Harry Turner
Welcome seekers of truth to another season "Is That SOO?" Here we embark on the journey together a quest not just for answers, for the right questions that lead us to the core of who we are. Season Four unfolds with many insights and revelations that challenge us to peel away the facades and meet our authentic selves. Let's be illuminated, transformed, and indeed become lit. The knowledge of our true selves, welcome outlier. What's going on my people what's going on? Welcome to season four of Is that so? Remember that is that slowness is about equanimity. Equanimity is the ability to remain calm and serene, in spite of being bombarded by stressors. So no matter what you're going through in life, no matter where you're at in life, know that when you switch from eye level to Sky level, when you move from that snapshot view to the panoramic view of life, then you can make sense of even the discomfort that you're going through, and then that makes it more digestible. So you can lean into that discomfort, because planes fly against the wind now, you got to be an outlier. You got to choose to lean into your discomfort knowing that freedom exists on the other side of your fears, knowing that your fears have no idea how strong you are. I have a very special guest every time hold on a second
All right, I'm gonna cut it out. I'm gonna cut it out. Let's get serious here. But not too serious. So I have a very special guest and we were talking backstage and is there's a there's a synergistic connection with this sister, and I'm so glad that we collided regardless of how we collided. Yes, she's a guest on his podcast, but just energetically there's a reason for the collision. And so I'm grateful to have met her but y'all gonna get a treat today. So today we have Melanie Oliver. Now, I didn't ask if that's the way that you pronounce the last name. You know, I'm I'm from the States. So that's how we pronounce it. Melanie Oliver. But he could have something really exotic like, you know, either D or I'm gonna let her get on stage and and correct me if I'm wrong, but we have Melanie Oliver. So let me tell y'all a little bit about Miss
Melany Oliver
Oliver.
Harry Turner
She has a Bachelors of Science. Sounds like it's a honorary I don't know there's an H O. N S on that. I'm not quite sure. The I would think it's like on or something really high, something like highest. But a Bachelor of Science and complementary therapies focused on Health Sciences from the University of Westminster London. Yes, I reached out across the world for this one. You see, because there's no barriers with energy energy doesn't acknowledge that this this thing of space and time distance that's an illusion when it comes down to energy all right. Prior to this, she also completed a vctc diploma in complementary therapies at some college I'm not gonna even attempt to pronounce It's like no, I will. It's solely home solely all at a college in Birmingham, and was nominated as a Holistic Therapist Student of the Year. Like studious, I found a quite studious one y'all. Y'all know I likes my studies now. Hold up. There's more. There's more. Since our graduation she continued to learn more tools and techniques to further develop her skills, attending numerous training and seminars including NLP. That's neuro linguistic practitioner wait Norlin No, sorry. Neuro Linguistic Programming practitioner which I also have a life coaching certification in. Oh my goodness, hypnotherapy practitioner, y'all know my heart centered hypnotherapist is crazy. Not let me just read it. So since graduating, some of the skills and trainings and seminars include for this sister, Neuro Linguistic Programming practitioner, hypnotherapy practitioner, Fung Shui practitioner, you meet at Fung Shui in your life, reiki master in teacher in young psychoanalysis seminars, amongst many other mind body and energy healing technique show no I am getting excited more and more as I read this. And but she started a career as a holistic and complementary therapist. She was in more than that. natural approaches to healing including aromatherapy, cranial sacral therapy shiatsu. Reflexology looking at environmental stress lifestyle, Reiki sports massage therapy and other holistic therapies to treat clients with all sorts of conditions. This is This is wild, y'all. I gotta come on. Okay. Calm down air. I have been working as a holistic therapists spiritual guide. Why? See what I'm saying using my language. It's not it's a shared language is a universal language. But there's a lot of key words that are being used, that y'all know I resonate with. So she's been working as a Holistic Therapist, spiritual guide and emotional healing coach for around 15 years now. After a decade of working with hundreds of women and noticing how emotions affect people's health and impact their life. She now specializes in helping women who suffer from deep emotional wounds, emotional wounds, y'all, and are wounded by their childhood traumas, and past negative relationships, helping them to heal themselves and open themselves to love so that they can live a happier, healthier and more fulfilling life. Again, Matt alignment. So let me just read the the model that I pulled, which is, this is Miss Oliver. She says, healing doesn't happen in your head, it takes place in your heart. Now, outliers. How many times have I said, moving from I love for the sky level because this year, it's about remaining in truth. It's about living in truth. It's about moving from I love with the sky level, which means you move from your head down to your heart sky levels in the heart. Life is paradox. You see, because the mind it's located in the head and thinks that it should be the lead because it's located in the head. But it sees in hindsight, my foresight, so a more appropriate place for the mind really is where the assets located. All right, let me bring my guests out on stage.
Melany Oliver
Set for the set. Thank
you. I'm excited to be here.
Harry Turner
Ready to have you on since the so did I get any of the accolades the accomplishments? And can you tell the crowd about the H O N SS honoree, right? Okay, yeah, honors, you would like Excel. Excel is way up there just on top of the class. Everybody was mad at you, because you messed up the curve for the entire class I gave
Melany Oliver
was very studious. And you know, because I loved it. And I was so passionate about it. I didn't really I think I missed probably a handful of classes when I was sick or something. But as you know, in every every class, studious, loving every lesson. Yeah. Because I was doing what I loved. You know that yet at that age?
Harry Turner
Well, welcome to the set. I really appreciate you coming through to bless the set. I just want to take a step out for a second and let you introduce yourself to the people. That's okay. Sure,
Melany Oliver
yeah.
Hi, I'm Melanie. I'm a Holistic Therapist and an emotional healing coach. I've been doing this for, you know, over 15 years now. And yeah, this is what I believe in. I believe that emotions is the language of the soul. And it's the only way to heal permanently, and grow and evolve spiritually. And this is what I teach and share with my clients.
Harry Turner
So I have a Do you have any questions? For me before I begin asking you all of these questions? Is
Melany Oliver
there anything else you'd like me to share about my background? Or we're gonna get into it?
Harry Turner
Well, let me tell them tell us the audience because you're giving me a little bit about the traveling, you know, where are you located? You know, that's, yeah. Where are you located system.
Melany Oliver
Right now, I'm in Mexico. And I basically came here on a dream. I had a dream that I was living here. And for the last few years I've been wanting to get out of Dubai, because that's where I grew up. So I'm all over the place now. And that's where I was where I was located before. But everywhere that I tried, I tried going back to Brazil a few times didn't work. I didn't want to stay in England after I graduated. I tried Germany, I tried Costa Rica, and like nothing was really working. So I would always end up back in Dubai. And then last year in May, I had a dream that I was living in Mexico and San Miguel in particular. And it was so real and actually what I saw my dream happened in reality. And yeah, and few months later, I just needed to work out some legal visa stuff and then I'm, I'm here I am. And I'm living here trying it out and it feels like it could be my potential new home.
Harry Turner
Hmm. I see some synchronicity happening in your life. Yeah, this is nice. This is nice. You said it happened in the dream. It always happens. When it's in alignment. It happens we're pulling from, we're pulling something from nothing, but it doesn't come from nowhere. And and when we get those insights from the heart, you know, there's something intuitively we can't really logically explain why. But there's something intuitively that's telling us go this direction.
Melany Oliver
Yeah. And it's amazing how when you talked about synchronicities, how everything was just flowing, you know, and everybody was trying to tell me all these negative things, oh, you're going to Mexico is dangerous. And oh, you know, they sometimes they'll give you seven days, you know, for the visa. None of that happened. I got 180 days, the guy didn't even ask me they stomach didn't even ask me any questions. I met some amazing people on the plane. Everything was just sort of flowing beautifully. Am I yeah, I'm, I'm in alignment for sure. What I'm doing here, but this is definitely where I'm meant to be, you know,
Harry Turner
you are in alignment. The Mote the model for this season is living in truth. And so I just changed up just a little bit for the questions I wanted to ask you. But let me begin with this one, reflecting on your journey. How has living in truth guided your path to becoming a Holistic Therapist dedicated to emotional healing?
Melany Oliver
So going back before uni, I remember not knowing what I wanted to do. And I remember asking my father, actually, you know, what, what should I do? Like, I actually don't know what I want to commit to for the next three, four years, I'm going to be studying something that has to be something that I love, right. And he turned around to me and said, Well, then don't go, you don't have to go next year, you know, you can take a gap year and work and explore and then decide, and I'm so grateful that he gave me that advice, and that he was so supportive in that way. And my parents never really forced me like to be anything or to you know, you have to study this. And they really kind of left me to figure it out on my own. And so I took a gap year, and I worked for a little bit, save some money. And then I went traveling, I went to Thailand, I went to Cambodia when Sri Lanka went to Brazil. And in my travels, while some of my I was with some friends and some of these places, and they were doing like other cooking courses and stuff, which I wasn't interested in. And instead, I took some holistic courses and aromatherapy and Thai Yoga massage, and you know, natural medicine. And when I went to Brazil, I also studied Reiki when I was 18. And that's when I realized, wow, I actually really like natural medicine, anything to do with like natural, holistic healing. That's what I was drawn to. And that's when I realized, oh, maybe, maybe there's some courses or some more academic courses and, you know, holistic therapies. So then that's when I started to search for, you know, degrees and holistic therapies. And that's kind of how it happened. However, like, since my graduation, like, I studied a lot of different types of tools, techniques and holistic therapies. But since then, I actually don't use a lot of it. Because what I realized is that, as you mentioned, there was emotions, that is keeping people stuck. And these tools are helpful, but it will not necessarily heal you on a soul level. It's processing your emotions, and really doing the inner work as they say, that is going to break the pattern permanently, you know, because then if you keep using tools, you're just going to have to keep using more tools and multiple more tools. And, you know, it's kind of like, when you take a pill or a medication, I doesn't really cure you. But what I discovered moreso from my own healing, and also what I noticed, like the pattern that I was noticing in clients was that the people that were healing and breaking patterns were the ones that were processing emotions, and the ones that were not, were just coming back for their quick fix. You know, they wanted a Reiki session because they wanted to feel good. They wanted a little bandaid for the next three months. And so when I noticed that and when I started to do my own inner work and have breakthroughs emotionally that's when I'm like right this is the real stuff like so then I started to focus more on emotions and really just dedicating my time and energy to understanding emotions,
Harry Turner
energy in motion emotions, what you're saying yes. Until the unconscious becomes conscious it will direct your life and you will call it fake. Yeah, exactly. Some more alignment, some more alignment. Call youngest my dude. That's right there. You know the way that his mind operates. You Many of my theories early on before I knew he was he, yeah, very a lot of alignment were young, but the, what they would call shadow work now. And there'll be another name and another time, but it's all introspection and all goes back to the unexamined life is not worth living. So you've got to understand that these emotions that we're carrying this energies that we carry, and they're trapped. Emotions is energy in motion, but then we trap it, it still remains in motion in us, but it's trapped. And so the motion that it remains in is a self sabotaging one. Yeah, exactly. Again, says not for us. But please, yeah, please. Yeah.
Melany Oliver
And like for me, I think I said in the beginning, I really believe that emotions is the language of the soul. It's how we learn. We are emotional beings, there is no other way. I mean, I spent 10 years, trying all sorts of things. Obviously, I'd have a degree in this. And I'm sad to say that I don't use any of that anymore. It's just for me now. It's the way is through emotions, and feeling it in the body. And obviously, like, as I mentioned, and as you quoted me doing the work from the heart, not from the head.
Harry Turner
I said, that's, that's the that's what you have to do. The longest distance any of us will take is to just tween our heads, from our heads down to our hearts, and also have a certification and heart centered hypnotherapy. Oh, wow, awesome. Yeah, that's one of my one of my certifications. So even though I'm not providing therapy advice on here, you know, y'all know, we asked you to put a disclaimer down, but a licensed clinical social worker, Cognitive Behavior group therapist, Certified Clinical trauma professional, somebody other credentials are in integrative health, integrated mental health professional. And I have five other coaching certifications, life coaching certifications outside of the therapy, but I say that those, those letters and everything that's for other people, that's not for me, you know, because I'm not a title, I'm not a role, you know, Rose, ego, the ego likes roles. And so a lot of people get puffed up with these, these letters, and these roles, these titles that they can go into, and because other people believe in roles, it feeds this, this false narrative, that that a person is a role and that role should be glamorized, and glorified, and pushed up above other roles, and this and that, all of that is illusion. But what my titles and roles allow me to do is express who I truly am on the inside. That's it, it's just a mode for me to express who I am, you know, so I'm always gonna be who I am, no matter what the title is, you know, I can name myself garbage collector, the poet, the garbage collecting poet, you know, and I'm still gonna be me the same thing I would bring to a therapy session, you know, as a psychotherapist or as a hypnotherapist, you know?
Melany Oliver
Yeah.
And also, like, for me, the most important thing is that you do the work. Because I see, I've had clients who are, you know, psychiatrists, psychologists, who were struggling with their emotions, and who didn't really understand their emotions and who also had blind spots. And what I found in my journey is, like you said, you can learn a lot of things intellectually, but that doesn't mean anything. It doesn't mean that you know it in your heart. Yeah, with the knowing that comes from doing the work.
Really? Yeah.
Harry Turner
Yeah, how many? Again, the mind has many functions. And thinking is one of those functions but not knowing. Yeah, so it thinks and interprets and confusing and confuses its conclusion, which would knowingness but it could never truly know. That's why Hindsight is 2020 not foresight. And so when you move down to your head to your heart, from your head down to your heart, from intellect, to an intuitive awareness, now you're truly seeing and you truly knowing that's true knowing
Melany Oliver
heart
Harry Turner
can happen at the head, you know, can't happen at the head. We, we know a lot of things from a practical standpoint, or are we entertain concepts in the mind, you know, but this this, this is limited to what the mind can understand which, at its best is is built for us to keep us alive and safe. But being alive is not the same thing as living earning a living. It's not the same thing as living to spend your life earning a living is truly a dying. Yeah,
Melany Oliver
absolutely.
Harry Turner
You know, okay, let me let me get into the these other questions. So in your practice, how does the concept of living in truth influence your holistic approach to helping clients navigate through their healing? Wow,
Melany Oliver
that's a great question. Living in truth is everything because then you're like you just said you're not true. Living, you're just acting you're, you're in a facade, your or your origin, trauma response or whatever else. But a lot of my work is about aligning or bringing the clients back to their truth. And firstly, it's about accepting their truth, because a lot of clients are stuck because they don't accept the truth. Basically, they don't accept the truth about more often than not about the dynamics, the emotional dynamics that happened in their childhood with their parents, because that's where all our patterns come from, right. So the first part is about becoming aware of that truth, which is to the mind, the second part is accepting it emotionally. Because you can know the truth in your mind. But it doesn't mean you've accepted it in your heart, right? So that's the emotional work, and that's processing the emotions and all of that. And once they start to do a lot more of that inner child healing work, then it's really it's much easier to bring them into alignment with, you know, living in truth now, but yeah, these are just some sort of basic steps. But it's all about truth. You know, me, the way I see it, like healed the essence of healing is, again, not about tools and techniques. It's about how much truth you can accept emotionally in your heart. That is, the more truth that you can accept emotionally, the quicker that you will heal,
basically, the freer you become. Yeah, exactly. Exactly. Well, that's
why they say the truth sets you free, right? I believe that most people don't feel like themselves, and they don't feel like they're living their lives because they're not being true to themselves. It's really that simple. Not living in truth, they're in denial about what happened in their past. They're suppressing their emotions, which again, means you're not in truth, right? You're, you're in denial or resistance, against reality, against truth. So yeah, it is all about eventually living in truth and really being your true self and the world, which scares a lot of people, right?
Harry Turner
Yes, yes. And in this talk to why it scares people and how to get through that. But But what you're saying I just want to just cosign, which is saying that you need a cosign. But yes, you know, either you deal with your trauma, your traumas, deals with you, period. You know, there's no, you know, the, the mechanisms for dealing with it, according to the ego is suppression and repression, suppression and repression, escapism, and expression. You know, this is where you see people constantly lashing out at other people, you know, but these are self sabotaging ways of coping, you know, and honestly, it's, we're locked in certain, we use internal family systems vernacular, you're locked in certain parts. And so again, you're locked in a fragmented way of seeing life, you're locked in a snapshot view of life, that's the reason why you can't really see all the possibilities that are available for you, is because the part that you're locked in only allows you to see one version of life. Just because you see a ditch and I see a rose bed doesn't mean we're not standing in the same yard, we have to change our lens. Perspective is typically a projection, it's a projection of what's going on with us internally. So at a specific given a time when we're unhealed, the internal conditions have not been met for us to truly see the way we could see with clarity, that higher frequency version of our life, but that's why you have to lean into your discomfort, and move from high level to Sky level, you have to move from your head down to your heart. And when you begin to examine that lean into your truth, it's not as scary as you think it is. You know, again, I've said this before, but false evidence appearing real and like any Mirage, when you lean into fear, it begins to dissipate. It's only when we run away from it, that it begins to become more cemented and concrete and online, but we made it much bigger than what it is because we are fearing it. And because we respond in fear, we pour energy into that Mirage because we have attention goes energy flows. And so intentionality reflects relationships if I'm intentionally running away from a thing that reflects that it's real for me, and that's why whatever you fear, you attract,
Melany Oliver
correct. And then it just becomes worse, doesn't it? Your law of attraction becomes worse, because remember those emotions, and they want to be released. You know, your soul is always seeking to heal yourself and seeking the best path. So if you run away from this fear now, then something bigger is going to have to happen for you to really look at it and face it to get your attention again. And that's how people just keep staying in patterns because they don't face whatever it is that they need to face. And the path is walking through the fire, right? It's about facing stuff constantly, every day every day. looking at yourself and facing whatever shows up for you,
Harry Turner
what if I'm afraid to see myself,
Melany Oliver
you have to feel that fear. I think a lot of people are afraid. One of the core wounds is that we're afraid that deep down we are bad, you know, we are unworthy or evil or and that's, that's the nature, our nature, which is not true. It's just often we were programmed or conditioned to believe that we were right. But from the way that I work and what I understand now, whatever it is that you feel, let's say fear of seeing who you really are seeing what what's inside there, that's what you'll need to face first. Like, that's
what we need to feel first. And so, so I
can, in order for you to get past that. So that would be your block, right? Because if you feel feet, seeing yourself, then you know, parts of you're going to hide from yourself, you're not going to see yourself if you don't want to this whole path is really about your will and your desire. So if you fear, fear, fear seeing yourself, then that's the first thing that you'll need to face and feel before actually seeing yourself and seeing what's down there.
Harry Turner
Oh, yes, yes. You know, I'm just playing a little bit of devil's advocate here. Tell me how, you know, I mean, me, but you know, do I need a guy in order to do this?
Melany Oliver
In the beginning, I would say yes. You know, eventually, once you've done enough of your inner work, then of course, there are things that you can do yourself, it really is about your desire, like I said, and courage and, you know, being sincere and having humility and all of that. But in the beginning, honestly, everybody needs guides, right? Everybody needs support and help, especially if you don't know what you're doing, you know, if you, if you don't know what you're doing, as I say, any road will take you there, and you're going to be stuck there for however long. So I would recommend everybody in the beginning of their journey to get help and support. And eventually, you know, you can do your own inner work once. Once you've once you've grasped the foundation, right, and you have a stronger inner core. And it's when you can catch yourself in those moments and, you know, really face your shadow or you know, the ways the subtle ways that we sabotage, you know, ourselves.
Harry Turner
iron sharpens iron, the wise have Wise Guys, the Wise is have wise counselors, you know, and it's important. And the reason why I'm stressing this is because there's a lot of rationalizations for why we don't seek it out. You know, a can be financial, oftentimes we use that one, even though we have no problem giving Amazon all our little money. But there'll be financial or it'll be well, I don't want to do you know, it's too uncomfortable. I hear they say I have to face you know who I am. But they don't know what I've done. They don't know who I am. They don't they don't you know, how can I trust somebody? How could I share these things that I'm ashamed of with somebody else? You know, what do you say to that individual?
Melany Oliver
That's a tough one. Because I've never had that mentality. Like, from a young age, I was always into this, like I started this journey, quite young. But events, sooner or later, you're going to have to face yourself, you're facing yourself every day anyway. You know? And would you rather live with that? Or would you rather expose yourself just to one person that doesn't have to be the world. You know, it could just be one therapist or one healer that you can find that you can connect to and trust enough to guide you through through that journey. And a lot of us didn't have validation growing up and to have someone mirror you and validate you and sort of expose your shadows in a way that you know, they're not judging you. It is so sacred and so healing and freeing, like I can't recommend it enough. But then again, I'm biased you know, I'm, this is my world. This is what I do. And I invest in myself all the time. But I guess it's really about getting over that fear. You're talking about fear of seeing yourself and fear of being exposed, you know, to others, but like I said, it doesn't have to you don't have to expose yourself to the world that can just be that one therapist or that one healer that you connect to.
Harry Turner
And I would encourage you if you're in that position, definitely want to deal with a trauma therapist, or trauma or a trauma trauma coach, somebody who understands trauma, that's key, because it represents just your hesitance represents a wound and we all have wounds, you know, even those of us who say I've never been through trauma we've had significantly all of us have had significant emotional events all of us have had wounds. It Just adding not identified as someone because it's not a humongous one. But oftentimes for many of us, it's that by 1000 cuts, these little small cuts that we've repeatedly got that then motivated us to hide ourselves or constantly judge ourselves. But for those who may be afraid to really lean into that discomfort, I will tell you that this is where you have to choose faith. Because without it, it will be impossible for you to make that choice. And so what would faith look like for you? And then speaking from a religious standpoint, but what would faith look like for you? It looks like you envisioning what the part of you that has faith in you what it would do and how he would approach this situation? Yeah, that's it, because the part of you that doesn't want to do it, that's just the part. There's other parts of you that, that's telling you that you must do it. And so if you lean into the energy of that part, that part has enough faith, for you to take those initial steps and continuing to face yourself. Remember that the race is not given to the Swift, but to those that endured, if you're willing to be patient, because love is patient. What is patience, patience is the capacity or reservoir to hold pain or discomfort for an extended period of time without becoming dismayed. You have to love yourself enough to embrace being patient while you grow through your pains. Because there's growing pains and growing pleasures, even though you will have grown pleasures as well. But just don't don't don't bank on those, it's mainly gonna be growing plains, you know, but again, even when we stumble, we still stumble forward, and we usually stumble forward much faster than we would be have we not stumbled to begin with? So understand that your pain has a purpose.
Melany Oliver
Absolutely. And it's just a part of you that scared and you deserve to heal more than anything. And wouldn't wouldn't you want to, I think people focus so much on the negative, like, instead of the all the benefits that they would get from facing themselves, right, they would they focus on the humiliation, or the shame or the exposure or whatever, or what a bad person I am, rather than, you know, this is going to free me, this is for my health, for my mental health, this is going to improve my relationships, this is going to maybe focus more on all the positive things that this is going to, you know, bring to you, as well. And like you said, work with someone who has experienced what you have, because a lot of us like I've shared my story online many times, because they will understand you and obviously they're they're not going to judge you. They've been through it. So it'll be much easier to feel safe around someone who's done that or who's been through that themselves. Right? And they will know how to guide you in the best way.
Harry Turner
Sister, can you recount a transformational story, where embracing truth played a pivotal role in someone's emotional recovery process? Wow.
Melany Oliver
Yeah, I can recall many. So I was working with a lovely client, who she's the CEO of a big company. And she came to me because she said, she felt unhappy, although I feel that she was depressed and use the word depressed. But she said she didn't want to be here anymore. She she had everything she lived. The beautiful lifestyle travel, the world does yoga and lives healthy, extremely successful, Financial has everything. But so unhappy and depressed and suicidal, basically didn't want to be on Earth. And obviously, she came to me and my first question is, how's your relationship with your parents? And she said, You know, it's great, you know, I have a great relationship with my parents. And you know, I had a great childhood. And so right. And she was very resistant at first to accept anything to do with her parents, obviously. So, you know, I went the long way with her, I was very gentle. But eventually I got exposed that she was actually neglected emotionally as a child, nothing happened physically, she didn't have any physical trauma, but it was the emotional neglect of the lack of love. And it wasn't that her parents were evil. I'm not saying that it was just, they didn't know any better. And that's okay. But it's we have to be able to point at and say, Actually, I didn't receive love and I felt neglected as a child. And I mean, she had the biggest, I could still remember her eyes like the biggest breakthrough when she had that realization, when she stopped being in denial, obviously going through different processes and it hits her heart. And she just grieved the fact that she didn't feel loved by her mother, she felt neglected. She was felt abandoned, emotionally abandoned by both her parents. And we did a lot of work around that. And, you know, this whole depression thing and obviously, there was a lot of anger as well and rage about not being looked after or cared for a touch as well not being held as a child, which is so important. So there's so many things that she didn't realize that actually were affecting her emotional state now as an adult, as a successful adult, who would have thought, you know, she was emotionally abandoned, neglected and, and even in her adult life, there was still toxic dynamics going on with her mother in particular, and also with her father a lot with her mother. And I taught her how to set boundaries, how to, you know, do all of that stuff and completely changed in six months, like complete transformation, she felt more empowered, no longer depressed, and are no longer sad. And she didn't understand why because she was giving her power away, obviously to her mother, and her father, in the in her adult life, where her inner child was, was crying, her inner child wanted love, which is why she was people pleasing her parents all the time, and obviously never getting it never getting because it was coming from that wounded place. Right. So yeah, that was a huge transformation in her life.
Harry Turner
Thank you for sharing that story. And thank thank you, even though you didn't identify them, which is exactly what I what you need to do. I want to thank them for going through it, because then they become a testimony, ya know, that can assist others in doing the same, you know, again, Marianne Williamson, As we are liberated from our fears, our very presence gives others permission to do the same. I bring on guests who, clearly I'm in line with that, you know, that's the desire. Also that can I explain this practically, because I know I talk in coats, I know how to talk in universal truths and codes. So I'm going to come back with a code after someone has said something especially as enlightened as as the testimony was just now, this is what I'm hoping that y'all begin to see that there is a truth. And this truth. Truth is true everywhere. No matter where you stand up. When you dig deep enough, we all reach reach the same center. So again, and Christianity we can say you reap what you sow and Buddhism and may call it karma. Sir Isaac Newton's third law of thermodynamics states for every action has an equal and opposite reaction, to me was a different set. Because one is speaks on the spiritual another one speaks on the physical. No, it's all the same. The physical is a manifestation of spiritual truth. And with that, have a question about spirituality for you, sister? How do spirituality and the pursuit of one's personal truth intersect in your therapeutic sessions? And what impact does this have on healing? Wow,
Melany Oliver
what a question.
Harry Turner
I am a therapist. So you know, I'm known to add some, you know,
Melany Oliver
yeah, well, to me, I see the spiritual journey and the healing journey as one, you know, at least in the beginning of the journey, the more that you heal, the more that you're gonna grow. Like I said, emotions is the only way that we learn on a soul level, at least this is what I believe. And that's how you're going to grow spiritually. Eventually, what happens you do like that, I'm talking about my personal experience, feeling call to share this, what I realized this, I remember one of my mentors said to me, you know, you don't know what you're looking for. And that hit me so hard. And I was like, wow. And I took it to heart what he said. And obviously, I contemplated and I, you know, journaled and thought about it for however many weeks and then until I realized that, wow, all this time is gonna make me cry. All this time, I've been thinking that I want to heal and grow spiritually. But actually, I'm looking for God. And I had this realization like, wow, I'm looking for the wrong thing. I was looking for the wrong things. And that was such a pivotal moment for me and my journey, healing spiritual for me. It's I don't know, it's so connected and intertwined. I don't know how to separate the two. But yeah, I tried to keep religion out of it. Especially because I have a lot of Muslim clients as well. But I do talk about God sometimes. And I do share my experience because it's my truth. Right? So I believe now. Yes, we do need to heal emotionally. But most people don't have faith in our you know, they feel this lack in their life, because they're not connected to God, we've been disconnected from God from God. I believe in God because I had an experience with God. I don't believe that God is the universe like God at the end, an entity, being conscious being God created the universe. I'm going all over the place, but I'm feeling called to share. Because when I was in the new age, practice, and you know, they talk about, you know, God being the universe, I never really felt connected. You know, and I just thought, and I prayed and I'll connect to my guides, but yeah, when I had this experience, and when I had this realization, wow, I'm looking for God and I changed that us. Okay, so now I need to start a relationship I need to what is God who is God? You know, and when I changed my, I started to pray and my approach to this whole spirituality thing. That's when I felt the most connected and aligned. And yeah, spirituality changed for me. And I now believe that spirituality is really about growing in love. And it's really about becoming at one with God is when you are, when your thoughts, your actions, your deeds are coming from a place of love. And I think that Well, I don't think I believe that we're here to learn about love. And none of us know what love is. No, we experienced trauma, and we experienced conditioned love. I mean, I did have an experience with that with God. But we're here to Yeah, to grow in love. That's what true spirituality is. And it's love is a gift. It's not a condition of thing. It's not. It's not a gift to take. It's, it's a gift. Right? Yeah. And it has many, obviously, other traits of being humble is one of them. And, yeah, being respectful and all of that. But yeah, I don't know if I answered your question. But that's,
Harry Turner
you answer. The answer you provided was answered and needed to be heard. Yeah. I speak the universal language, because a lot of people, especially in the states have religious trauma. And so I have to be careful with what it is that I say, but I to have a relationship with God, not the universe, because the universe is an expression of God's consciousness, just as we are with God, you know, but whatever person feels comfortable with Allah allow them to, you know, please, you know, because eventually, when we dig deep enough, no matter where we stand, that we all reach the same center. So I'm not concerned about where a person stands out in the beginning, it could be atheists, Muslim, you know, whatever, you know, go deeper. All I ask is that you know more about what it is that you think that you know, because eventually when you know, enough, you get to that center,
Melany Oliver
correct, yeah, I've had the same experience with clients.
Harry Turner
Truth In Love, I'm married. And so that's, that's what also you discover, as you get closer to God, you get closer to love, and in and through love, or you get closer to, to love as you get closer to your truth. And then as you get closer to love, in truth, that love, love heals, truth trees and in love heals. You see, it's happening simultaneously, as you get to know the truth of your core, which is connected to, to God, you know, and the essence of God is love. You know. And so as you get closer to love, you naturally heal, because the way that you see yourself, the way you understand yourself, it's through the lens of love now, as opposed to fear and hate. Those are completely different pitches. And
Melany Oliver
that's just to add to that, and that's one of the things that I'm noticed is that God doesn't respond to your false self, to your facade to your fears or your ego, he responds to your true self. Like I noticed when I prayed, and I really was sincere, and he responds immediately. Now, he doesn't take six months, you don't need to meditate or say affirmations for six months. No, God responds immediately if you are sincere. And if you're being your true self, that's why a lot of people when they people who come to healing, but don't have but want to do it from the ego, right? And they don't get the results that they want. And then they get angry or, and they're getting frustrated is because they're not actually being sincere and the desire to heal is for the results and not for the truth. You know?
Harry Turner
Don't I know?
Melany Oliver
It's not about getting the results. It's about the truth and living in truth and being in truth.
So yeah.
Harry Turner
And the truth sets you free because sickness and freedom cannot coexist. The hardest prison to escape is a prison that we can't see touch, taste or smell. And it consists of our fears. Evidence Appearing Real, it's false evidence. But because the way that the mind is designed, it doesn't necessarily need anything to be the mind can does not convey reality. It constructs it and is constructed based off of an algorithm many, many algorithms and conditions that have adapted to programs that have adapted to certain conditions because all of that optation is actually healthy adaptations, is just that we adapt being amazing adaptation creatures that we all we adapt to maladaptive environments, and then that becomes a default program. You know, it's healthy, a healthy adaptation to a maladaptive to an environment, which then means that we have to operate in a maladaptive way to adapt to this environment. And then we have to unlearn those algorithms, because the patterns of this world are based off of the ego. Rumi said that the ego is the veil between humans and God.
Melany Oliver
Wow, I like that, huh?
Harry Turner
In for me, I find it to be the truth. And so as always is war, or not war. But it's always this choice, really a choice between operating from the ego or operating from the Spirit. Those are two different orientations, we have an ego. But the ego again, this is for survival I really want to make bring that home is that the ego, we needed something that would prioritize survival. And also that we will continue to exist the same thing that every other mammal and creature has in them a mechanism to continue existing. But then God comes so that we may have life move from merely existing and surviving to moving up Maslow's hierarchy of needs, to self actualization at the top of that peer. Yeah, that's not self actualization is not a priority of the ego, survival animal instincts it is locked in, it does not go beyond survival and animal instincts. That's why you have to move from your head down to your heart, because your heart is going to show you the way to your true self, self actualization. And then you can you can operate from your actual self, instead of the false self, the ego projection of self.
Melany Oliver
And it takes a lot of courage in the beginning, but once you do it more than once you build that muscle, right, and then you just know, it's it becomes easier to take leaps of faith, as I call them over time, but the beginning it is hard, because like you said, we're so locked in, and we really believe in our fears. Right. But it's essentially it's about building, you know, that faith and faith in God and faith in the unknown. And the only way to do that is to actually, you know, leap into the unknown,
Harry Turner
to curse my existence, because I thought differently than other people to the point of being suicidal, you know, to curse my existence early on, you know, because I always seem to be on the outside of, of what it is that other people saw, I can relate to anybody, I could fit into the crowd very easily, it would that wasn't the issue. But could the crowd fit with me, that wasn't the case. And so from the ego, I cursed my existence for being an outlier and standing out. But from Sky level, and from my heart, I see that I was never meant to fit in that I was actually designed to stand out. And so now I take pride in being an outlier and standing out, you know, that's just you have to be when you move, remove judgment, when you accept, you know, part of my delayed effect, and call it what the first lit factor is five that factors. The first lit factor of the lit effect is acceptance. Because you can't change what you don't accept. Yeah, you have to accept and what is acceptance, acceptance is the undoing of your resistance to the present moment.
Melany Oliver
Yeah, that's exactly is your reality.
We're talking about truth accepting your truth. That's actually one of the first steps that I take clients through. Yeah, that's awesome.
Harry Turner
So I'm saying that we and this is our first time meeting. Yeah, I need to understand we didn't plan this, we didn't have like a prep session or anything like this. This is our first time leaving on stage. So and I want it to be like this. Because what it's going to be is what it's going to be and y'all can see the synergy happen as it as it unfolds, you can see my sister saying the same things that I've been telling you all, in her own way, in a more digestible out, I will say. But these are truths. And the reason why I speak again, and the codes that I speak because if you can take isness comes in so many different variations, this physical world. And so it's, it's when you understand the laws, it doesn't matter what manifestation is in front of you, you'll follow the same codes. Sometimes these codes are a pleasure to follow. Other times, it's a challenge, because your ego will in those moments, your ego is thinking safety, and wants to take the driver's seat. And so he wants to choose that route. But you have to lean into your discomfort and continue to keep the faith. You know, and what is faith from a spiritual standpoint, we walk by faith and not by sight. What does that saying comes from? It comes from because the ego doesn't see things accurately. Again, it constructs the world it does not convey it. And so since it cannot see it accurately, we're really not seeing anyway, all of these eyes are metaphors just to do again, survival anything beyond that, if you're trying to see yourself these eyes won't do it. I mean, as to shave but to see my true self. I'm sorry, you're about to say something.
Melany Oliver
You just reminded me of a song and Brazil, by Jupiters you he says under confer yvel book our final customer failure. I work with faith I will work with faith because faith never fails me. Reminded me of that
Harry Turner
and because I love the way you say that, can you say that one more time?
Melany Oliver
It's from a song um, that confetti Yvo? Book our phantom costume
Harry Turner
Ophelia. Huh? In translators walk
Melany Oliver
with faith, I will because faith doesn't will never fail me basically.
Yeah. fails me on my right arm on my bicep. I have these words tattooed. Love never fails. Wow, awesome. That's beautiful.
Harry Turner
synchronicity. That's what I'm saying, I can't make this up. This is what synchronicity. You can't make these things. You can't plan these things. I did not plan for her to speak those words. But inspired to do so. You know, but yes. Okay.
Melany Oliver
And based on your tattoo, this is something I think there's a false belief that, you know, most people don't believe in love, even their fears more than they do in love. And I'm talking about acting in love, you know, and by love, I mean, you know, being truthful to yourself, setting boundaries, even something like this simple as that, not people pleasing. Because when you are you're also, you know, being the other person's enabler and disempowering them, they believe more in their programmings and then fears then an acting in love. Right, they, but once you start to act in love, and you see what starts to happen in your life, then that also that's, I guess that's how you build faith as well. But the first time the first few times is, you know, can be a little bit scary.
Harry Turner
And I quote, Khalil Think not that you can direct the course of love for of Love finds you were the direct show course. Wow.
Melany Oliver
not heard that one.
Harry Turner
Oh, yes, I have a lot of now, like crowd knows that. But think now that you can direct a course of love. Not that you can tell love what to do. Because what you would tell love is based off of the ego. And the ego isn't adaptations to so early on these adverse childhood experiences that we have in these programs that our develop is based off of a conditional love. But love, at its core, at its essence, all love, no matter what form it takes romantic, platonic, whatever, all love is unconditional. Love does not come with conditions. So the conditions that you've placed on yourself and not rooted in love. They are rooted in fear, these limiting beliefs that you've endorsed for yourself. They're not rooted in love. They're rooted in fear. But love will free you. Love will nourish you, it will heal you. But love and truth are married. So when you dig deep and get more truth, like what my sense has been talking about, getting more truth that truth sets you free. And in you've experienced the freedom of what love is. I know for a lot of people that may be listening to this, this sounds like woowoo craziness, you have to separate as you get to know truth, you'll be able to discern with so much noise out there. With so much marketing out there, you'll be able to discern the authentic from the imitation, you'll see the imitation. It sounds good. But they don't truly believe that Andrew was behind that it's just a Dallas, that's already see you in you is dollar sign. So they catch on to things that sound good and they have a good marketing crew. But know that the the the they can mimic, they can duplicate but they can originate and they never been authenticated. To be authenticated. You got to have your own authentic walk, you got to do this for yourself. Nobody else can walk this path for you. My wings can't make you fly. You have to choose for yourself. And that's going to take courage and faith when you move from from fear operating a fear to courage, which doesn't mean that you've gotten rid of your fear. But courage is the choice to move forward in spite of being afraid. It's your fear that gives you the permission that gives you the opportunity to be courageous. When you move to that space, and you lean into your discomfort and you're gonna see it's not as bad as you thought it was. It just looked ugly because you kept running from it. But remember, wherever you go, there you are. You can't run from yourself.
Melany Oliver
Sister. Yeah. And
to add to what you just shared, like for me the I'm just remembering times where I was so afraid. And I still took reaction and I still, you know, cut my mother out of my life for example, I still set that boundary or, and really the antidote to fear for me is desire. Yeah, to have courage, but I wanted to heal more than I wanted to stay the same. Like my desire, all I wanted was to heal. So my desire to heal over, over took the fear, basically, I'm still afraid, I still felt the fear. But I just had this desire to, yeah, to be my truth to stand stand up for me and to, to heal basically, more than living in that fear.
Harry Turner
And the desire is to distinguish the desires that my sister is talking about is desires from her heart. Because your mind also has desires, it has wants, it never stops wanting, but the desires that she speaks of are from the heart. When those desires, override the wants of the mind, then you're on your path, you're on your way. You know, that's, that's, that's, that's the beginning of it. With my clients, I'll tell them, you know, if they're really upset about a thing, and they really experiencing that righteous indignation, which I felt many times, and can feel at any moment, because I have an ego just like anybody else. I say, if you really, if your goal is peace, if you desire, peace, this is all these all action words, these all verbs and nouns at the same time, your desire to have peace and experience peace must supersede your desire to be right. Yeah. Can you even surrender your desire to be right? Because your desire to be right is not based? It's not a heart's desire. It's a defense. How do you notice the defense posture. And the thing that defends positionality is is the ego, the heart is not concerned with defending positionality sees. That's why I can speak to whoever no matter what a person identifies as, because I have no I have no desire to defend any position analogies when it comes down to what my belief because I know that if you go deep enough, we all reach the same center again, these principles are the way to stand on. So all I'm gonna do is speak whatever truth allow myself to be a vessel to speak the truth as it comes to me. And then whatever happens happens, because I can't think that I can direct a course of love, where Love finds me worthy directs my course. Trust, trust and love, you know, and just be a vessel for that just is there is there, you know, I had at least 10 Other questions, but we, you know, just the way that things have been flowing with us, I just had to let it flow. It was going flow, you know, and it's been flowing well, like there's so much alignment here. I'm so grateful for you like seriously them. I am sincerely from the Corps experiencing gratitude for the sharing of this space with you.
Melany Oliver
Thank you,
Harry Turner
I am going to ask, okay. For our listeners who are feeling a deep resonance with living in truth, and seeking to embark on their healing journey from past, well, how would they connect with you? How can they connect and engage with your work?
Melany Oliver
Sure, first start, you can go to my website, which is Melanie dash oliver.com. I have a lot of blogs on there, I would recommend you dive do a deep dive into some of my blogs, because there's a lot of good information on there. You can follow me on social media, on Instagram on tick tock on Facebook or LinkedIn if you prefer. I'm most most active on Instagram. But yeah, you can connect with me on there, you can subscribe to my newsletter right now there's a free healing your inner child ebook, and why most techniques don't work. So you can have a read of that. And yeah, those are the ways that you can connect with me and you feel free to reach out on email as well.
Harry Turner
And we will have those links at the bottom of course, we will put all those links for you how to connect with her at the bottom and I would definitely encourage you to do so. Especially if you've been thinking about going to therapy. Again, coaching is not the same thing as therapy. But if you've been resistant to have any quote unquote therapist, whether you've been resistant or not go check out his stuff. But definitely you've been resisting go check out his stuff. Because real recognize real so I can I only those that walked a path can identify others who have done the same. So no, this is my first time meeting her but I have no problem co signing and, and validating everything that she's saying, you know, affirming everything that she's saying. And so I would encourage when I see a healer, light worker, I definitely want to promote them because there's darkness is not the opposite. Opposite of light is the absence of light. And so, so is hate. Hate is not the opposite of love. It's it's the absence of love. Fear is not the opposite of love is the absence of love. And so, as I identify more Lightworkers more people moving in love moving from the heart, I want to promote them as best as I can, as much as I can. Because there's a lot of healing that has to take place in this world. We don't realize that we're walking to track the fields and that we're constantly projecting out in a world because we don't see things as they are, but as we as we are, and we don't realize that we have a lot of wants, but life doesn't give you what you want, but who you are, which leads you into different reenactments when you're running from yourself. It's just one reenactment after another because we wrestle not against flesh and blood so you can change our faces but the same energy will be there waiting for you until you choose to face it. That's just what it is. When you can see from Sky level you can see these patterns the panoramic view but again, please go check out our stuff and against just I just thank you for being a blessing I said Is there anything you want to say anything you want anything else you want to leave the audience with?
Melany Oliver
Yeah, other than you know healing takes place in your heart is to share that healing is a choice. It's a decision that you make from your heart. It's not you don't need it. Yes, I would recommend you get a guide this you don't need any fancy tools or anything like that. But it's really a choice that you make from your heart so choose to heal for you for yourself and for humanity as well you know.
Harry Turner
Thank you sister for bassinet stage once again, our lives. Ya know, my mission is to assist others in developing the audacity to live unapologetically authentic and know that a life of authenticity is a life of skillfully practicing living through your values this season. Season Four, it's all about living in truth, leaning into your discomfort knowing that planes fly against the wind with it knowing that sailboats are safe is at the harbor, but they would never be able to remain dark knowing that freedom exists on the other side of your fears. It's about living in alignment this season, as it is with all seasons, but honing in on truth because at truth, we're free you in love we heal you. I appreciate you all listening to this very special episode with my sister, Melanie Oliver. Healing doesn't happen in the head. It takes place in your heart. And again the longest distance any of us will take this from my head down to our hearts. I appreciate y'all outliers, Mad Love and Respect until next time, as we continue another chapter of his debt so I hope our journey today has left you with more than just thoughts but a call to live intentionally, live intentionally deeply, authentically and truthfully. The path of self discovery of Self knowledge is infinite a labyrinth where each turn reveals more of who we are and can be let this conversation be a lantern in the dark guiding you back to yourself time and again until we meet next outlier. Continue to seek questions and live in the profound truth that defines your existence. Agave and stay lit. They've been through
