Harry Turner
Welcome seekers of truth to another season of "Is That SOO?" Here we embark on the journey together a quest not just for answers, for the right questions that lead us to the core of who we are. Season Four unfolds with many insights and revelations that challenge us to peel away the facades and meet our authentic selves. Let's be illuminated, transformed, and indeed become lit. The knowledge of our true selves. Welcome outlier. Well, welcome to another Live episode of Is that so season four. Again, we have the great Laura Giles on, she's going to be educating us and informing us and inspiring us on navigating shadows of the past for healing and recovery. So I can't wait to get that started. And again, the theme for the season really, for life has always been to remain lit. And what is lit lit is to live in truth, moving from eye level, to Sky level. And what that means for me is moving from your head down to your heart. Because the mind thinks, and the heart knows. And the mind confuses thinking with knowing, which then leads us into some uncomfortable situations. And then when we experience the discomfort of that situation, the mind is then humbled against realizing that it thought it knew. But it had no idea until we go through enough cycles of thinking and then confusing what we think in with knowing and then doing what we think we know. We run into enough cycles of that not turning out right to where we realized we just don't know. We have no idea. And it's when we reach that point of humility, that now we can be given something that's true. And so truth. What is truth? Truth is the accurate expression of essence, it is the accurate expression of a things essence, and know that love and truth are married. And since love and truth are married. How do you know? If you've embraced truth? If you're hearing truth? If you're speaking truth, if you live in in truth? Well, is it loving? Is it what is it? What love would think? Is it what love would say? Is it what love would do sit with that, because there's this other gravitational force that we feel compelled towards moving, and it's this smaller identification with who we are. But this part came to remember or rediscover, or really return to love. And so this is the whole for me, where I come from, and my foundational beliefs, you know, this is the whole point of the journey is to experience life. And to come here tabula rasa, which means empty slate, and that's something I learned and my practices as a mental health clinician tabula rasa to be empty slate. So we come here to empty slate, we come here empty, and then we leave for, but full of what it is that we always were, which is spirit or love, we return to love, you know. So living in truth is living in alignment with that frequency of love. When you live in alignment, that allows you to essentially row your boat gently down the string. When you're living in alignment, you're taking the path of least resistance with you, for you, even though there will be resistance on the path. But when you move in purpose, you know that when you just experienced discomfort, that your pain has a purpose. And when your pain has a purpose, they don't feel the same. So I'm gonna stop right there. But very happy again to see Heidi Heidi status 282 8am Over there, Heidi, let us know, let us know where you are located again. And Haley was going oh Haley, good Mona Matha, give yourselves a hand up. Round of applause. Round of applause for everybody, including me. So welcome to the recording. I appreciate y'all please feel free to ask questions even though I'm gonna be running it you know, please feel free to ask questions want to ask questions. That's why I'm doing this the way I'm doing it with y'all inviting the outlier community to come in and ask questions and be a part of it. So Heidi's out there in Australia. Thank you, Australia. Thank you, Heidi. And thank you Australia for hosting someone a beautiful soul like Heidi. And Haley says love starting Fridays like this. Yes. This is a great way to align your Fridays is all about living in truth again, you know, so iron sharpens iron. So we need to support each other this this is the thing we live in. You know what? Nope, nope. Haley, you almost got me. I was about to go down that road. I was about to start spitting again. I'm going I'm bringing my guests on the stage. So without further ado, welcome to this set. Laura Giles.
Welcome to the set. Welcome to set How're you doing? I'm
Laura Giles
great. That was a great introduction. Love that.
Harry Turner
Really?
Unknown Speaker
Yeah.
Harry Turner
What would make me great, I'm curious,
Speaker 1
this heartwarming, you know, you say things that I believe, but it's not very often that I hear other people say them, because you know, we're inundated with negativity all the time. It's bad news on the news. It's politics. It's nasty stuff happened on the media, and you don't hear those uplifting things. So that was a wonderful way to start. Thank you for that,
Harry Turner
huh? Yes, yes, thank you for that that helps is always a choice. Right? You know, like, it's always a choice that for me to see the faith of fear. And sometimes fear wins for me when it's fear. I'm in a negativity bias, you know, I'm in the spin, you know, and I can get caught up in that. But then, but I know, after time and time again, you know, I know that there's another choice there. And that choice is alignment, and its alignment with love. And, and that's a whole different. It's a whole different relationship with the outside as well as the inside, but first, beginning with the inside, so let's jump right on into Oh, wait, no, no, no, no, no, before I begin, I'm so excited to ask your questions. I was about to start asking questions immediately. But no, I want you to invite you to introduce yourself, please, to the outlier community. So if you don't mind, can you just let them know a little bit about your expertise and whatnot? I haven't. But I think it's better coming from you. Okay.
Speaker 1
Well, so I think my journey started, like everybody's you know, you don't necessarily know where you're going on the path is just like, and you're living it. And one of the turning points in my life was being bullied. And I couldn't really understand what that was all about. Because my family life was good. And the people that were bullying me were sometimes nice. And then sometimes they weren't. And I'm like, What's going on with these people? I can't figure this stuff out. You know, what happened today, that's different from yesterday. And that really set me on a path to figuring people out. And I didn't know that I was doing that until I stumbled upon a psychology class. And I wasn't really even all that interested in that. I just thought, this is an easy a, let me take this class. And then it all starts to click. And I was like, wow, people make sense. There's a pattern to this. And I think if you get the patterns, then stuff makes sense. You figure it out. And it all works. So that led me to therapy, becoming a therapist, because I wanted other people to have that knowledge, too. It's like, once you see it, then you can see it. And sometimes that's like, Oh, I'm hurting, because somebody hurt me, it's usually going to be something very simple, like that. And then you can work with it and see yourself and just like, oh, that needs to heal. And I think it's such a beautiful work, because we're all doing that all the time. So whether I'm witnessing it or going through it myself, it's just a part of life that just makes life feel real. So that led me to becoming a therapist and shadow worker, and I really have loved that journey.
Harry Turner
Mm hmm. Thank you for that. Thank you for that. And I appreciate you not being distracted by the banners. That takes skill, right that the banners usually get. Like, what is this popping up across the screen? We didn't were supposed to. But you kept offline with it. So you didn't miss a beat that was up. Okay. So yeah, welcome, again to the set. And welcome everyone out there. So are you ready to jump into because I have some. All right. All right. So Laura, could you give us an overview of what shadow work entails and its significance in the journey towards healing and recovery?
Speaker 1
So Shadow Work is a buzzword for sure today? So it's a good question, because everybody's not using it in the same way. So the way that I'm using it is the way that Carl Jung referred to it. And that is the stuff that we don't see. And that's where the gold is. Because if you're coming into therapy, or any kind of situation talking about, well, this is what's going on with every bet. That's the story that you were talking about. That's your head talking. And there's something else going on in your heart maybe that you don't know about and maybe something that you you've hidden there, because it's just too painful to look at. Or just because your story is so much of a habit, that you haven't even really examined it. So I'm going for the stuff that your your body says this is truth, not what your head knows I'm looking at your dreams. What's your body saying? It could be we're doing body work, I'm looking at your metaphors. I'm looking at the nonverbal stuff that bypasses your heart, the stuff that you don't consciously know about. And we're going to restructure that get it out of your body so that you can see the truth. That's really what it's about. Say that again.
Harry Turner
Every now and again my hit a little, you know, some but yes, you and I We share the same definition for shadow work. You know, we're dealing with that that unconscious or subconscious material. And the outliers that you know that people that follow me, they already know I say often until the unconscious becomes conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate. That's right. For me Shadow Work is like, essentially what a psychotherapist does, you know. And so I came out as a, you know, in this in this space, sort of an influencer educator came out in this space. And I'm looking at I'm seeing the word Shadow Work tossed around. And I'm, and I'm, quite honestly, I'm like this. That's that's, that's not shadow work.
Speaker 1
Yeah, yeah. Because if you're tapping into that stuff, you don't necessarily know what you're unleashing. And if you're not qualified to deal with what comes out, you could really be hurting yourself or someone else. Precisely,
Harry Turner
precisely, like, anyway, I'm gonna let it flow. But I definitely want to get to some of these questions, because these are some good ones. So what led you to specialize in Shadow Work and trauma recovery, specifically? And how has your personal journey influenced your approach?
Speaker 1
I kind of live life in the moment. So I didn't have this great plan. I was like, Nah, I don't want to always do that, you know, this thing. I have to do this thing. It's just where where's this moment leading me? And so you know, I went to that that Psych 101 class, and I'm like, Okay, I really like this. And you have to have an internship to graduate. So I'm looking for an internship. And I went to the courts, I thought I was going to be like probation, parole, they didn't want me. And yeah, for that same bullying reason, they like, Oh, we don't want her. But there was a lady standing there. She's like, you don't want her I'll take her. And I didn't really care. I just needed it again, you know, check that box, and she was doing domestic violence. And it was the most dynamic thing that I've ever experienced, she was so on fire for her job. And every day walking in there felt meaningful. It felt like I'm really helping people. I'm learning lots. So there was this reciprocity happening. And it just felt like, you know, the court is not a place that a lot of people go to, and they feel like they're going to get justice. But in our department, when we were working, I felt like it was a meaningful place to be, we're going to be here, we're going to support you, we're going to educate you on what you need to know, I'm going to hook you up with resources. And I wanted everybody to leave their feeling seen, heard and helped. And my mentor was amazing with that. And, and she really made me feel like this was such worthwhile work. And so I got into trauma because of her, really. And then I did sexual assault after that. And then while I was there, they were dumping all the worst cases on me this like, Oh, here's an intern, let's dump this on her, you know, the stuff that they didn't want to do. But little did they know, that was the exciting stuff. I was like, Yeah, give me your hard cases. I want these people because they were real, and they were wanting to help. And why would you come there and offer this and then just turn your back on people? Like, you know, you're, you're bothering me. So it was just a love, a love fest for me. And I know that it's not for everybody. It's hard. But I like meeting with people heart to heart and in trauma. That's what you see every single day. Yes,
Harry Turner
yes. Yes. That is tough. The I know that experience of being given hard cases. You know, specifically, and I understand why. And I was grateful that I will oftentimes get the those apps experienced the worst types of trauma. And usually it's continuous complex, complex. PTSD is my is my specialty. But in an agency setting, when it's also about numbers, and they tried to push people in and out. It was wearing me out. It was wearing me out. And so eventually I started beginning like prison, well, families, their families shortly going into the home and helping out people again, I went to I was a mental health clinician at a multi level security prison, did that for four years, then went to a mental health clinic, as well as was working at a er Hospital, in the ER, doing psychiatric assessments, assisting with that team. And then I created my private practice during that time, and got that up and running. And now, and within the next three months, I'm transitioning from my private practice, to whatever wherever my winter intuition is leading, it's leading me somewhere, and I'm following it. So like right now I'm actually studying, I'm going back and referring to that material that talks about, like the intuition and what it means. And so I find myself going back over like the subconscious and how that's subconscious. Joe Dispenza talks about the subconscious being the body itself, you know, and they were talking about it, we're talking about that and how that influences if we're stuck and locked in these states, the body that when it expresses itself, it doesn't have any means to get out. You know, and so it remains but anyway, you're gonna talk to us about that. I'm gonna stop Look, I'm just excited. You know, We'll recognize real I'm excited because you can understand my language. And so I want to talk but I'm, I want this and I'm gonna listen to so was there anything you wanted to say before I move on to my next question? Okay. Can you share a defining moment or experience in your practice where you witnessed the transformative power of shadow work in healings? Rama,
Speaker 1
daily? Daily? Yes, it's the kind of thing I don't think this happens very often in, in therapy sessions, I don't know. So I'm not been on the other side of the session. But for example, somebody will come in, they don't know what's going on, you know, I have this story. But I've done this a million times. It's not even bothering me. That's what a lot of people say, you know, I have this horrible thing happened, whatever, I'm over it. And that's a head response. It's like, well, let's see, you know, inside I'm saying, I don't know if I believe that. But on the outside of just saying, well, let's see what your body has to say with that. say about that. And then we go to the body, and do some body work. And it's just like, and then they feel the impact of that memory, and it's coming out, and they're having these emotions, and they're having these feelings and, and they're just like, I can't believe it, I had no idea that was in there. When you have that experience, it's in your body. And you know, oh, my god, something just shifted. It's not like you just go in and you have a session. And it's just like, well, it's good to talk to somebody, I feel a lot better. Now. You know, that's, that's kind of temporary. But when you move some energy out like that, everything can shift. I mean, your whole life can change in a moment, and you don't even know what's happened until, you know, you look back and be like, Oh my god, that was the day that everything shifted. And it could be the body, it could be you're working with a metaphor, you could be working with a dream, it doesn't really matter how you do it. But you just know, because the energy shifts and you feel it in your gut. So that happens every single day. I'm I love when that happens. I love to be the witness for that. And it really makes work. So exciting.
Harry Turner
This is off a little bit off of now it's on topic, but it's a question I didn't prepare. Can you talk a little bit more about that healing from the body because as a, as a as a psychotherapist, you know, there's certain training modalities I went into and learned about like heart centered hypnotherapy that caught me. So I'm a heart centered Hypnotherapist. But but that is about going to that subconscious, that unconscious and dealing with that material helping that material express itself, you know, and it is there's a somatic exercise that you do in between the two while you're doing it to release that energy. But can you speak a little bit more about just that connection between the body and trauma and it being expressed? Yeah. As opposed to the cognitive model as opposed to solely just the cognitive model?
Speaker 1
Yeah, so we are holistic creatures, we're mind body spirit, and you can do cognitive therapy to change your thinking, that is important. You do need to change your thinking. But if that's all you're doing, then you're reaching one level of healing, and it needs to be holistic, it has to be mind body spirit. And if you're not feeling it in your gut, it's still in there, because emotions are physical. If I say, you know, what does it feel like to be anxious, then most people will describe it in a very similar way, it's, well, I get this heat in my chest, and my heart is beating, and it feels a little prickly, you know, and those kinds of things. And that's what we're talking about, we all feel something similar. When we're talking about an emotion, fears in your gut, my gut is really tight. And I feel like I can't breathe, you know, these kinds of things. So if you're not going to the body, you're not really releasing it. And there's this other technique that I do, where, where I go through all, you know, what are you thinking? Where are your thoughts where, you know, what are you feeling? Where are those feelings, and what happens a lot of time when we go, and something just kind of gets stuck there is that stuff will start to get mixed up. So I start thinking my feelings and feeling my thoughts. Or maybe I'm totally dissociated from my body, and I'm not feeling anything at all. So that in that technique, what we're doing is we're putting everything back. So I can think my thoughts, I can feel my feelings, the way that it's meant to be in the human body. And I'm present with it. And then in the process of doing that helps it to move through because we never went through it the first time. So we have all these coping techniques that help us survive, but they can keep things stuck as well. So sometimes you just need to get in there, feel the feelings, make sure that everything's in the right place, and then it'll just move because that's what energy does. It's not designed anywhere in nature to just stay still and be stagnant. Everything wants to flow. Yes,
Harry Turner
flow like water. When water sits, it causes the stench. It rots what it sits on, you know, and we're mostly water. Yeah, we have to flow right like water, you know, in my practice, this is, you know, I've oftentimes wish that I could just spend two days with my clients, just walking like side by side, every single moment, you know, to assist and help calibrate, you know, outside of that one hour. But I promote a lot of mindfulness is the main thing I promote from that when I'm sitting from that model, but I noticed the only way I can really impact, or at least, this has been my style, and really my design. I'm designed to pierce through the barriers of people and get right to the core. And so I'm speaking, my desire in a session is to speak right truth, right to the core, not to the head, but directly to the heart. And usually, many times, that helps to get it out the expression of it, you know, and so I'm looking at those expression, and I'm helping to recontextualize now that we've gotten beyond the ego protectors, and now we're dealing with the true core, here, we're dealing with the inner child, we're dealing with the inner child beliefs, the antiquated beliefs and conclusions about oneself, you know. So without that truth, I don't think I would be outside of teaching good habits, I don't think I'd be a therapist, like, I wouldn't be where I am now, you know, but there's something about psychotherapy. And looking at those patterns. I'm also gifted at seeing patterns. So seeing the same patterns again, and again and again. And I'm like, Oh, this is a program. Yeah. They think that this is particular to them. But this is really a human program. Yeah. You know, and so then I begin to explain the programs to my people. And in the truth, again, truth and love are married, you know, truth trees, and love heals, you know. So that's really my goal in therapy sessions is to help my people get free, but also be a model of like, unconditional love for them as well, so that they can co regulate, see their frequency and match that frequency on a on, you know,
Speaker 1
so maybe your future is in Millia. Therapy. So I agree with you. I think the hour is it's, I understand the reason for it. But I think healing really is a lived experience. And when you can be in a safe space for an extended amount of time and give that process time to work. I think that's it goes a lot deeper, a lot faster than doing the one hour thing.
Harry Turner
Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, I'm stoked to see. All right. So my next question for you is, how does ancestral or intergenerational trauma affect individuals today? And what are the first steps and acknowledging in healing from it?
Speaker 1
This is big, too. And I'm glad that people are finally getting here. Because there's this thing called, oh, what is it called? Genetics? Epigenetics. Thank you. Yes, yes, epigenetics, that it's not just a matter of, you know, this is my stuff. And I'm clean, and I'm totally separate from my parents. We get stuff genetically. I mean, there are studies that show that if a mother mouse is exposed to the scent of cherry, and she's shocked, I think that was an experiment. And even though her kids have never experienced that the set smut, the sense of charity, will still make them react in the same way with fear. So you don't have to have had the experience to have the same, you know, feeling in that. So a lot of times, one of the things I do is go back to the point of origin. When did this start? And sometimes people give me some strange things and, uh, you know, I always tell people just say, say, whatever, you know, comes out, don't censor it, just say what comes out. And they will say the weirdest thing stuff that doesn't make sense. If we're thinking of time being linear, and you know, it only happens to me, like, let's say the, you know, what happens to me, it's World War One. And clearly, they weren't born there. You know, this is happening, the law, we're gonna go with that. Because maybe that was the grandmothers are great grandmother's, it doesn't really matter what the story is. We're just following the energy. And you can say whatever, you know, it's like, Well, that wasn't my lived experience. I don't know what those words came from. So what roll with it? You know, it is the truth. Your body knows the truth. And you have to open up and allow yourself to just say that forget about oh, I feel stupid. It doesn't have to make sense. Just say it, roll with it. And and that whatever's in there will let go for you. And whoever else carries that energy.
Harry Turner
Heidi says I see the program repeated in my family, but they don't want acknowledge or don't want to face it, and change it. How do you say come on now. How do you said I'm the cycle breaker yay.
Break them cycles. I'm saying The hell with them cycles. We break them. Somebody has to that's actually One of the things I end up telling my clients is, you know, notice that there's a pattern there, you know, this is generational, like notice the pattern, not only within you, but it within the generations, you know, and again, until the unconscious becomes conscious, it would wreck your life, and we'll call it fate. So this passed down these pass down wounds, you know, sidenote, because I know I have more questions to ask you, sidenote, people know, but I can, since I can smell racism seeping out of certain people's pores, when I pass them, I don't have to say a word to me. I can sense it, like strong sense. And I know that that has to be epigenetics. Yeah. bios, what I have such a, you know, keen sense of that. Right? You know, and so I'm like, I'm begging the ancestors for for that. And at the same time, I'm like, dang, it's, it had to be to that point to where, you know, we adapted, there was some type of evolution genetically, where we adapted to where we can just have a sixth sense for it. You know, that's amazing. The history is in the sales. It is. Yeah, absolutely. But yeah, talk tell us a little bit more about those breaking cycles, you know,
Speaker 1
well, I think you know, whatever it is, it brings you to asking for help, let that be the thing that gets you in the door, and then just be open to what shows up. Because typically, you're not going to know, you know, especially if it's something that came from your your parents, because you're born into this situation that existed before you, you didn't have anything to do with the making of it. And it starts to shape you, before you're even really all that conscious, you don't have words yet, you know, you're not really you're just all about survival, and you're baking into this situation, it becomes you. And because it's a habit, that's all you know, you don't know enough to say, Oh, I have this thing. So come in the door with whatever you got, and then be open to exploring it with somebody who knows how to get at it. And like I said, you know, accept whatever's there. Once you start censoring, and be like, No, that's not real, I can't do this law over that, then you're shutting the door to your own healing. Because we don't know. I mean, I do rituals for myself for healing, because why wait to be triggered, you know, we all have garbage, this garbage in garbage out, I don't necessarily know what's in there. But if I'm doing a ritual, with the purpose of getting it out, I'm just gonna let it go. Whatever shows up, it's okay. I don't even have to know what it is. But you can feel it leaving. So why not just do your it's part of your self care.
Harry Turner
And those patterns, you know, some of those patterns, like when you were talking about being bullied growing up, you know, and then you see, even as an adult, that in some form or fashion, that energy is there. It's those right there. That is when your break when you face these, because it intensifies, right? It gets bigger, but you get stronger at the same time as you skillfully beat these boards. It's like almost like playing a video game. It's like it's the same stuff. But it's a little bit more advanced as you go up. But you become skillful as you face it more and more. And then before you know it, you realize that when you encounter these situations, these situations now welcome recontextualize they're not from a place of fear, right, from a place of more courage and love, you know, and when you operate from that space, the content becomes different, because total context now is different. Yeah. And it's just that switch of context. And whatever it is that you do, like when you get closer to truth and love, when you realign with love, when you heal, what does healing look like? It's a recontextualization of your experience with yourself and as an extension of the self with everyone else in the world.
Speaker 1
That's right. Absolutely. Yeah. Yeah. I think everybody needs to focus on the me and that might sound selfish, but it changes everything. Everything, the only thing you have control over is you, you take care of you and everything outside of you will shift Totally agree.
Harry Turner
All right, so in context of being lit, or living in truth, which is the theme for season four, which you are a part of, in the context of lit, how important is truth in the process of healing for trauma and recovering one's power? I was just talking on it all man, I jumped the gun. I jumped a gun. But you know what we don't pretend like I didn't jump the gun. In the context of living in truth. How important is truth in the process of healing from trauma and recovering one's power?
Speaker 1
I think it's the most important thing. You have to live in truth, you have to live in truth. I think there's so many things that we we don't want to say out loud. We don't want to admit we don't want anybody to know because of shame. It's just reality. You know, we all live in the same reality. And it's the same for everybody. You know? So when you just accept okay, it is what it is and the shame can go away and you can just live your life in truth. Yes,
Harry Turner
yes. And self empowerment. self empowerment. I don't know exactly what I fit in, but I know it fits in because it feels right. So I know it fits in I just clicked on it. A little late, but self empowerment. I think it
Speaker 1
is empowerment, you know living in truth, because it's saying this is who I am, accept me as I am, I'm going to accept me as I am. Because nobody's perfect. We're all light and dark, you can't have light without dark. They're opposite sides of the same coin. So if you're trying to act like I don't have that, then you're not living in truth, and you can't show up with all of your power.
Harry Turner
You, oh, man. Can you just continue to that thread? Right there? I was just feeling that. Can you continue to through this a little bit if you have a little bit more?
Speaker 1
Sure. So I was working with somebody yesterday, who had a really bad spill. And he acted out that some things that he is not proud of, couldn't take back, you know, and he was just talking about it. He owned it. And he said, This is what happened. This is how I behaved. And we explored that to see, you know, okay, what was really going on there. And what was going on, is it a little part of himself, remembered how it was like to be in that situation when he was a child, and helpless. And we got that through the body, not not through his head. But when he could stay there in his truth and own all of it, you know, I was scared, I didn't know what to do. And I acted this way. And I caused all these problems, I mean, everything, the whole part of it, then, then it was like that, in itself was very healing, because it brought him back to the truth of that moment. And who he was, we did a little bit more on that to release the shame piece of it. But it was still very healing for him. And I think we all have to do that. Because, you know, we can sit up here and judge people and look down on people. But when you have done that to yourself, then you know, you know you're not taller than anybody else. And that puts us in a space of equality where we can connect and be whole together, which I think is so we do have the may may take care of me and may take care of my stuff. But it is for the purpose of connecting with other people and being whole together. So we are talking about the same things. First of all,
Harry Turner
I'm just enjoying it. I know I'm supposed to be the host here. But I want to enjoy it a little bit to that truth that you speak. And it's so key like living in alignment, and allowing the situation because at certain points when you stay in guilt and shame, you know, Jung, he says condemnation does not liberated only further oppresses. He said, You know, one cannot ascend to the heights of the heavens unless one descends to the depths of one sail. That's right, you know, like, when you allow yourself to, like be free of the baggage of shame and guilt. When you surrender those energies and you begin to raise up, you realize that as your energy raises up, again, it's a recontextualization. At each new transcended level, it's a different context. And when you deal with a different context, the content is different. And you realize that you have more more resources, internal resources available to you, you see more, you hear deeper, like you feel deeper, and you feel more connected. So ultimately, going back to what Heidi said earlier, you feel empowered, you know, like, that's, if you can just lean into that and get past that big ol wall that says you can't get through this. If you could just lean into that, and memorize a lot of quotes. And my clients, they would know that as well. They know that as well, because I tell it to them constantly. And so one of the things I would say one of the many quotes I would say is sailboats are safe at the harbor, but they would never build to remain docked. Like you got to set sails. Right. You know, Freedom exists on the other side of your face your fears have no idea how strong you are. Your fears have the parasite of fear, because it's not even yours. It's a parasite. The parasite of fear has no idea how strong you are. And you don't know until you test the limits. That's right. Yeah. You know, it is good. It is good to see you on the stage. Real recognizes real once again. What are some common challenges people face when studying shadow work? And how can they navigate these obstacles?
Speaker 1
The thing that I see with people is the habit of the way things were. What I mean by that is, is you have this idea in your head that you're going to therapy and you're going to talk about stuff, and maybe you're gonna do some cognitive, you know, let me think about how I'm thinking. And so sometime, mostly, fortunately, people know who I am before they come here, but I get people who don't and it's just like, I just stumbled in here. I don't know what I'm getting into. And then when I start doing this voodoo witchcraft, they're like, Whoa, I don't know what we're doing here. So the obstacle really is being open minded enough to do something different. I I heard a statistic that only 20% of people get help from therapy. And I'm thinking okay, well that the 80% must not be doing this. Because I think that's that's sitting down and talking, again, not to say that there's anything wrong with that I think we need to integrate, I think we need to feel supported and safe and those things, but it's not enough. So the biggest obstacle that I have is with people who are just uncomfortable with the difference. I'm not gonna call it voodoo and witchcraft, just the different things because it's, we're not sitting down and talking.
Harry Turner
Yeah, comment from the crowd. Yeah, with shadow work, you know, again, this is different from I wanted to separate, I had to separate my psychotherapy, mental health practice, because I hadn't bought my license from what I'm doing here, you know, so I had to create a new business and everything like that I even have several life coaching certifications, in addition to my therapy, certifications, and whatnot. But this shadow work, that seemed like it was just most fitting for me, because that's essentially what I've been doing. Like, that's what I was essentially trained in from an institution, you know, even those know, institutions named institution or shadow work, you know, but it just seemed like it was just natural for me to go into that space. But I find that in the influencing space, because it scares people, but there's a lot of superstitious people out there and a lot of them are religious, superstitious. And I'm a Christian, like, I come from a religious background, you know, I mean, like, and identify, you know, ego identity, part of my ego identity, is that a Christian, which really means that Christianity is my path, you know, to True Knowingness, that's it. But the there's a lot of people who are superstitious when they hear words like shadow work, they get scared, they become afraid, you know, and so I find myself you can right now, if you will go to my website, there's certain links that are unclickable right now, because I'm redesigning it to make it less scary for people. So, you know, can you speak to notice this might be a bit of a challenge here, but can you speak to those who may be afraid of quote unquote, said shadow work? Like, what would you say to someone who believes that you're trying to essentially do some voodoo woowoo on them? Like it said, you know,
Speaker 1
well, I think, you know, try it, keep an open mind it, there's really nothing scary about it. It's just so for example, I might say, okay, you know, what is that like? So I'm drawing out a metaphor. And, and then they start telling me the story again, it's like, no, no, no, I don't want the story. Tell me what it's like. Because we talk in metaphors all the time. You know, it's like being on a hamster wheel. That's a metaphor. So that's what I want. Because that is the truth. So you know, sometimes people will just like, I don't know why we're doing this, it feels like we're playing, we're not really doing anything useful until you get to the end. And it is like, Oh, my God, that bottom just fell out. I'm not in that box anymore. I'm not on the hamster wheel anywhere. How did you do that? You know, I'm not I don't have this glass ceiling anymore. How did you do that? It's because we, when you speak to the truth of the thing, it's a whole lot easier to deal with, because it's the truth. We're not going in back doors, we're not climbing in Windows, we're not doing any of this. So on my YouTube channel, I have demos to show people, this is what we're doing. I don't show them exactly what we're doing. But I just show them, you know, pieces of it. It's super easy. It's very simple, it's usually really quick. It just is asking your mind to think about things in a different way, because you can't use the same thinking to fix the problem that created it. So we're not doing that.
Harry Turner
Yes, and adaptations from Einstein, again, I tell my clients is that healing cannot occur at the same level of consciousness at which the wound was created. That's right, you know, like, You, you, again, we talking about recontextualization, you know, but from a whole different, there is horizontal recontextualization ins. But then there is like transcendent recontextualization. And we talking about the transcendent function, we talking about transcendent, like recontextualization of life, you know, it's a whole different it's a it's a it's a frequency, it's a whole different frequency. And from that frequency, even the because you also are many attractor. So from the frequency you start to see different, like stimulus happens, certain cycles begin to fall off. And other cycles begin, you know, positive, other positive cycles begin, you know, and you notice the synchronicity more, and you can see it more, it's always it was always there, but you see it way more now, like you having a conversation with it, you know, you just following that, you know, see real recognize real this is what they mean by that, you know, because you can't talk and unless you experience it. That's right.
Speaker 1
Absolutely. And I want people to have an experience and that's, that's totally different to, you know, you can talk about things and it's a story. It's not going bone deep. When you experience it. It is both deep and it means something different. So the things that I do are experiential. They're happening in your body. You can't fake that.
Harry Turner
Yes. Okay. I'm gonna say real quick, all right? No, the body cannot, the body will not lie to you, but the mind can because the mind built into the survival kit of the mind is deception. We needed deception to deceive enemies early on. But in inheriting that gift of deception, we also inherited the burden of being able to deceive ourselves. And so the worst lie is a lie to ourselves. And we do that often. I know that even even when we're talking about living in truth, we have to pierce through that barrier of non truth to get to that truth. Because non truth super imposes itself on top of truth without truth, non truth, we have no basis to stand. How do you know that look at a counterfeit bill, you know, a counterfeit bill is made after the real bill. If it did, if it's a counterfeit bill chose Monopoly money to mimic, it would never be effective, right? So non truth sits itself on top of it mimics truth, but it is not truth. And so you have to pierce through the barriers of non truth that you thought was truth until you hit your actual truth. And then that truth makes you free when you experience it. Because truth is an experience. Yeah, religion tries his best to you know, I've said this before religion has tried his best to capture the truth and then teach the truth. But capturing the truth or trying to capture the truth is like trying to capture the wind with one hand, like, it's, it's an impossibility, it's something that must be experienced. And so until that experience, until you meet that experience, there's a certain mechanism that you're going to need and it's called Faith, faith, faith, faith. All right. I'm gonna stop right there. Because that even that right there, you know, there's a lot of people in our country who have religious trauma Wait, located, by the way, Virginia, Virginia, Virginia, Virginia, okay. Yeah, there's a lot of folk who have religious trauma in our country, you know, and so there's a there's a, you know, certain words, or triggers. Yes. And a lot of people haven't explored those triggers as of yet. So
Speaker 1
I don't know that, I think is universal, because in the creation of life, uncertainty is part of that the mystery is part of that. And the only way to navigate with that mystery is through faith. That's what faith is for. So if anybody's listening to who has trauma around that, I would separate that maybe from the religion. Religion and faith don't have to be the same thing. I think the nuanced
Harry Turner
going off topic a second, but it's my fault. Because religion, at its core, the word religion is a pure word. And the religion religion in itself is the practice of one's belief. We all have religion, because we all currently practicing our beliefs. If you here today, that is part of your belief system, you've actually intentionally did something to show up here today. And intentionality reflects relationship. The issue that I believe that has caused the problem, and really the church has caused it on and brought it on themselves, is that they speak words, but there's no follow through with lifestyle, there's no true understanding, digesting and understanding no operation from that frequency of what love is, you know, so if you're preaching love, but all I see is hate. Yeah. Why would I want to you know, and then that creates the confusion and then a fear behind it. Because mixed beliefs, beliefs, create confusion, and the mind does not like to be confused, right. But when you speak with when you when you deal with somebody, when you just in the presence of somebody who aligns with and accepts truth, just that by itself, and that natural co regulation of energy being and sharing the same space, your frequency begins to raise it, like you can feel it, and you can hear it in their words to, you know, even though we can all say the same things. It's like that that one person says it. And it's like, wait a second, I heard that 1000 times. But for some reason, when they said it, it hit. Yeah. Those are people who actually live it. You know, those are people actually live in. And I have been missing a lot of comments here. So LGC That's what faith means. Not knowing Come on l GZ. Heidi said leap of faith, belief is feeling LGC said belief is feeling not knowing cognitive dissonance, were we talking about misbelief creating confusion. Yeah, that cognitive dissonance pops up, you know, but yes, it makes please create confusion and belief, you know, belief. This is what we deal with in CBT. The beliefs and that's the transformative part of like these cognitive therapies is that finally, we know we start looking at the B we start looking at ourselves and the unexamined life is not worth living. So just getting the person to learn how to look B skillfully do that introspective work and look at themselves is transformative. So that be beliefs. This is what the mind goes off of. and a belief is something regarded as true but needs no factual information. So the mind doesn't go off of facts. Right. He goes off for beliefs. Yeah. You know, it's, oh, yes, yes. The comments are popping off right now. That magic oil was Skip one skip one. I need you to hit the glitch. No problem. No problem. Well, geez, I will hit that magic sound Yeah, yeah, y'all let me know when I need to hit that, especially if I'm flowing because I'm just you know, I'm just having a dialogue having fun up here. Okay. Could you share? We did not talk about obstacles yet that we did not ask you what are some common challenges people face when starting shadow work? Yes, I should have one. Okay. Okay. Could you share some key tools or techniques that are effective and Shadow Work and trauma recovery, some key tools and
Speaker 1
techniques, I think one of them is, is learning how to calm your body down. So there's a couple of there's lots of different ways to do that to calm the vagus nerve, because you're going to be triggered if you just are. And that's kind of the point you want the trigger to happen so that you can follow it to the source. And so one of the things that you could do is just relax your tongue. The vagus nerve starts there. And if you relax your tongue, you feel your body slow down, you should get so I'm doing it right now. And you can feel my, my voice go slower and deeper. I have a client who absolutely loves that technique. And she she's like raves about this is the best thing I ever learned. When
Harry Turner
we slow the tongue, like relax
Speaker 1
the extra time extra time to relax the back of the throat. That's where the vagus nerve starts, it doesn't take long, like five seconds, 10 seconds, and you'll feel your whole nervous system, just calm right down. Another thing that you can do is engage your peripheral vision. And it does the same thing. So when my eyes are narrowed and focus like this, then I'm either focused, or I'm anxious. And I'm zooming in on the thing that is creating the tension. So when my eyes are out here, and I'm looking in a wide way that's telling my brain that everything is super chill. And even if it's not chill, if my eyes are out here, my gaze is out here, then I'm going to be in a better position to deal with the nacelle. Because I'm not overwhelmed. So there's a lot of tricks like that, that you could do that mind body connection, that helps you to be in the moment and not be in the fear, so that you can be more effective,
Harry Turner
that peripheral. So for those y'all who listen to me, my sister explained in a very practical way, what I mean when I say whatever you resist persists. So don't resist it. Sometimes we have to choose to desist. Now there's natural resistance that comes with life at certain times. And we know that planes fly against the wind that with it. But we are your approach to life, the way that you deal with these things as they arise. And you know what you got to face them, you don't resist it. Because whatever you resist, you resist facing it. If you resist the say, the experience of fear, it amplifies fear, because fear itself is false evidence appearing real. And so when you resist it, you're actually moving away from it. And like any Mirage, when you move away from it becomes stronger. So don't resist it. You know, and also you're fighting with it, because you're responding to that. And intentionality reflects relationships. So if you're attentionally running from a thing, you gotta realize wherever you go, there you are. And so when you intentionally run away from a thing, you're still pouring energy into that thing. And web attention goes energy flows. And so you form a stronger relationship with that thing because intentionality reflects relationship was needed in I'm not sure appalls and it felt like the right moment. You know, I'm saying, Thank you for that, you know, like, like, seriously just allowing it to, you know, calm yourself regulating the vagus nerve. You know, another thing that I talk about the story of based off the polyvagal theory Tronic is that the trauma is the chronic disruption of connection. So talking about those three parts, the freeze the story of disconnection, story, protection and story of connection. And I'll ask clients, you know, where are you? Are you in the story of protection, disconnection or connection? Connection being at vagus nerve regulation? Are you regulated? You know, and just being aware of that, oh, I'm not regulated. Yeah, if you're not regulated, you remember, state dictates story. So from that dysregulated state, it's telling you a story. And it's not telling you a fully accurate story. Because you're dysregulated you got to regulate yourself to see with clarity, you know, oh, this is good. This is good. Okay, once someone starts making, oh, we got a comment to wait before we begin that one demands to calm so I don't know how long it's been up there. That was not a comment. Thank you, Jesus. It wasn't a question rather, that wasn't a question. Once someone starts making progress in their healing journey, how can they maintain this momentum and prevent backsliding?
Speaker 1
It's a really good question. Because I think sometimes I get people who say I just want to get unstuck, whatever that means. And then we do that and then they go right back to their life, but then they come back again because they are not maintaining a momentum. So it's not just a matter of getting unstuck, or making the hurt, stop, you need skills. And a lot of times when you have complex PTSD, so your life has never been healthy, you don't have those skills, you got to have skills to learn the skills. And then another thing that helps a ton is to have a community of Healthy People, where you're modeling this for each other all of the time, when you're living in it, that's that Millea thing again, it becomes a part of your daily life. So it doesn't become oh, what skill do I use? It's just this is how I live lifestyle,
Unknown Speaker
lifestyle. Yes.
Harry Turner
It might be we're gonna get to that. And maybe it won't get to let me not speak that. But again, y'all know, my mission is to assist others in developing the audacity to live unapologetically authentic, and a life of authenticity is a life of skillfully practicing living through your values. That's all I'm saying. That's all I'm saying. Living versus existing? Yes. Because spend your life earning a living is not a living. It's a dying, you know, and we've not come here to merely exist. But the ego, again, the ego is concerned mainly with survival. That's why we have to move from high level to Sky level. Once again, that reminder, that lit effect is moving from high level to Sky level, from your head down to your heart and getting the head to realize that it's supposed to be the first mate and not the captain. That's why it's easy in hindsight, not foresight. You know, so you move from your head down to your heart, and that's moved from eye level to Sky love, who said, well, the hardest beneath the head? Yeah, life is paradox, you begin to understand the real you realize that life is paradox. All the truth is hidden right in front of us. It's just that we, we see in distortion, you know, but life truly is paradox. And we begin to understand the paradox, you realize how wise life really is, and all the wisdom that you're surrounded and immersed in, okay? For those new to shadow work, and addressing trauma, what advice would you give to help them start on the right foot to
Speaker 1
thing, so find somebody that resonates with you. Because if you don't feel safe, if you don't feel that they're competent, not a lot is gonna get done. And then also make sure that they're actually doing trauma work, and shadow work. There's a lot of certifications around these days. And you know, you take a class and you get a piece of paper, and it's like, oh, I'm a certified this. And I get a lot of people saying, Oh, I worked with a trauma informed therapist. And then I say, Well, what did y'all do, and they didn't do any trauma work. That's very common. And I'm not trying to diss anybody, I'm just saying it happens. So make sure that they're actually qualified to do the work because it is very emotional. It could be very dysregulated. And if you don't have somebody with the skills to get you through that, it's going to be really horrible. So like on social media all the time, people talk about how bad so Shadow Work is, oh, my God, I never thought it was going to be this bad. It's like, you know, you see them burning in hell and things like that. It's really not like that. You have moments of that, but it's momentary. It's not horrible. It shouldn't be horrible. If it's horrible, you're doing it wrong.
Harry Turner
There's resistance, there's resistance there. And because you resisted you persist. The worst thing you can do is resist is like when you a child and you get a shot. You know, I used to be terrified of needles, but the needles can tell me the needle wasn't trying to kill me. Whenever somebody tried to give me a shot. Like as far as I was concerned, that was a bullet one like, so as a child. You know, I remember one incident where the nurses had to come in. And like, you know, they told me in advance that I was getting shot today I heard it, I was talking to my mom. My mom made a face and looked at me, because you know, I hurt and yep, I went dropped down right to that fight or flight state. I said, Okay, bring it on. When I'm a child, bring it on. Job, I had a real somebody down. benders called three other people. Three people had to hold me down as a child to get a shot in my butt. And apparently I had bones of steel during that time because I clenched up and move to the right a little bit and bent the needle and had to stick me twice. Oh my god. What I remember being hot, I remember being terrified of these needles. But now as an adult, when I go and draw blood, like it's, you know, I still tell him hey, let me know before you stick me. I still don't like needles. But the pain that I thought I felt early on, it was amplified fear actually amplifies the pain because the fear represents a form of resistance. And so when you resist these things, then it stays with you because you're pouring energy into that, you know, and so you have to let it flow up. So acceptance, radical acceptance is the undoing of our resistance to the present moment. Acceptance is that key when you accept you're making the thing more digestible. And how do you know if you're not accepting something one of the keys is feeling that stomach the stomach is the digestion center the energetic body so if you're having gut issues more than likely there's something that that's sitting on your stomach something don't sit well with you, or you're not digesting the situation. But you'll you'll notice that fear though that energy of fear it sits in the stomach. And so if the digestion center is acting up, then you want to ask yourself, what is it I'm choosing not to accept, because you have to accept it, you can't change what you don't accept. And when you accept it, also, more clarity is gonna come in behind it, because you're gonna have more peace. We don't have clarity, you know, fight or flight state, because we don't need to do chess, if a bear is chasing after us. You know, the problem is that there's no bear chasing after us, we just feel that the bear is chasing after us because it's, it's trapped in our body, that energy of of a bear chasing after us, you know, so clarity is needed to begin to see recontextualize life so that you recontextualize it in a safer context, the content is safer. Because the context at that energy level, the content is just one big harvest story, the Megillah super active, and so you're just looking for the next thing, the shooter dropped the next thing to happen to you have to move out of that state no matter what's going on externally, if you defeat the enemy within the enemy without can do you no harm. Okay. It's also the biggest cause of autoimmune. Yeah, we got we got that. And Haley said, sounds too familiar? I bet it does. I bet it. All right. I think I have one more question for you. Hold on a second. So my final question for you today is as we look towards the future, how do you see the field of Shadow Work and trauma healing, evolving, particularly with a growing emphasis on living? authentically,
Speaker 1
I am super excited about the direction I think that there's lots of good education out there. So when I first started in trauma work, it was a desert, it was a desert. And people would say, you know, I have to move, I can't continue with you. Can you recommend somebody? It'd be like, No, I can't, I don't know anybody who's doing anything worthwhile. And I'm not saying that to be egotistical. But there are certain things that work and certain things that don't, and I'm not seeing that training pop up. But it is now. So I think trauma is on the radar for lots of people, I can refer to lots of people now, which makes me super excited, because there's so much drama out there. So I'm looking forward to the future with a lot of hope. I think that, you know, the conversations that we're having today, back in the day, were rare people, we're not talking about this stuff, we are talking about it now. So I think it is I'm hoping it's moving to a much more mainstream way of of thinking, and that people want to be authentic, and truthful and connected and healthy. I think they're, they're like, Okay, this, this other thing is not really working for me, I need to do something different. So I'm very hopeful.
Harry Turner
The, the recognition, I believe that all of it, you know, no matter where we move to, ultimately is, it's the recognition of the true self. And all of these things are merely tools, back to the true self, you know, so just using realizing that, you know, and continuing that that quest, you know, the unexamined life is not worth living. So continuing to examine the self, you know, because you're more than that, you're more than just the self, you know, you go way beyond yourself. And that's what you begin to realize as well, you get to realize that this is merely an avatar that's playing out in this movie. And at one point in time, you fell in love with the movie. And so you thought that you were the actor, but you aren't the actor or the experience, you're the witness, the witness are behind the experiencer. And its experience. And so when you begin to give the experiencer and its experience a little space, again, I love the sky, I love it, the sky level, when you give it a little bit of space, all of these other options become available to you, you begin to see that even the switching of context is is almost seamless. Because you can get not merged with it. At that point, you can see it you're given enough space to really look at yourself internal family systems does that where you're essentially looking at these different parts of oneself, you know, and when you give it space now you can really look at yourself and have that dialogue and reconnect with oneself. It's all about connection. And then as you reintegrate, you know as you collect these parts yourself and welcome them back to the table, you feel yourself to become more empowered and more freer. And as Marianne Williamson say it in a return to love as we are liberated from our fears, our very presence gives others permission to do the same. And so now you're lit and you become infectious because people want to understand what is that thing they see with you what is that? It's like something something glowing, some light some fire that you got that, you know, I haven't felt in a while or I've never felt like I want to understand what that is. That right there. You become a light. In this world. Again, darkness is not the opposite of light is the absence of light And so when you see when people see you and see your light shine, you become infectious and you light them up. And so you're spreading light. That's as at least that's that's how I see it. And as part of the core my passion for doing this system. Is there anything else you wanted to say today, as we come to a unfortunate close? I'm not gonna judge it as we come to the end. All good. Thanks for listening, I guess. Maybe, possibly, I don't know how much I believe that. But go ahead.
Speaker 1
I just want to say thank you. Thank you, for you. Thank you for everybody who's listening. And I appreciate y'all being here. I love the conversation, and I'm honored to have been part of
Harry Turner
Yes, and honor. It's an honor to have you blessed to stage I'm gonna step out for just a second. And can you just let the people know where they can find you at one more time? Sure.
Speaker 1
So my name is Laura Giles, and my website is my name. And you can do that. dotnet or.org. And on Twitter and Instagram, large Rs 804. That's where you can find me.
Harry Turner
All right. And before I let you go, I see a few comments. Oh, hi. You said this was has been awesome. Thank you. You're very welcome. Caribou Sana. Caribou Sana, which is Swahili for your welcome. Thank you. Oh, all right, Haley. Thank you. Thank you all for showing up. You know, everyone, and thank you everyone who commented Heidi Haley l GZ. From VA. You know, thank all y'all for showing up. Thank you all for commenting, rather than everyone else who showed up and who's listening to this and who will listen to this in the future. Again, this is season four of is that so is that slowness is about moving to that state of equanimity, which means that you're in a space of serenity in spite of being bombarded by stressors. And this season is about remaining in truth or living in truth, aligning with the truth and know that truth in love. I'm married. I appreciate y'all for showing up. Again. This has been an amazing episode with the amazing Laura Giles and I will see y'all later. Later. Thank you again, sister. I appreciate you so much. As we continue another chapter of Is that so? I hope our journey today has left you with more than just thoughts but a call to live intentionally, live intentionally deeply, authentically and truthfully. The path of self discovery of Self knowledge is infinite elaborate, where each turn reveals more of who we are and can be led this conversation via lantern in the dark guiding you back to yourself time and again until we meet next outlier. Continue to seek question and live in the profound truth that defines your existence. Agave and stay lit. They've been through
