Stop Worrying About What Others ThinkOct 18, 2021
No matter our decisions in life, the people around us will judge. You can be making an impact at the top of your industry, or struggling through a tough situation, and people will always have something to say. What matters the most is what you choose to listen to and why you choose to listen to it. Basing decisions on what others say isn’t a healthy approach, as it leaves us susceptible to influence - meaning, you stop living for yourself.
We all want to be considerate; we want to make our loved ones proud and happy and we don’t want to be known as selfish - but where do we draw the line? We sacrifice so much and miss out on life because other people’s opinions about our lives matter. Think of all the things you have wanted to do but you never got around to doing because of the fear of being judged. Do you and stop worrying about what others think of you.
I get it. “Doing” you sounds easy on paper, but for it to work you need to know who YOU are. I'm talking about the you that isn't influenced by groupthink, the you that is passionate about living and loving life. You need to be able to define who you are and get clear on your purpose to be able to cancel out the noise that comes from other people.
Once you know exactly who you are and what you want out of life, it becomes easy to do you. If you listen to everyone's opinion of who you should be, you'll drown in the river of confusion that becomes your life. On the journey to doing you, you will need to look into why other people’s opinions have a hold over you. Introspection will shed light on the parts of yourself that you don’t want to face, and bring to light the co-dependence and false beliefs that continue to influence your life on a subconscious level (see my ebook on Shadow Work if you want to dive deeper on this).
Everybody wants to be a good friend, partner, son, daughter, sister, or brother… yet we dishonor ourselves for our loved ones. We forget about the resentment that comes with trying to please everyone but ourselves. We forget about the regret that follows and how that will rob us of peace of mind. We spend so much time focusing on the external noise that constantly tells us what needs to be done, and we forget about the internal roar that we notice when it’s too late. When you pay too much attention to the external noise, you forget about your needs and wants and what you truly desire for your life. The result is so much external noise and absolutely no inner peace because you are neglecting yourself.
Peace. That is the price we pay for forgetting about ourselves and focusing on other people’s opinions of us. Many people aren't even familiar with what peace feels like because they have never experienced it. From the time we are teenagers, we want people to accept us, and we do whatever it takes to fit in. Few of us have the courage to step outside of the status quo, and instead stay in line and become imprisoned by the expectations of others.
Liberation from these prisons is what we need to free ourselves from. The price we pay for peace is to simply be our most authentic selves and do what we wish to do, regardless of what others may think. When we focus on ourselves, we break the cycle of turning into the people whose opinions imprison other people.
“What other people think of you is none of your business.”
People that spend their time worrying about what others think of them, tend to become people that talk about other people. When you spend your time people-pleasing and not living for yourself, you start to focus on the people that live their own lives. Then you begin to judge them for doing what you failed to do, which is to live life on their own terms. People that are courageous enough to take up space in the world and do what matters to them trigger you, and you talk about them. How dare they go against the grain and forge their paths. You look at these people with contempt.
This cycle must be broken. We must all focus on living our lives and free other people from our opinions. Spend time doing what you love with people that you care about, and do not become a stumbling block in other people’s journey. To aspire to live peacefully and to mind your own business - that should be your motto in life. Make sure the loudest voice in your life is your own, and you will find the peace and freedom that you seek.