I believe that life is our interpretation of a series of experiences. And so there's experiences that happen when we're younger, and maybe somebody says something, maybe they don't, but we attach meaning to it. Quick story on that. I was about 10 years old. We're having a party over at our house. My brother had just gotten this Nerf gun. It was not the cool Nerf guns. You see. Now this was a long pink tube with a turquoise blue triangle handle that shot a single yellow ball. That's That's how fancy this nerve nerve toy was. And we're kind of shooting each other. My dad comes in he says, hey, you need to be more careful. You better not shoot anybody in the face. No, no, no. So okay, yeah, dad. Well, my dad leaves my brother makes a face at me. So naturally, what's the 10 year old going to do to his six year old brother that's making a face out of my pop them in the forehead with the Nerf toy? And he looks at me for shocked. I can't believe you did that. And then he kind of like sneers makes this face like, oh man, you're in for it now. And then as you might imagine, oh start screaming. Next thing I hear is Joe job. And I'm bolting it down the hallway because my dad is common for me. And I think in my little 10 year old brain, I slept on the top bunk, if I can get on that top bunk, and I can hide in that corner and pull the sheet over me just like when we have bad dreams. I'm going to be saved from those monsters I'll be saved for my dad, I'll be okay. Well, I didn't quite make it I got to the bunk he grabbed me by my foot and he pulls me down and I go doo doo doo doo doo doo on the ladder on the way down. And I'm trying to tell my story I it hurts. I hit my head, I'm having a you know, I hit my elbow, whatever. And my dad's yelling at me, and I'm trying to explain like he wasn't even hurt. And I just meant to shoot him. I didn't mean to shoot him, whatever my story. But my, my story. He wasn't listening. So I created this story around it. Now let me tell you the story I created and what my dad didn't end didn't say, I created a story that my dad loves my brother more than me, I created a story that I'm not as important in this family, as other people are. I created a story that my parents don't care if I get hurt. Parents, my mom was even in their parents. My parents don't care if I get hurt. And then I tried to tell the truth, or what I saw is the truth and he wasn't interested. So I also learned that truth doesn't really matter. And my dad never said any of those things. But that's the story that I created. And now I've got this 10 year old mentality and how I interpret my worth, and how I interpret truth and how I interpret where I fit in, in close knit and family relationships, and have been living my life based on the story the definition of a 10 year old. Now my dad, he, in my opinion, he acted poorly. He made mistakes. And that's okay, because I you know, should Harry I make a ton of mistakes as a dad. And I Paul, I feel like I apologize to my kids multiple times a day like Hey, Dad could have done that better. You know, we could go back and probably be better if I did this or that. But we're not all in a position to go and talk to whoever we have that story with and have that meet our need. There was I've talked to my dad about it and he and I laugh and joke about it now but he remembers it very different than I, and that's okay. But there's techniques and there's procedures and things that I'm sure you're very familiar with, where we can get the need of that 10 year old met by putting ourselves in the place of the 10 year old or, or whoever, you know, outliers, whatever story came to your mind while I was sharing that, think about yourself at that age, put yourself in that position, have a conversation with yourself at that time, and figure out what was the need. Because when you do that, and you address that need, you give yourself the freedom to now choose your own definition. You get to define your life, you get to decide what your story is going to be my story. Now, as I went through that process, and went through that healing, my story is now that I'm an essential part of my family, at all levels of my family, not because I deserve to be, but because I simply am. Which means I'm allowed to make mistakes. I'm allowed to be imperfect, I'm allowed to be goofy, I'm allowed to be serious, I'm allowed to be me. And I am valued and seen and heard. And I also know the truth matters. Which is why, you know, I'd always been taught being lit was a bad thing. But the way that you talk about being lit, I don't think there's any better option than the literal truth.
Harry Turner 41:11
stay lit, man.
Joe Pomeroy 41:19
But it's that living in truth, right? It's that gives the opportunity, but we can't do that when we're holding on to these unhealthy. I don't even want to call them lies. I didn't want to call them lies, because it wasn't a lie to 10 year old Joe. That was fact to 10 year old me. But there was something that needed to happen. And so I'm able to to reassign that story is that oh, well, Joe, you can't make up the truth. You can't change reality know how many people watched the Super Bowl recently. And if you were a fan of the 40 Niners versus a fan of the chiefs. I apologize. I know that's not now evergreen and people are gonna wait what Super Bowl is he talking about? Alright, okay, where but whatever team you are a fan of, I guarantee you saw the reffing different, you saw calls that should have been called that weren't calls that work, all that you don't think should have been dirty plays, cheap plays, stellar plays. But we all watch the same game with the same players and the same referees under the same time limits. And yet we see it differently. It's not changing reality. It's understanding that Harry, like you said earlier 95% of how we see the present is based on our past experiences. It's understanding that I have past experiences that are influencing what I'm seeing today. And so we can change that. You have permission. We talked about permission, outliers, you have permission to define your own life, you have permission to love being an outlier, to love who you are as an outlier. And to just blossom and grow and just be incredible in who you are. But it takes intention. It takes a process and it takes time. Which means we need to be patient with ourselves. It's a journey. Yeah,
Harry Turner 43:06
that's pretty much all I have to say. I know, there was several aha moments while you were talking. But yeah, the mistakes, interpretations, you know, you move from, you know, the negative biased interpretations to affirmations, the positive, you know, and it's not being pollyannish. It's just affirming. So it's not even being positive. It's affirming the truth, because, as a former guest said, when the truth shows up, the facts don't matter. You see, because we don't operate on facts, the mind operates on beliefs. And so the mind was never designed to know, but to be a thinking machine. And so the mind will interpret a fact we'll make an observation, and then interpret that observation, which may be a fact, and then come to a conclusion and confuse its concluded interpretation of that observation with the truth. And so the facts and sometimes the facts align with truth, but many of the facts many times, especially when it comes down to our personal pains, oh, our, you know, the real growing moments, I'll call them, oftentimes they don't align with the truth. And so as you become more liberated, you know, you get clarity, clarity is not just clear seeing it's the removal of that which obstructs clear vision. And so as you become clearer as those obstructions based off of previous erroneous interpretations, faulty thinking, as those are removed, you get clearer and clearer on who you are authentically. The interpretation, you know, even beyond even beyond that, you know, because I like to move. I'm more of a psycho spiritual guy. I connect the spiritual and the mental. And I read for me my, my personal philosophies is that the physical is a manifestation of spiritual truths. And so even beyond that, this me that we have this narrative around. Even science now confirms that there's really no me there. And so there's me that we're trying to defend is a projection of a me. And just like your projection projected a low frequency version of you, you can do the same process to project a higher frequency version of who you are based on actual truth. And then when that truth shows up, it alters the way that you interpret the facts from the past. So what you thought was true, you realize wasn't really true. It was just an interpretation. And then you keep having these experiences, thinking that you know, something, because the mind was designed to think and not know, you got to go to another place with a True Knowingness. So you were designed to think and not know what to keep on thinking and come to these conclusions, you keep getting it wrong, and and at some point, the wise end up saying, Oh, I truly know that I know nothing. When a hole of what it is that I know all the books that I read all the experiences I had all the people I spoke to, only does it confirm more and more, that the more that I know, the more I realized that I don't know anything, but I wouldn't design to know. And that part. For me, that's a transcendent realization, because I can stop trying to know. Yeah. I just surrendered the need to know, you know, that takes up so much about space. But But go ahead. I'm sorry. No,
Joe Pomeroy 46:55
you're fine. I was you just you're talking about this idea of, you know, being able to surrender that I need to know. And I think it actually reminded me of something you said earlier as well, that I think there's some distinctions for me that are good to point out. There's a difference from I need to know. And I want to discover, like, I think so when we hear this, this, I feel like essentially what you just said is, hey, I have permission to dive into discovery, and learn for the sake of learning for the goal of developing and becoming not so that I can figure everything out, not so that I can have all the answers, not so that pain and challenges and the unknown suddenly disappear. I think too many people take that approach with learning. Too many people take that approach with the obtainment of knowledge. And you said something earlier to where you talked about when you talked about change. And you talked about if you're not where you want to be, and I apologize if I'm not getting this quite right, if you're not where you want to be to go in a different direction, and we can move in a different direction. And the thought that I had when he had said that is absolutely. And it's important to understand that that other direction doesn't mean we're running away. When we when we try to run away with something we're still it's like, we're still on the same track. It's like if it's a train station, and we're training, we're locomotive, we're moving in a different direction, oh, I'm gonna run away, but we're still on that same track. Because we've got this thing that we're not taking care of, you know, I know. That's, that's what happens here. When I think people to decide what they don't want. I don't want this thing. And so I'm gonna go in this direction. That's totally different from knowing what it is that you do want
Harry Turner 48:44
the majority, just a second. Oh, wow. 1,000%. And I've said that, I've said that to our law community a few times, many times, that intentionality reflects relationship. And so running away from a thing wherever you wherever you go, there you are. And so they're running away from a thing actually represents a reaction to that thing. And so you're still being intentional about responding to that thing, by running away from it. So you are running away from you don't want and whatever you fear, you attract, because web attention goes energy flows. And so by the resistance of running away, you are pouring energy into that thing, and that is false evidence appearing real. And like any Mirage, when you run away from it, it grows stronger and more concrete in the mind, but when you move towards about leaning into your discomfort, because sailboats are safe at the harbor, but they were never built to remain dark. When you move towards that Mirage, it dissipates like any other Mirage freedom exists on the other side of your fears. Gotta lean into it,
Joe Pomeroy 49:42
gotta lean into it,
Harry Turner 49:43
you know, but that resistance again, I think it was Jon Kabat Zinn essay wherever you wherever you go, there you are, you got to deal you got to deal with you. You have to face you, you have to understand what that concept even means this you know, and all of the attachments like you were saying this story, you know, attach to these things. And my process, the lid factor, the lid effect, I have five lid factors. And the first step is acceptance. Because you can't change what you don't accept, and know it ain't gonna be pretty, but it ain't supposed to be pretty. Because it's natural. We look out in nature. And we think that we owe that nature's is we go into a jungle or forested area, and we say this is so disorganized. But everything was strategically in intimately plotted and planned to be exactly where it is. But based off our our mind, it all looks disorganized. And so we come up in here and try to organize something that's already organized divine me, you know, this is the madness that we continue to enter into. But when you can get back to the knowing when you can just surrender, the need to know, you know, from my faith. It says, The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want surrender the wanting, even the wanting, because there's another one and I know us and while we were saying the same thing, but we distinguish one from desire, because it also says, Delight thyself and Allah and He will give you the desires of your heart in the same book. So I make that contrast, because two want is to imply lack. And if I respond from an energy of lack, then I form an intentional relationship with that energy. And so you can't have what you want, because Oh, wanting produces is more want. But I noticed God no, Utah, my desires, though. And you have to see, I mean, it's semantics right here. But there's a different energy in the energy that you're talking about, is the same energy that I'm talking about with desires when you're talking about wants. But I wanted to distinguish that with a lot of people use a lot of people sit down, you know, and I know not a lot of family know, everybody on the outlier, you know, this, listen to this go getters. But some people will will sit on that, you know, wanting, I want this, I want this, I want this. If you just change up the wording from I want to I choose this whole different energy. And all hypnosis is self hypnosis. So even if you still sitting on a couch, switching from I want to I choose and you say that enough times, you will Hypnotize yourself into knowing that you've chose this that this is my choice. Indian, you're going to intentionally naturally respond to it because you've hypnotized your mind into a new new scenario. Now, that's what a whole affirming is. Because we're always hypnotizing ourselves into these new projections, or these current projections based off of the past, but the past is for reference, not residents, we don't live in the past. You know, we don't live in the rearview mirror, you'll get into a wreck on the interstate. If you're always looking in the rearview mirror, you got to you know, you reference it, you know, for safety purposes, but you live looking forward. And so you have to look forward. And it doesn't matter whether you're skillful when you desist and move into a new direction, because again, anything we're doing is we're doing poorly. So even when we stumble, we still stumble forward, the game has already rigged life conspires in your favor. Except that to that is not all on you that life conspires in your favor. Man. I had like 1000 more questions. I had 1000 more posts, man. I'm just gonna ask one more time. I'm asked one more. You got it. Okay. Oh, man, so many good questions. Okay. For listeners who feel they're on the brink of having to choose between professional success and Family Harmony? What advice would you give them?
Joe Pomeroy 53:41
Well, I'm probably gonna have to rework my answer, because you're talking about want versus choose is just kind of rocked me, like I made a note to myself, I'm going to I'm going to stop asking people telling people like, what do you want? Because in that moment, on the stairs, it really is what was I willing, what what was I going to choose? What did I choose, and I chose my wife over other things. You know, I grew up, you know what we're going to outliers, we're gonna go for it. I'm gonna give you this story. I don't necessarily share this story, because I don't want to throw shade on anybody else. But I don't think it is shade. But anyway. So growing up, me and my family were all pretty close. We struggled financially. And we had some relatives that were doing really well, financially, but they struggled in their family. And my parents would say things like, you know, if we have to choose between family and wealth, we'll all choose family every time. And you know, just things like that over and over. And so I grew up with this idea that you can have financial success, or you can have success in your home with your family, and that it was a choice and that to choose one meant sacrificing the other. And so to those that might be looking at it and saying, Hey, I'm having financial success, but I'm losing my family and I need to choose one or the other. What do I do? What I'm going to encourage you to do is to open your mind to the positive ability that it's not a choice between the two. It's a choice between how you're showing up now, and how you will choose to show up in the future. And so to look at, to look at, well, let me actually, let me rephrase that Harry. And I have got real
Harry Turner 55:17
quick, real quick hold that thought Yeah. And I also want to add this to it. So also, for those who are working constantly not succeeding, not, you know, not making the money that they want to make. So not only they mess up and family relationships, but they broke too, which is not broke. That's not affirming. It isn't negative. That's it as a present state, we are not broke, we are overcoming financial situations, you got to speak in an affirmative. So about those who are overcoming financial challenges in messing up with family. So but I think what you're saying, with the balance, I think your your about your answer is going to apply to both audiences. But please, yeah,
Joe Pomeroy 55:55
yeah, absolutely. No, that's an important clarification, because it makes sure that all of us outliers are listening. And not just those that think they don't, oh, well, I'm not having financial success yet, Harry. So you know, I don't need to listen as part No, it really is for all of us. Right? And so it's, whatever, whatever it is, that from where you are, if it's not aligned with who you hang on, I gotta figure out all these different want questions now that we've got want and choose, man, that's, I gotta figure that out. But I'm going to keep using want for now. But if y'all outliers will give you a little grace and understand that I'm working on rephrasing my terminology now. And that it will be on the same page that, so to be able to say, alright, where am I at now? And where do I desire to be? Right? And so and I think that, for me, when you're talking about want desire, I feel like the true difference is our heart versus our mind, our heart versus where we coming from the deepest parts of our soul, versus our mind's eye, and just seeing what's currently around us. And, you know, because you might want, there might have been a time where you wanted a 2010 Ford Mustang GT. And now you look at it like, well, is that really what you want? Because that's 14 years old, now, 14 plus years old now. So
Harry Turner 57:15
which is 20? Full version?
Joe Pomeroy 57:17
Right there. So it's, I think, want to, I think how I'm processing right now is want looks at the surface, the material, the immediate desire is the deepest parts of our soul, and the things that matter most. And so whether you're having financial success or not, whether you're struggling with your family or not, what do you desire, and if what you desire is different from where you are, then you can look at your past for the purpose to propel your future. Now, I appreciate Harry a lot of things that you've shared. And, man, I tell you, I think anybody out there that gets to have you as their psychotherapist and the things that you're doing. I know you're moving away from your practice and stuff. But what a gift and blessing because you have this mentality from let's look at the past. So we know how to move forward. I feel like there's too many therapists and counselors, and I've encountered at least from what I've encountered, and stories that I've heard. It's the let's focus on the past. And it's all it's all about the past. But there's too many coaches that are out there like, oh,
Speaker 1 58:18
Eric, let's just your vision on Forget the past is just your vision. Where are you going? Where
Joe Pomeroy 58:22
are you going? Where are you going? It's like, Look, I can't get there, because I've got this huge weight that I'm carrying. But it's easier to let go of that weight when I know this hope and this light that I'm moving towards. So if you feel if any outliers, if any of you are feeling like I'm stuck, there's a choice in front of me. I don't know what what to do. I'm not where I want to be, then the first thing to look at is what is it that you desire? And then how did I show up yesterday? What's one thing? What's one thing I can do today, to show up differently? And start with yourself? Start with the words you use with yourself. Start with what's a word that holds you down deserve? Man, hurry, that's a word that that's just been difficult in my life deserve. So that might be a word that I would start with. Okay, what how have I been defining deserve Oh deserve, I have to be worthy. I have to earn it. i It's a decision that I make on when I'm there. Is that serving me? Well, because if it's not, that'd be a great one, to choose my own definition to What does deserve. Deserve is something that we receive, that is given beyond any merit we can achieve on our own deserve is based in this eternal nature of our energy and our soul and what operates at our core, the higher power that surrounds all of us, whether you believe that to be Jesus Christ, a different god, the universe, energy, whatever it is that you want to label it as, maybe deserve as attached to that, and now that means there's something bigger than whatever it is that's holding you back. Outliers. There are bigger things available to you than what's holding you back. And if you believe in that, and you just just give your self permission, just to just to want to explore just to want to tap into that next level. And it does. I want to say one more thing. I know we're going long here, but I will say one more thing. We just keep talking for hours, everybody this is gonna be we're gonna do a 24 hour session here. Some hydration. Let's go
Harry Turner 1:00:29
doing a telethon.
Joe Pomeroy 1:00:33
Those phones folks. Oh, so, actually, you know what, it's let me see what happens with the here but that's okay. It's gonna
Harry Turner 1:00:44
come right back to you. Because I'm gonna tell you what you were saying that again, you reminded me to put this up yet. But the Lindy effect is about 2024 was about the veil of elevating perspectives from eye level to Sky level. That's, that's what it's about. And that's what my brother's talking about moved from eye level, the sky level. So Eye level is, is in I know, you're changing that terminology. But I understand what you meant when you say wants want. Want is tied to survival, survival being a scarcity mindset, your mind is only concerned with survival. But if you're familiar with Maslow's hierarchy of needs, or any other hierarchy of needs, to get to the belonging to to get to that the esteem to get to self actualization do have some steps to overcome to move through in survival is just a basic so know that your mind looks for familiar ality because it seeks out safety, even if the safety, it looks like hell to you. But if it's familiar, and it's safe, then your mind is so crazy, that it'll tell you to stay in the familiar safe because at least you know, this devil better to stick with the devil that you know, because no matter where you go, and you're gonna see a double, right, wrong. That's a predictive hop. That's a prediction, that's a hypothesis, even if there is a double wherever you go at. Understand that we have attention goes energy flows, it has power based off of the energy and attention that we give to it. If we Deesis not resist to resist, we got to fight with it. So that's why whatever you resist continues to persist. But we desist. We choose a new direction, and we move in that direction. Now we're pouring energy into that new direction. from a scientific standpoint, bringing it from a spiritual scientific standpoint, you're forming new neural algorithms, new neural pathways, and we know that the mind likes to go down the path of least resistance. And so you're going to have to continue to be intentional about forming these new neural pathways until that becomes an interstate highway, and then it becomes the pathway of least resistance, not abroad from the spiritual and and brought it to the to the mental. Now let me bring it to the physical. Bruce Lee said, there are three stages of mastery. There is the natural, undisciplined, and then the second stage of mastery is the unnatural discipline. And in the third stage is the natural discipline, the unnatural discipline, use of martial arts, a fighter goes into a fight and swings wildly, they're doing what's natural to them, but it's undisciplined to any discipline fighter, they will go into the biggest undisciplined fighter and knock them clean out. We've seen videos of that on YouTube, I know I have at least. And so then move into the second stage after you get you behind with enough, which is the unnatural discipline. So for martial arts, let's say Taekwondo, you choose to do taekwondo, you choose an art form, you realize that you're going in there as a white belt, but you got to move through the belt, white belt, yellow belt, Green Belt, blue belt, red belt to black belt, in because you're being intentional, and everything that you do as a practice. And whatever you practice becomes a program. Now you're being programmed according to that new way of operating, at least in that fighting space. But this is true for everything and physical manifestation of spiritual truths. And so you know that this is the longest stage and you have to endure through this stage because the race is not given to this whip, but to those that endure it, that you have to choose to endure, and you have to have faith in order to endure, because why would you endure that level of discomfort that you got to put yourself to that stress on the body, if you love lifting weights, you're still putting stress, your body don't like that too much, you're still putting weights on the body, but it's just when you know what your pain has a purpose, it feels differently to you. And so you got to know that the pain that you're going through the discomfort that you're going through, as you move from here to there. It has a purpose. And so you lean into that discomfort, because love is patient. So you have to love yourself enough to be also patient with yourself. So you stay in a second phase becoming disciplined doing what's unnatural to you, but you know, what's in alignment, and so you're becoming disciplined, and then you become a black belt. And now those neural pathways are formed the interstate highways, and that becomes the path of least resistance. And so you move into the Self Mastery phase of the natural discipline. Now, you don't even have to think about it that 110 1,000th of a second response that you're typically doing a negative now it's in the affirmative, it's in the positive. It's in alignment now. And now you don't have to do much thinking about it. It almost feels odd. matter you're still being intentional, but it requires much less energy now because you've discipline yourself again, everything that we do as a practice and whatever we practice eventually becomes a program you've programmed yourself now to be in alignment. All of us are born tabula rasa and out of alignment, all of us need tuneups in alignment and you're gonna need tuneups for the rest of your life. So know that to anything not growing is dead, and you'll be growing into the data to transition. I have nothing more to say, brother, but I'm gonna give the you know, please let the people know where to find you and all that good stuff, man. I'm gonna step off the stage for a second. Just just talk to our live crowd. Man, I wish we had more time. You know, no, no, no, take it back. We're gonna do this again. We shall. So this was the time that we shared here. I'm grateful for it. Extreme gratitude for but I'm gonna step off for a second I'm gonna step back on but please let the people know how to find you and whatnot. And whatever message you want. Leave them with,
Joe Pomeroy 1:05:53
you got it? Hey, I'm so grateful for the time, thank you outliers for honoring me with time to be able to connect with you and speak with you. And Harry, thank you so much for making this such a place of learning and opportunity. So I did remember the final thought that I feel impressed to share. And I'll share this and I'll tell you where you can find me. Everything that Harry just talked about. And on my end, Harry had said something earlier about that sometimes it gets worse, it usually gets, you know, quote unquote, worse before it gets better. And a lot of that's because we are living by definitions we don't want to live by and we're holding on to we're living in lies rather than living in truth and keeping it lit. Right. And when those lies when we discover what those lies are. That's where the freedom comes in. The pain is having to face the lies, the pain is having to face these definitions that are not in a lot in alignment with who we choose to be today. And so we can turn and face those. And that pain, that discomfort that is temporary, it is small, and what is available to you everything that Harry offers you everything that Harry's offering in the outliers community, what's available to you, as an outlier is so powerful, and you face the pain that is momentary to discover the power that is enduring. And that power is in truth. I'd love to connect with anybody you can find me on most any social media platform at the Joe Pomeroy, I also have a free gift for you that you can get at forward with joe.com/so free s o free. So that's forward with joe.com/so s o free, you can go there and check out their different resources that we'll have available for you just as a way of honoring you as outliers and honoring all of our friend Harry. So thank you, Harry so much for having me. I love the time and chat with you. You make it so simple, my friend. Thank you.
Harry Turner 1:07:52
Thank you I really much gratitude man. For real for I appreciate your blessing the stage and outline. The links will be at the bottom for y'all that he shared verbally. So please go check out we'll get that freebie. Come on. Now who doesn't like free 99 Come on. You can't really beat that, you know, but go get that freebie. You know, check them out. Clearly, you know, y'all gotta y'all saw how he flows. Y'all saw the vulnerability that he brought to the set. And this is what it's about living authentically. iron sharpens iron. And so it's important to align yourself with authentic people, authentic organizations, groups, institutions, that alignment will help to keep you in alignment with your truth. You know, that's it's really and that's what I'm realizing more and more now. And that's why I'm talking about family and transitioning and whatnot. I don't have any kids but it's my wife and parents getting older and my siblings getting older. But it's it's really about getting around being around surrounding yourself with that energy. That constant remind you because your mind is going to want put you back to sleep. The mind is that Sandman you know it just keeps you select slapping you and putting you right back to sleep send you right back into the matrix of survival. But survival is based off of just the basics that has nothing to do with your desires. So to survival comes from the mind and like my brother was saying the your desires they come from your heart. So you move from your head down to your heart and you realize that that's the entire healing process. That's the entire journey. And the longest distance any of us will ever take is the distance between our heads and our hearts. So again, thank you brother outlier community thank you all for listening I appreciate y'all please like this episode share this episode let people know about this episode. Let people know about me let people know about my brother let your grandma or Bob or whoever else know the priest whoever the people know that there's some authentic people out here that have some good information some good food from the eat on. So again, bless y'all appreciate y'all mad love it. Respect and now stay lit. As we continue another chapter of Is that so? I hope our journey today has left you with more than just thoughts but a call to live intentionally, live intentionally deeply, authentically and truthfully. The path of self discovery of Self knowledge is infinite a labyrinth where each turn reveals more of who we are and can be that this conversation be a lantern in the dark guiding you back to yourself time and again, until we meet next outlier. Continue to seek question and live in the profound truth that defines your existence. Agave and stay lit. They've been true
